this post was submitted on 20 Dec 2025
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[–] 9point6@lemmy.world 55 points 12 hours ago (2 children)

Anyone holding this view can get in the sea

Equally moronic as saying the letter "e" is passive aggressive

[–] TheRealKuni@piefed.social 17 points 11 hours ago (13 children)

It’s not that EVERY full stop is passive aggressive, it’s about interpreting tone.

So for example, when I text my parents and say, “Thank you for the invite, we’d be happy to come over for dinner next Monday!” and my dad replies, “Great.” That looks passive aggressive.

He doesn’t mean it that way, tone interpretation from short texts just isn’t something he’s fluent in like those of us who’ve been texting (or IMing back before texts) most of our lives.

If he had said “Great” that would be fine, as would “Great!” But “Great.” is interpreted as sarcastic and/or passive aggressive.

[–] baronvonj@lemmy.world 25 points 11 hours ago (7 children)

and my dad replies, “Great.” That looks passive aggressive

What about it makes it look passive aggressive? How would excluding punctuation make it not look passive aggressive?

[–] osaerisxero@kbin.melroy.org 12 points 11 hours ago (2 children)

It's the explicit inclusion of period where 'normally' there wouldn't be one. In texting or DMs it would normally be assumed that one-liners wouldn't contain punctuation except to enhance effect, so the inclusion of the full stop is being read as a 😐 or exaggerated neutrality

[–] baronvonj@lemmy.world 12 points 10 hours ago (9 children)

It’s the explicit inclusion of period where ‘normally’ there wouldn’t be one.

But given the larger history of textual communication, full punctuation is normal. Texting isn't charged per character so it's not like there's a benefit to leaving it out.

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[–] TheRealKuni@piefed.social 6 points 11 hours ago* (last edited 11 hours ago) (1 children)

What about it makes it look passive aggressive?

Good question!

As I explained later in the post, “Great.” looks like sarcasm. My brain interprets it as having a sarcastic tone, and thus being passive aggressive.

(I am not alone in this, hence the very thing we’re commenting on.)

How would excluding punctuation make it not look passive aggressive?

You might as well ask why tone of voice changes the way we interpret things. Written short-form communication has evolved cultural norms that some people understand better than others, just like spoken communication. Chalk my tone interpretation up to an adolescence spent on IRC.

My point is that the full stop being passive aggressive is contextual. None of my uses of it here are intended to portray passive aggression or sarcasm, and if I wanted to do that I would not only change my sentence length and structure, but also my vocabulary.

But of course these norms aren’t as readily understood as actual tone of voice, which is why things like “/s” can be useful.

[–] baronvonj@lemmy.world 8 points 10 hours ago (4 children)

First off, thanks for humoring me.

As I explained later in the post, “Great.” looks like sarcasm. My brain interprets it as having a sarcastic tone, and thus being passive aggressive. (I am not alone in this, hence the very thing we’re commenting on.)

I get that it's a common interpretation amongst a demographic.

You might as well ask why tone of voice changes the way we interpret things

Eh, vocal changes carry actual physical changes in the sound waves which non-hearing-impaired persons can perceive, so I don't quite think it's an apt comparison. But I understand your intent in doing so.

But of course these norms aren’t as readily understood as actual tone of voice, which is why things like “/s” can be useful.

Precisely why it seems odd to me to interpret the use of the basic of punctuation whose literary meaning hasn't ever carried an absence of express indicator of emotional intent to be negative.

Again, thanks for engaging with me on it, even though I still don't get it.

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[–] 9point6@lemmy.world 12 points 11 hours ago* (last edited 11 hours ago) (2 children)

it's about interpreting tone.

Kinda feels passive aggressive, idk man

That's silly, and at the very least probably gonna cause unconscious bias to second language speakers, neurodivergent people & just anyone who doesn't communicate via text as much as we do

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[–] Treczoks@lemmy.world 9 points 10 hours ago (3 children)

If you interpret "Great." as "passive aggressive", you are nuts. It simply is correct grammar, something kids seem to be unaware of nowadays.

[–] SreudianFlip@sh.itjust.works 8 points 7 hours ago

The different context means it's not a literary communication, but notation for casual speech.

More script or score than Strunk and White.

In that mode, punctuation is performative, and with a period after one word you should weigh heavily on a grim tone of voice, or perhaps sarcasm.

