this post was submitted on 17 Jul 2025
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[–] toofpic@lemmy.world 111 points 1 day ago (2 children)

I had a goth friend who would always get laid without much trouble. At some point he got a normal job and had to "become a normie", and I learned that it wasn't because he was a goth, it was because he was a complete asshole with women, and some women, for some reason, can't resist assholes.

[–] blarghly@lemmy.world 68 points 1 day ago (15 children)

Being an asshole implies confidence.

Women like confidence.

[–] But_my_mom_says_im_cool@lemmy.world 53 points 1 day ago (2 children)

Inexperience and young girls mistake being a dick with confidence

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[–] TheReanuKeeves@lemmy.world 30 points 1 day ago (2 children)

Certain women like asshole confidence. Typically the type to write "I'm a bitch, deal with it" in their bios

[–] blarghly@lemmy.world 32 points 1 day ago (5 children)

I've known many women who were very nice and intelligent, who dated assholes. Usually they end the relationship thinking "ugh, why did I do that? That guy was such an asshole."

They do this because women are human, and do the very human thing of making mistakes and regretting them.

[–] BigBananaDealer@lemmy.world 19 points 1 day ago (2 children)

sometimes you dont realise theyre an asshole until youre already a year plus deep

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[–] Almacca@aussie.zone 14 points 1 day ago (4 children)

The women that like arseholes, believe it or not, are also probably arseholes.

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[–] JackbyDev@programming.dev 20 points 23 hours ago (12 children)

When you say things like "some women can't resist assholes" it sounds like red pill rhetoric. A better way to say it might be like "some assholes prey on women's insecurities". Keep the focus on the person who is the problem, not the victims.

[–] Jax@sh.itjust.works 38 points 23 hours ago* (last edited 23 hours ago) (5 children)

When you say things like "some assholes prey on women's insecurities" it's incredibly condescending, especially when you consider that women can also be assholes.

Like begets like. I've known too many couples where both of the people in the relationship are trash.

[–] RaivoKulli@sopuli.xyz 16 points 18 hours ago (1 children)

The amount of tone policing here is fantastic, everyone is finding something problematic about what is being said even though the actual effect is mostly agreed on

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[–] abbotsbury@lemmy.world 34 points 22 hours ago

A better way to say it might be like “some assholes prey on women’s insecurities”. Keep the focus on the person who is the problem, not the victims.

idk I think that's needlessly condescending to women, not all of them dating assholes are victims, some just like assholes because they like asshole behavior because they're also an asshole.

[–] loudwhisper@infosec.pub 16 points 21 hours ago

This also takes away agency from people. In fact, I am sure that there would be a way to diagnose every single relationship ever as a form of abuse in which someone takes advantage of someone else's something.

Adults are responsible for their choices, and particularly in the case of "assholes", that is often associated with being assertive, dismissive and some people just like that kind of "I am the main character" features. Maybe there are even some deep rooted evolutionary reasons for that, I don't know. Anyway, painting anything as victim-oppressor dichotomy IMHO is nonsense.

[–] toofpic@lemmy.world 13 points 21 hours ago (1 children)

I keep the focus where I want, that doesn't change the asshole-victim situation, and I won't save anyone if I change the wording.

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[–] Rooskie91@discuss.online 80 points 1 day ago (3 children)

Can confirm.

I've let several women do my make up and they're always super enthusiastic that I'm down for that.

[–] BonesOfTheMoon@lemmy.world 44 points 1 day ago (2 children)

It's SO hot. A man in touch with that side of himself is sexxxxxxxy.

[–] shalafi@lemmy.world 18 points 1 day ago (2 children)

Top half, even the watch, all women's clothes from the thrift.

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[–] BigBananaDealer@lemmy.world 66 points 1 day ago

Prince will steal your girl, then steal her clothes, then steal someone else's girl in those clothes

[–] DJDarren@sopuli.xyz 45 points 22 hours ago (7 children)

I - a bloke - sometimes paint my nails. If they're still painted when I go to work you can guarantee I'll get a few comments from guys questioning whether they "should be worried" around me*. Meanwhile, the few women who work there think it's wonderful and have offered to do them properly for me. _ *they needn't be worried. My standards aren't that low

[–] camelbeard@lemmy.world 24 points 22 hours ago (1 children)

When guys ask if they should be worried around you, do they expect women to be worried around them?

[–] daniskarma@lemmy.dbzer0.com 23 points 22 hours ago

Yes. And women should be worried around them.

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[–] GraniteM@lemmy.world 44 points 15 hours ago (5 children)
[–] ameancow@lemmy.world 16 points 10 hours ago (2 children)

The problem is most average looking men, when bedecked in goth shit, look like Bluey got run over by a Spencer's truck.

The dude in everyone's imagination wearing black makeup and jewelry looks like a strung-out rockstar with don't-give-a-fuck vibes who lives for adventure and wild nights. The vast majority of ACTUAL men have the body-shape of a rectangle and have to spend most of every day waiting in lines, attending Zoom calls, explaining to customers why their wifi doesn't work (Reset the router Ethel, no that's not a router, you're holding an egg steamer.)

We gotta abandon the idea that people have "looks" at all times. Lets repopularize costume parties so guys get a chance to try to dress-up without it being some kind of shocking change to their entire persona. I had a stiff, straight-edge boss who attended a Halloween party and went goth. Completely unrecognizable, he was a legend.

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[–] Beebabe@lemmy.world 44 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (5 children)

Way to share your kink, sis. Mines biting people with brains. Everyone’s unique.

