this post was submitted on 17 Jul 2025
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[–] Nangijala@feddit.dk 32 points 1 day ago (2 children)

People should do what they are comfortable with, but yes, if a guy wants to attract women, this is definitely a way to get what he wants.

I was part of the alternative scene and I also thought the goth-boy aesthetic was very attractive. All the girls did. To me, the most attractive thing a man could do to his appearance was to let his hair grow long. Like past the shoulders long.

Didn't have to put on make up and jewelry. Just have long hair and you could be fat or skinny, pretty or ugly. Didn't fucking matter. I'd look. If Henry Cavill walked down the street next to a nerdy guy with long hair, I would look at the nerd everytime. If he wore band t-shirts and military boots, it was game over. Only way a guy could fuck it up for himself with me was if he started the nice guy routine or was so socially awkward he couldn't talk to a girl. I have experienced both. The latter was a full date where the guy didn't say a word to me once and I was the one who had walked 20 km to get to his place because he had social anxiety and couldn't leave his home. Poor guy. I hope he's doing better today.

[–] ameancow@lemmy.world 3 points 18 hours ago (1 children)

When I was young I had so many hairstyles. I did ponytails, I did muffin-tops, I did mullets, I even did cornrows once. Having hair was fun.

The last time I grew my hair out I realized I was starting to look like Michael Bolton and chopped it off and donated it. Been shaved ever since. Growing up happens.

[–] Nangijala@feddit.dk 3 points 15 hours ago* (last edited 15 hours ago) (1 children)

Yeah, if it gets to the point where the hair starts thinning that intensely, it's better to just shave it off and bald is pretty awesome too! Don't get me wrong. I was more so speaking from the vantage point of me and several of my female friends when we were teenagers and early 20s women. I'm neck deep into my 30s atm and at this point, looks matters very little. My boyfriend has very short hair and hasn't worn band shirts for almost two decades but he's still a total snack to me.

[–] ameancow@lemmy.world 3 points 13 hours ago* (last edited 13 hours ago) (1 children)

Unrelated to anything, but I just find this funny because I have had to talk to so, so many young men as an older guy who has done mentorship/coaching.

I’m neck deep into my 30s atm and at this point, looks matters very little. My boyfriend has very short hair and hasn’t worn band shirts for almost two decades but he’s still a total snack to me.

You and a hundred million women in their 30's will repeat this sentiment all day every day. But the moment one ditzy college-age girl says on twitter that she prefers tall guys who wear expensive watches, suddenly an army of incels is born as that one take gets sent all the way to the top of every social media feed and carves out an entire new political movement.

[–] Nangijala@feddit.dk 2 points 11 hours ago

Yeah. People like to be victims. It gives you a out of jail free card to not work on yourself if the world is against you. Doesn't matter how true or false that is. If you want to find an excuse to not try and to victimize yourself at the same time, there is no limit.

There is sort of a sad poetic irony to the guys who value money and looks over anything substantial because they will spend all their time and energy on appearing rich and alpha and then they will bitch and moan when they can't find a girl who loves them for them.

And saddest of all: they literally can't see that all the things they hate women for are their very own values in life, projected onto the opposite sex.

[–] musubibreakfast@lemmy.world 1 points 20 hours ago (1 children)

I guess it's a cultural thing, over here you'd instantly get labeled a social outcast or a gangster.

[–] Nangijala@feddit.dk 4 points 20 hours ago

Where are you from? :D I'm Danish and here, being a long haired guy with band t-shirts mostly translates to "dude probably works in tech and is a massive nerd"