this post was submitted on 18 Jun 2025
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Lemmy Shitpost

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Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.

Anything and everything goes. Memes, Jokes, Vents and Banter. Though we still have to comply with lemmy.world instance rules. So behave!


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Refrain from using harmful language pertaining to a protected characteristic: e.g. race, gender, sexuality, disability or religion.

Refrain from being argumentative when responding or commenting to posts/replies. Personal attacks are not welcome here.

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top 33 comments
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[–] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 28 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

dibs on black sheep niece you never see or talk about except in hushed tones to whisper that she might be worshiping satan (hint, i am not worshiping satan, i am cooking pasta)

But WE are worshipping Satan.

[–] outhouseperilous@lemmy.dbzer0.com 6 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (1 children)

Ill fight you for that role. Ill fight you, and ruin thanksgiving.

And post links to my deviantart page on facebook events for winter solstice.

[–] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 4 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

It's more fun for me, a big hairy middle aged balding guy, to be the teenage niece though

[–] outhouseperilous@lemmy.dbzer0.com 3 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Shit, you're right. But i was thrown out for being queer as a teen, so never really got to be the teen niece. I've got the whole tragic fucked up thing going, and my dumpster fire burns with the heat of a million dying stars.

So if we're going rule of funny, it's you. Rule of drama, it's me.

[–] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 4 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (1 children)

this is true. we can have two nieces. i say we don't tell anyone and wear the same clothes, and never be in the same room at the same time.

[–] ShaggySnacks@lemmy.myserv.one 3 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Hey niece, I like your new look. Glad to see you rocking the big, hairy middle age guy look. Really digging then balding. What made you decide this new look?

[–] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 2 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] ShaggySnacks@lemmy.myserv.one 2 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Fiddles with their glasses

Myspace? Is that some sort of hangout for the youth of today?

[–] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 1 points 2 weeks ago

idunno are you cool with tom?

[–] BroBot9000@lemmy.world 14 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

Last sentence is a red flag

[–] SnokenKeekaGuard@lemmy.dbzer0.com 11 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Can we negotiate? How does 70% sound?

The Old Ones will brook no compromise with these infantile new-age deities.

“God” refers to the Satanic Demon summoned by a blood ritual including animal sacrifice. The family worships him.

[–] Kowowow@lemmy.ca 11 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] SnokenKeekaGuard@lemmy.dbzer0.com 16 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

I'm sorry, applications for uncles closed last week. You may apply for sister next week.

[–] Kowowow@lemmy.ca 9 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Bad offer you have no honor

[–] SnokenKeekaGuard@lemmy.dbzer0.com 5 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

How dare you accuse me of lack of honor

Only one way to settle this....

[–] Kowowow@lemmy.ca 6 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

THAT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE MY PUNCHLINE.

NOW WHO HAS NO HONOR

[–] Fabian@lemmy.zip 1 points 2 weeks ago

What about great-uncle?

[–] dual_sport_dork@lemmy.world 10 points 2 weeks ago

Niko, cousin! Let's go bowling!

[–] bacon_pdp@lemmy.world 7 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] SnokenKeekaGuard@lemmy.dbzer0.com 8 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

I already dibbed on grandma all night long

[–] ouRKaoS@lemmy.today 3 points 2 weeks ago

Can I be that guy from down the street that seems cool but no one talks to him or knows his name?

[–] socsa@piefed.social 3 points 2 weeks ago

What if we kiss in the shallow end of the gene pool 😰👉👈

[–] Kolanaki@pawb.social 2 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

I mean, if you believe in the Bible, everyone on the planet is related. 🤷🏻‍♂️

[–] MintyFresh@lemmy.world 1 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

Believe it biach, were all cousins, on our mamas side

[–] Wilco@lemm.ee 2 points 2 weeks ago

I call dibs on being "Cousin Johnny" I will only attend baptisms, weddings, funerals, and maybe the social events afterwards.

[–] YourMomsTrashman@lemmy.world 2 points 2 weeks ago

Can I be house cat. meow mreow meow mrrrp

[–] SVcross@lemmy.world 1 points 2 weeks ago

Can I be the cousin that is never present, unless there's an emergency?

[–] ryedaft@sh.itjust.works 1 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

But cult so kissing cousins? Right?

That was the case pre cult too