As an old fart and former editor, context is key: there are many modes of expression, and the rules vary.

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[–] Jarix@lemmy.world 7 points 10 hours ago

I disagree with your entire take.

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[–] Kolanaki@pawb.social 7 points 11 hours ago (1 children)
[–] 9point6@lemmy.world 9 points 11 hours ago

You don't have to use them

Just don't go making stuff up about people's intentions when they do

[–] Pat_Riot@lemmy.today 33 points 10 hours ago

This is a stupid rule and I will continue to ignore it.

[–] Lemmyoutofhere@lemmy.ca 24 points 11 hours ago (2 children)
[–] TheFermentalist@reddthat.com 16 points 11 hours ago (2 children)

Nothing passive about that.

[–] Alaik@lemmy.zip 7 points 9 hours ago

This is the way. Fuck passive aggressive. Be aggressive aggressive.

[–] newtraditionalists@kbin.melroy.org 21 points 10 hours ago (1 children)

Man, that must suck to be so incredibly insecure that you project your need for constant validation on to, quite literally, the most innocuous thing.

[–] Remember_the_tooth@lemmy.world 6 points 9 hours ago (2 children)

Yeah, I also don't think it's only about the full stop. It's not like they're using semicolons.

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[–] sp3ctr4l@lemmy.dbzer0.com 18 points 8 hours ago (7 children)

Uh, just in general, people tend to react horrifically to long messages, 'walls of text'.

... even on discussion boards, like here on lemmy, or as a first intro message to someone on some kind of dating app/site.

I've been using the internet since the mid 90s.

It did not used to be like this.

People thought of messages as letters, like emails.

Now, a lot of people will get viscerally angry or disgusted in basically nearly any digital context if you send a message that's longer than roughly double the original Twitter character limit.

Hooray for normalizing slogans and soundbites in lieu of actual discourse, hooray for kicking off the trend of destroying our collective capacity to read multiple paragraphs at a time, great job Dorsey.

[–] tal@lemmy.today 7 points 4 hours ago* (last edited 4 hours ago)

I’ve been using the internet since the mid 90s.

It did not used to be like this.

A high proportion of people on the Internet in the mid-90s were associated with tech or universities and were comparatively well-educated. It was not a representative slice of society.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eternal_September

Eternal September or the September that never ended was a cultural phenomenon during a period beginning around late 1993 and early 1994, when Internet service providers began offering Usenet access to many new users.[1][2] Before this, the only sudden changes in the volume of new users of Usenet occurred each September, when cohorts of university students would gain access to it for the first time, in sync with the academic calendar.

The flood of new and generally inexperienced Internet users directed to Usenet by commercial ISPs in 1993 and subsequent years swamped the existing culture of those forums and their ability to self-moderate and enforce existing norms. AOL began their Usenet gateway service in March 1994, leading to a constant stream of new users.[3] Hence, from the early Usenet community point of view, the influx of new users that began in September 1993 appeared to be endless.

During the 1980s and early 1990s, Usenet and the Internet were generally the domain of dedicated computer professionals and hobbyists; new users joined slowly, in small numbers, and learned to observe the social conventions of online interaction without having much of an impact on the experienced users.

The only exception to this was September of every year, when large numbers of first-year university students gained access to the Internet and Usenet through their university campuses. These large groups of new users who had not yet learned online etiquette created a nuisance for the experienced users, who came to dread September every year.

And that's just college freshmen.

Internet access today is more universally-available. I'd say that it's just a product of seeing society as a whole writing.

A lot of what people read in, say, the 1980s was from mass media. That generally had a journalist


a professional dedicated to writing


and an editor checking their work. Those people probably had gone to college specifically to pick up writing skills, and likely spent a large portion of their professional lives writing. They had a high level of expertise relative to the population as a whole in that field. Now what you're reading is often without that filter. It's not that people in society changed. It's that you'd never seen society's writing; you'd just been reading what experts put out.

It'd be like most of what you'd seen your whole life was furniture created by professional carpenters, and then suddenly every Tom, Dick, and Harry was creating their own furniture.

