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this post was submitted on 17 Jul 2025
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I've known many women who were very nice and intelligent, who dated assholes. Usually they end the relationship thinking "ugh, why did I do that? That guy was such an asshole."
They do this because women are human, and do the very human thing of making mistakes and regretting them.
sometimes you dont realise theyre an asshole until youre already a year plus deep
Yeah, new relationship energy will fucking get you sometimes
yeah im still feeling the repercussions of the one i went through 5 years after it ended
Big if true
I find that spanning inferential distances is typically best accomplished by starting from obvious facts. When you say something that sounds dumb because it is so obvious, you've found a good starting point for creating shared understanding.
Bad/terrible people can be hot. In fact, often when people are hot they feel more free to be their natural asshole selves because they can get away with it more. This applies to both men and women in all directions.
In fact, some people want their partner to be mean to them, its more often hetero women who like that. If a guy can be mean and get away with it, that implies they're hot shit, extremely confident, rich, and/or powerful. Those are attractive features in a guy.
There are also hetero men who want women to be mean to them, especially in the bedroom.
I can find no fault with anything you just said. Except maybe that having a thing for being abused spans all genders and sexual identities.