[–] Forester@pawb.social 14 points 1 day ago (1 children)

It's concerning that you had to clarify with brains

[–] Beebabe@lemmy.world 12 points 1 day ago

Well I like to bite. And I like smart people. Maybe I am a zombie lmao.

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[–] Gorilladrums@lemmy.world 44 points 1 day ago* (last edited 15 hours ago) (11 children)

This depends on the guy. Some can pull it off, others can't. I'm one of those who can't. If I put on make up, I wouldn't look goth, I would look like a serial killer lol

[–] SinAdjetivos@lemmy.world 18 points 1 day ago (1 children)

It's not so much about looking "goth" but learning how to augment whatever natural attractiveness you've got and demonstrating a level of self-assuredness and self-awareness. Knowing what works for you is part of that.

"Goth" just happens to be a very bold and somewhat easier style to look decent. A more "nude" look is, counterintuitively, pretty difficult but there's almost no masculine individuals who wouldn't benefit from it.

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[–] Nangijala@feddit.dk 32 points 18 hours ago (6 children)

People should do what they are comfortable with, but yes, if a guy wants to attract women, this is definitely a way to get what he wants.

I was part of the alternative scene and I also thought the goth-boy aesthetic was very attractive. All the girls did. To me, the most attractive thing a man could do to his appearance was to let his hair grow long. Like past the shoulders long.

Didn't have to put on make up and jewelry. Just have long hair and you could be fat or skinny, pretty or ugly. Didn't fucking matter. I'd look. If Henry Cavill walked down the street next to a nerdy guy with long hair, I would look at the nerd everytime. If he wore band t-shirts and military boots, it was game over. Only way a guy could fuck it up for himself with me was if he started the nice guy routine or was so socially awkward he couldn't talk to a girl. I have experienced both. The latter was a full date where the guy didn't say a word to me once and I was the one who had walked 20 km to get to his place because he had social anxiety and couldn't leave his home. Poor guy. I hope he's doing better today.

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[–] MissJinx@lemmy.world 30 points 23 hours ago (2 children)

Guys: I want a goth girl with big boobs

Also guys: ew goth. GAY!

[–] Honytawk@feddit.nl 12 points 18 hours ago (1 children)

They just love goths.

Female goths: double attractive

Male goths: questions sexuality

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[–] VerilyFemme@lemmy.blahaj.zone 28 points 15 hours ago (6 children)
[–] musubibreakfast@lemmy.world 27 points 13 hours ago (10 children)

I'd say an average of two divorced house wives, one assistant school teacher, one confused undergrad and half a random barrista per year.

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[–] HugeNerd@lemmy.ca 26 points 23 hours ago (1 children)
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[–] SuperCub@sh.itjust.works 26 points 11 hours ago* (last edited 11 hours ago) (5 children)
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[–] sad_detective_man@leminal.space 23 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (11 children)

been low key wanting to do Egyptian pharaoh shit for years but I work blue collar in hick country and don't dare until I can move out of the states

[–] ChickenLadyLovesLife@lemmy.world 14 points 23 hours ago (5 children)

I was in Atlanta for the 2000 New Years celebration and I randomly bought a red and yellow zoot suit to wear, with matching shoes. I have NEVER IN MY LIFE gotten more attention from women than that night.

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[–] otter@lemmy.dbzer0.com 18 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

Ohhh, that's the reason why The Sandman always looked so tired and kinda damp all the time... He was nearly drowning. 🤌🏼

("Second verse...")

[–] Taleya@aussie.zone 16 points 5 hours ago

The Danes, thanks to their habit to comb their hair every day, to bathe every Saturday, to change their garments often, and set off their persons by many such frivolous devices. In this manner, they laid siege to the virtue of the married women, and persuaded the daughters even of the nobles to be their concubines.”

Nike dudes even starting to get the monk haircut.

[–] daggermoon@lemmy.world 16 points 18 hours ago (13 children)

I wear black nail polish and skirts and still get zero pussy.

[–] sneezycat@sopuli.xyz 18 points 18 hours ago (3 children)

Same. Must be because I'm a woman, smh.

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[–] IndiBrony@lemmy.world 15 points 1 day ago

Early 00s were a great time. I rocked those painted nails and eyeliner 🤘 along with the baggy jeans, chains and spikes

Nowadays all I dress in is luminous shorts and anxiety 🤘

[–] rottingleaf@lemmy.world 14 points 10 hours ago

I mean, it maybe wasn't gay, but was definitely a reference to something hellish, depraved, opposed to common morality, weak, like that.

Because back then it clearly meant protest against authority, against hierarchy, against stereotypic masculinity, against war, against evil covered by normalcy.

In some sense it's an intentional show of vulnerability, that look.

And I'd take that over Kipelov in Russia every day, that moron who doesn't fucking understand what rock music is.

[–] driving_crooner@lemmy.eco.br 13 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (5 children)

I do that but I only get 1 (one) pussy. It's my wife's, so it's plenty for me.

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[–] Kowowow@lemmy.ca 13 points 1 day ago (3 children)

What about blue jeans and solid colour tshirts with no logos like a cartoon character

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[–] skisnow@lemmy.ca 12 points 9 hours ago (1 children)

I don’t know if I’ve got a big enough sample size, but the only guys I know who wear black nail polish are creepy Marilyn Manson types who mainly get laid with girls they met in their therapist’s waiting room

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[–] miseducator@lemmy.world 11 points 1 day ago

Then all you need is a weird, feathery top hat and you'll be just like that pickup artist guy on MTV.

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