this post was submitted on 10 Jul 2025
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Greentext

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This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.

Be warned:

If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.

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[–] rtxn@lemmy.world 223 points 2 months ago (1 children)

"When a gift horse is munching on one's carrot, one must be very careful not to look it in the mouth." - Albert Confucius, 1969-04-20

[–] Jackhammer_Joe@lemmy.world 29 points 2 months ago

You got my like for the date. But now: get out!

[–] tanisnikana@lemmy.world 120 points 2 months ago (6 children)

Speaking from a purely analytical ace/sex-repulsed position:

Removing the blindfold can only at best ruin the prize you’ve already got. You remove the blindfold and find out the best beej in the world comes from Supreme Fellator Donald J. Trump? No ma’am, there is no coming back from that. Leave it on.

[–] cheers_queers@lemmy.zip 49 points 2 months ago (1 children)

One has to be a Giver to give great head. I think youre safe.

[–] Kowowow@lemmy.ca 9 points 2 months ago (1 children)

I think you underestimate the power of spite

[–] xkbx@startrek.website 19 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Oh really? And how many dicks have you sucked out of spite? What sort of scenario would that even occur in? Where would one even find such a place!? Like what address!?

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[–] Track_Shovel@slrpnk.net 22 points 2 months ago (7 children)

I don't give a shit if it's mother Theresa slobbing my job, as long as I get their number and they're game to do it again.

Call me bb.

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[–] WeirdGoesPro@lemmy.dbzer0.com 84 points 2 months ago (2 children)

This is just a glory hole with extra steps.

[–] Pazuzu@midwest.social 7 points 2 months ago

A glory hole with the guarantee that it's the best head you'll ever get

[–] match@pawb.social 7 points 2 months ago

which is just a cum jar with fewer steps!

[–] IhaveCrabs111@lemmy.world 44 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (2 children)
[–] CH3DD4R_G0BL1N@sh.itjust.works 31 points 2 months ago

Always has been 🌎👨‍🚀🔫👨‍🚀

[–] RedSnt@feddit.dk 43 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Like Cypher said in The Matrix: "Ignorance is bliss".

[–] kautau@lemmy.world 18 points 2 months ago

Right before putting that delicious meat in his mouth

[–] SaharaMaleikuhm@feddit.org 42 points 2 months ago (1 children)

I'd bet money on the best bj imaginable is given by a femboy. Thus the blindfold comes off. I must see the love of my life.

[–] cadekat@pawb.social 27 points 2 months ago (1 children)
[–] WeirdGoesPro@lemmy.dbzer0.com 17 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Or one of those fish that clean the side of the tank in Chinese restaurants.

[–] cadekat@pawb.social 10 points 2 months ago (1 children)

I, uh, hope we're imagining the same kind of bear.

[–] WeirdGoesPro@lemmy.dbzer0.com 11 points 2 months ago

And I hope we’re imagining the same kind of suckerfish.

[–] Damage@feddit.it 40 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Of course I'm taking it off.
Knowledge has value. Are you so willing to give up any future chances just to not ruin this one? You may learn more on this art and its scholars!

[–] InternetCitizen2@lemmy.world 6 points 2 months ago (7 children)
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[–] TheGiantKorean@lemmy.world 34 points 2 months ago (1 children)

I rip the blindfold off right as I ejaculate.

[–] Stalinwolf@lemmy.ca 62 points 2 months ago (4 children)
[–] Lemminary@lemmy.world 16 points 2 months ago

Hah! Joke's on you, I low key would...

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[–] Fleur_@aussie.zone 31 points 2 months ago (2 children)

You know... I think I risk it all and take the blindfold off. Perhaps I am Icarus flying too close to the sun but whilst on the brink of perfection, why not take the plunge?

[–] ivanafterall@lemmy.world 11 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (1 children)
[–] MotoAsh@lemmy.world 11 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (3 children)

This is not only AI slop but assumes I am Putin. Totally ruins it. If I woke up one day and realized I was Putin, the first fucking thing I'd do is put a bullet through my brain.

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[–] RaivoKulli@sopuli.xyz 31 points 2 months ago (4 children)

Too little to gain and too much to lose in removing it. Just enjoy the experience and leave it at that

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[–] UnderpantsWeevil@lemmy.world 31 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

I will answer this question with another question. "If I don't take the blindfold off and find out who is doing the Lord's work, how do I get this person to do it again?"

[–] Kolanaki@pawb.social 25 points 2 months ago (1 children)

It would be me sucking your dick if you decide to take the blindfold off.

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[–] funkless_eck@sh.itjust.works 24 points 2 months ago (1 children)

as an everyone hot bisexual I wanna see whose genitals I'm tounging next

[–] rayquetzalcoatl@lemmy.world 8 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Even if it's a dog, though? 😂

[–] funkless_eck@sh.itjust.works 6 points 2 months ago (1 children)

my brother in Christmas, that's on you

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[–] Soulcreator@programming.dev 23 points 2 months ago (8 children)

I'm pretty sure I'm completely missing the point, but how on earth did you find yourself in the situation? Like your dick out and blindfolded in a location that virtually anyone can walk into. All of a sudden with little warning you feel something happening down there but you don't peek or ask what's up, you just sit there silently and long enough for you to realize you're getting the best blowjob of your life.

Honestly the more I describe the scenario the more I realize unless it's a trusted partner, this is not the type of scenario that most women would immediately just start going to town without reason. So if you are strictly looking for a woman, at very least one of sound mind you are probably SOL.

[–] ivanafterall@lemmy.world 8 points 2 months ago

I thought Marco Pole-blow was one of those universal games everyone grew up playing.

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[–] ratel@mander.xyz 23 points 2 months ago

The Schrodonger.

[–] Scott_of_the_Arctic@lemmy.world 15 points 2 months ago (2 children)

I'm taking it off. I need to at least make sure it's a sane human and not a rabid pig that's going to spontaneously bite it off.

[–] lb_o@lemmy.world 7 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Premise that it won't bite it off, otherwise it is not the best bj. Would you do it then?

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[–] yucandu@lemmy.world 15 points 2 months ago (1 children)

I could smell whether they were a man or a woman or a dog or a William Dafoe.

[–] Ganbat@lemmy.dbzer0.com 8 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Huh... So, out of curiosity, how does Willem Dafoe smell?

[–] RubberElectrons@lemmy.world 23 points 2 months ago
[–] Pacattack57@lemmy.world 9 points 2 months ago

Truly the greatest philosophical question ever conceived by man.

[–] KingGimpicus@sh.itjust.works 8 points 2 months ago

I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain.

Well and the amazing sloppy toppy pudding poppy.

[–] WorldsDumbestMan@lemmy.today 8 points 2 months ago (1 children)

What on Earth would have to possess me to get in that situation in the first place?!

[–] Darkenfolk@sh.itjust.works 7 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Kidnapping by your local terrorist sex workers(they are trying unionize).

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