Ask Lemmy

Compassion for the vulnerable and weak.

Bravery. My wife she's a revolutionary. She was on the street when they kicked out the dictator and they were shooting real bullets. I admire her

I'm going to be so shallow as to claim that if they look attractive, I find that instantly hot.

I'm a lonely male so the answer is if they give me a modicum of attention and kindness.

They use Arch Linux.

It used to be a pulse, but at my age I can't be so picky.

Kindness, low ego, emotional intelligence, positive mindset.

Passion. Idc if they like fixing up cars, playing guitar or painting. Although that's not something instant. It's more on a getting to know them basis but oh well xD

Anti-consumerism, it's a shame so few people possess it.

Belief in and support for Universal Basic Income.

Big tits.

Most people are going to say personality, but I am going to go with breast size.

A quote (or mis-quote) from "So I Married an Axe Murderer" https://youtu.be/W_ENWgPmXnY?t=134

Being my wife

Unfortunately, I seem to favor the neurotic. It's not a thing I can control. I know damn well not to act on it, but attraction/infatuation can be a bastard sometimes. On the flip side, on the not-instant side of things, plenty of togetherness and shows of affection and tenderness can also call forth attraction over time.

Funny.

1. That they give a shit about other people, and contribute in some way to their community/society.
2. Capacity for/evidence of personal growth. This one's not always easy to see, but it's amazing when you do.

To me it's passion. Talking about their topic of predilection with fire in their eyes. That does it

There's no cheat code to get them to like you, dude.

Not easily predictable without being completely random.

Being able to sing well.

Unapologetic intellectual curiosity! I absolutely love being around people who love learning new things and who get excited to find out more when they discover a new topic.
It's one of the first qualities that really stood out when I first met my husband - in a University lecture with 1000 people, he just nonchalantly sat down in the frontmost row because that's where he could hear the professor the best and ask questions. No shyness or awkwardness about it, which I found incredibly inspiring for some reason! I usually hid in one of the back rows because I was massively overthinking everything and afraid that the professor might call me out when he sees me not paying attention.

A really nice voice.

A good wink. A guy can be medium attractive or not my type, but if they make a little joke and then give me individually a subtle wink, I'm smitten.

Not talking about a compliment followed by a wink. A joke, and then they let me in on it with them with a wink.

Instantly? It’s a somewhat vague term, but magnanimity, having “loftiness of spirit.” To me, it means that when they enter a room they carry a subtle gravity. Their eyes are focused on what and who is around them, taking in each in turn with a clear understanding of what they see but a respect for what they don’t. A trim smile that welcomes greetings and promises warm words in return. They breathe with the calm ease of someone healthy and comfortable in their own skin, and with each step they appear to not just approach their physical destination, but their own personal fulfillment.

Integrity

Aside from all the things that are instant turn-offs...

Being hopeful.
Also seem to get drawn to BPD

Instantly hot? Sexuality. Dressing in clothing that shows off their body, the way they smile, being flirty, a sparkle in their eye, etc.

Being hot is just about attraction to me. It tells me they can be fun. Now, you can tank that hotness in an instant by being rude to a waiter, being shallow, unable to hold a conversation, etc. In my experience hot people tend to have weaker personalities because they don't have to work on them as much. Hot is often not worth it, but it can't be... hot.

I’m attracted to women with a more traditionally masculine personality or presentation. The helpers/protectors. Or non-binary. Bonus points if their whole Look is to deliberately intimidate strangers.

TL;DR image basically this but in all black.

A nice, plump dumper.

Being equitable and fighting for other peoples rights as well as there own, to the best of that persons ability. And the ability to know what consent is and actually use it as best as they can to there ability.

They are charismatic.

When someone laughs at my jokes they instantly become more attractive.

It's not the only thing needed to make someone hot - I don't think I know of one thing that would do the trick regardless of anything else... but it's a big leap towards it for anyone, because it combines them laughing and having fun (which is attractive) with making me feel appreciated and included and good about myself (which opens me up socially to feel attraction).

On the flip side, someone who doesn't laugh at my jokes will become irrevocably unattractive regardless of anything else.

The combination of a high EQ and IQ.

I confuse "attractive" and "naked" on a regular basis. I frequently have to remind myself to consider if I am seeing an attractive person, or just a person who currently is not wearing many clothes.