I remember staring at YouTube comments when YouTube first came out and thinking "good God, these are terrible". Randall Munroe, who clearly had the same reaction, did a whole cartoon about it:

https://xkcd.com/202/

https://lemmy.today/api/v3/image_proxy?url=https%3A%2F%2Fimgs.xkcd.com%2Fcomics%2Fyoutube.png

collapsed inline media

The answer, of course, isn't that YouTube users are unusual. It's that the people who watch videos are more-representative of society than those who are writing and reading long-form text on Usenet or whatnot. That comes as a sudden and abrupt shock if you're used to reading that Usenet stuff. That is, you'd been in a bubble, and that bubble went away.

Randall worked at NASA. If you work at NASA and are accustomed to conversation among a bubble of what people who work at NASA say about space and then abruptly get thrown into an environment where people who don't work at NASA are talking about space, I expect that it's pretty shocking.

I remember also reading about what happened when email entered into businesses. It kind of mirrored this. For a long time, it was kind of expected that executives would have a secretary, because doing things like typing wasn't as widespread a skill and correcting errors on a typewriter was more time-consuming than it is today on a computer. A manager would likely at least get access to some sort of shared secretary, even if they didn't merit a personal one. That secretary likely spent a lot of their professional life writing, and got to be pretty good at it. That secretary was probably a lot better at writing than the typical person out there. Then businesses generally decided that with email, a lot of this dedicated-secretary overhead wasn't necessary, and arranged to have people just write their own memos. They promptly discovered that a lot of people high up in their org charts had very little ability to write understandably (probably in part because they'd been relying on secretaries to clean everything up for years), and for some years after email showing up in businesses, having training to remediate this was apparently something of a thing.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Secretarial_pool

A secretarial pool or typing pool is a group of secretaries working at a company available to assist any executive without a permanently assigned secretary. These groups have been reduced or eliminated where executives have been assigned responsibility for writing their own letters and other secretarial work.

After the widespread adoption of the typewriter but before the photocopier and personal computer, pools of typists were needed by large companies to produce documents from handwritten manuscripts, re-type documents that had been edited, type documents from audio recordings, or to type copies of documents.

Is all this a bad thing?

Well...the Internet has democratized communication. It means that everyone has a voice. It's got pros and cons. It's changed how politicians communicate (Trump being a good example). It means that it's easier to get material out there, but that the material doesn't have a filter on it that might have been useful.

I think that it might well be the case that the average person today probably writes a lot more than they did in the past, because electronic communication enables written text to be so-readily and quickly transmitted. I'd wager that the average level of writing experience is higher today than in 1995. It's just that you're seeing a higher proportion of Average Joe's writing than Jane the Journalist's writing than you might have in 1995.

[–] jjjalljs@ttrpg.network 5 points 7 hours ago (4 children)

Many people are only semi literate. This cuts two ways- many people struggle with reading longer text, but they also struggle with composing longer text.

I've generally worked in tech with rather educated people, but even there the lower portion of their writing skills can be disappointing. Like, a low grade for English Composition 101. Now, remember that most people don't have even that much training, and don't practice on their own in ways that encourage (what's traditionally considered) good writing.

I think this is part of why some people love chatgpt. They're poor at writing, and now there's a tool that purports to fix that problem without all the pesky work of practicing and learning.

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[–] rickrolled767@ttrpg.network 5 points 7 hours ago (1 children)

Now you’ve got me wondering when tldr became a thing on the internet

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[–] Kolanaki@pawb.social 14 points 11 hours ago

I prefer using the rules we all established and should have learned as children to communicate via text, which includes ending a sentence with a period unless it's an exclamation or a question.

[–] EsmereldaFritzmonster@lemmings.world 13 points 7 hours ago* (last edited 7 hours ago) (2 children)

It's been this way for a long time. 20 years ago I was told I came off as angry in my texts. It took me a sec, but I figured out it's bc i put periods at the end of the last sentence.

That sounds like a good plan. See you there

-vs-

That sounds like a good plan. See you there.

[–] tal@lemmy.today 10 points 6 hours ago (1 children)

That doesn't sound angry to me, but I suppose things are subjective.

[–] WindyRebel@lemmy.world 7 points 5 hours ago (1 children)

Nah. It’s not subjective. It’s the result of fucking imbeciles that don’t read.

That was meant to be angry because taking correct punctuation as some sort of slight is stupid as shit.

