I feel like I should check on the story in about 28 days…
this post was submitted on 28 Oct 2025
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Truck carrying aggressive monkeys infected with hepatitis, herpes, and COVID crashes in Mississippi
(www.fox13memphis.com)
So, reading the short article, only one infected monkey escaped, per the sheriff's office. Then the University they are from clarified that their infected monkeys are not contagious, and there were no infected monkeys on that truck.
The monkeys are for primate virology research.
Nice reminder of just how hard spun headlines are.
Oh most definitely. But I won't let that get in the way of having a good laugh.
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RFK Jr will be very worried that his newly recruited team for the health and human services department had an accident whilst travelling to their new government offices.
Those monkeys are significantly more qualified than any of his current picks.
clears throat WHY?!?!
To give Hollywood some fresh material
This seems adjacent to the plot of Outbreak though
Truck carrying aggressive monkeys infected with hepatitis, herpes, and COVID crashes
A long as no one fucks the herpes monkey we should be fine.
in Mississippi
Shit.
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My monkey shipment!?!? There goes my weekend plans.
Calm down Dr. Evil
Listen, sometimes you need one hundred trillion dollars
Now tell me there was 12 monkeys in there
I actually had this one on my 2025 bingo card.
what else is
Two dead presidents... Didn't say which countries tho.
Right Wing conspiracy in 3... 2...
The crazy part is they were headed to Florida...
Which means despite all the existing infections, they were likely meant as a control group /s
Dang DEI woke monkeys carrying a fake china disease made in a laboratory
Thanks OBiden
Driver was drinking Tylenol.
Honestly, I'd be pretty aggressive too if I had hepatitis, herpes, and COVID and was just involved in a crash.
yeah with the way things have been going this tracks.
451 is a great error code. It's a reference to Fahrenheit 451, and is used to indicate government censorship. In this case it's being used all wrong, and almost ironic in nature.
418 is a fun one too. "I'm a teapot"
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That's probably for the best. Nobody should be subjected to fox news, or contribute to their ad revenue.
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First rule of 12 monkeys club is that you do not talk about 12 monkeys club
Assuming each monkey only has one of those infections each they are probably lowering the population average for Mississippi.
And raising collective IQ
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You beat me to it...
Dear God... Just why!?!
A friend of mine sent me the first screenshot and I thought the Facebook account had just been hacked.
At this point I'm just like, yeah, that may just as well happen.
When air force 1 goes down:
The story has been updated with information from people who know what they're talking about (as opposed to the idiot sheriff who made that claim)
Fair enough. But I hadn't posted it for factual value.
Ah yes. I forgot the news, and reality has taken a "Who's Line is it Anyways?" approach to interpreting reality. Everythings made up, and the points don't matter.
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I know they would just get in people's attics and cause mayhem, but Jesus fuck I've always wished the American southeast had wild monkeys I am rooting for the sole survivor
Yeah, that’s not very typical. I’d like to make that point.
typically the shipments aren't mixed like this. and the front stays on. but in this case. you see, when transporting aggressive monkeys with any one of the diseases, that's bad, but the front usually does, yes. stay on.
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They changed the article title but the URL still holds the goods.
You'll see this is the case everywhere if you keep an eye out. Fake news, and quiet editing after it circulates. Often on purpose. Like Dezi, the guy that shot cops raiding his house in Australia and went into hiding in the bush. All media outlets pushed stories that he sexually abused children, before removing all references to child sex abuse in later days after everyone had read the story. Likely to further remove any public support for the guy.
one is still on the loose!
I'm pulling for you buddy. Get the revenge you deserve!
So... Tuesday.
Hey this one was NOT my fault, I only work outside of US borders
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