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[–] IWW4@lemmy.zip 11 points 11 hours ago (1 children)

What is a full stop in texting.

[–] WhiteOakBayou@lemmy.world 13 points 11 hours ago (2 children)
[–] MajorMajormajormajor@lemmy.ca 23 points 11 hours ago

No need to be passive aggressive about it.

[–] njm1314@lemmy.world 5 points 11 hours ago (2 children)
[–] lath@lemmy.world 12 points 11 hours ago

Yup.

We call it the hammer time. And by "we" I mean me, just now.

[–] blueduck@piefed.social 7 points 11 hours ago

Correct. British English typically calls it a full stop

[–] BranBucket@lemmy.world 11 points 5 hours ago (1 children)

If you insist on interpreting my use of punctuation in a text as anything other than an effort to communicate clearly, I'm likely to start being passive aggressive at some point.

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[–] ArgumentativeMonotheist@lemmy.world 9 points 11 hours ago (1 children)

If we're close, a lack of emojis/lols trigger me. 🤷

[–] lath@lemmy.world 9 points 11 hours ago (1 children)

And if we're not close, the addition of emojis triggers me.

[–] Remember_the_tooth@lemmy.world 8 points 9 hours ago (1 children)

Dear Iath,

This letter serves as formal notice that your account with Lemmy will end effective Saturday, 20 December 2025.

You will receive your final points, including any accrued compensation required by law, in accordance with Lemmy policy. Information regarding other benefits continuation and the return of Lemmy property will be provided separately.

If you have questions regarding this transition, please contact Lemming Resources.

We wish you the best in your future endeavors.

Sincerely 😥,

Tooth

Lemming Resources

Lemmy

Disclaimer: I don't actually work for Lemmy or any of the hosts. Just demonstrating an inappropriate use of emojis in a situation in which the people involved are not close.

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[–] jjjalljs@ttrpg.network 9 points 10 hours ago* (last edited 10 hours ago) (1 children)

This is a stupid rule and I do not use it. Sometimes I write something, add a period, and then decide not to write the next sentence. The period should not be interpreted as a secret message.

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[–] Rhoeri@lemmy.world 8 points 9 hours ago* (last edited 9 hours ago)

Wha kind of stupid shit is this? Full stops in texts is passive aggressive?

How is that even done?

And how is it construed as passive aggressive? What kind of fucking idiot thought this up?

[–] LadyMeow@lemmy.blahaj.zone 7 points 10 hours ago

lol. Full stop.

[–] NewNewAugustEast@lemmy.zip 7 points 7 hours ago (2 children)

The world is getting dumber by the day. It's a period. It ends the sentence, you are a moron if that bothers you.

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[–] tuff_wizard@aussie.zone 7 points 5 hours ago

I’ll thumbs up when I like what you’ve said. That’s why the “like” button on every platform is a thumbs up symbol.

You never have to worry about me being passive aggressive and you’ll fucking know when I’m being aggressive.

[–] Bruncvik@lemmy.world 6 points 8 hours ago (6 children)

I guess I'm a bit old-fashioned. I still put two spaces after a full stop.

But I digress. The question was about other unwritten rules of texting. Over the past year, it's become frowned upon at my company (a multinational with around 130k employees) to use the default yellow emoticons. People are gently reminded to use the colour that most closely resembles their skin. This is for conversations over Teams and Slack.

[–] __Lost__@lemmy.dbzer0.com 11 points 8 hours ago (1 children)

My mom uses the white smiley faces and I always feel like they are vaguely racist.

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[–] SreudianFlip@sh.itjust.works 6 points 8 hours ago

Two spaces as a convention is due to the monospaced fonts in typewriters.

If you aren't using a monospaced font it's typographically awkward.

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[–] mannycalavera@feddit.uk 6 points 10 hours ago (2 children)

Imagine living in a world where people are triggered by full stops...

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[–] lemmie689@lemmy.sdf.org 5 points 10 hours ago* (last edited 10 hours ago) (3 children)

imprettysureancientgreekdidnthaveanyspacesorpunctuationitwasuptothereadertodecipherwhatitsaidmaybethatswrongidk

[–] Remember_the_tooth@lemmy.world 7 points 9 hours ago (1 children)

That was easier to read than I thought it would be, but I would have gotten completely derailed by an unfamiliar word.

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