No.
this post was submitted on 09 Dec 2025
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I was alive before Internet ubiquity. I don't lack friends because of the Internet, it's because we were the first in our friend cohort to have kids, and people without kids don't want to hang out with kids all the time.
We’ve got friends who are about to have their second kid, and they’re going a little nuts because they want to socialize a lot more than they are, but can only hang out at like 10:30 am.
I asked them why they don’t just make friends with other parents in the area (they moved to a kid friendly neighborhood with a bunch of young families), and they kind of made a face and didn’t answer.
But like, why not? It seems like the perfect topic to bond over and you can watch the kids together, giving you plenty of time to hang out.
Can’t speak for your friends but early this year I tried to start a monthly “mom brunch”. I made a chat and invited all the mom friends I knew from work and from my toddler’s activities. I gave up after 6 months of nobody or only one or two showing up. I’ve had better success with setting up play dates (going to a playground and just sending everybody a text that they can show up if they’re free). It’s ends up being a little bit of talking and socializing and a lot of watching your kid. But I miss the old social things we used to do. Game nights. Going to dinner. Everything changes when there’s a group of kids. And yes, I knew that going in and I don’t regret anything. Sometimes it just gets lonely.
I'll second this. When my youngest was in preschool and I worked nights I was always the one dropping him off and picking up, and after class a big group of kids would hang at the playground and the moms would talk and hang and it was so nice. When summer rolled around someone would be like "we'll be at this pool at this time" and whoever was free would show up, but that was the only thing that worked. Kids are too chaotic and needy for caregivers to plan around them.
If my parents or brothers lived nearby it'd be different. Some of my friends have these intergenerational support networks and they can make plans and keep them (most of the time) because they have reliable childcare. Of course, they also spend more time taking care of their younger siblings and nieces and nephews, but that's the trade-off. I'd take it in a heartbeat.
Similar situation to us, but even worse, we had a fantastic group of friends in our apartment complex and then everybody moved in a short period of time (including us). Then Covid. Then having a kid. Most of our friends have kids now, and we still keep in touch, but we’re all in different states. We haven’t really found the same kid of group, kids or not, since moving away.
It wouldn't change for me. I don't even have friends on the internet.
I'm old enough to have not had a ton of friends before the internet.
Same. Although, I was in school back then, which kind of forces you to talk to people. The best way to make friends is to regularly see people. It is still hard, for me it is still a pretty rigged game of who I "click" with, but without you will never find out.
Actually, I was just thinking I should get off the internet more often.
I have lots of acquaintances and people with whom I'm friendly but few real friends... And I think that's fine. I've never felt the need to spend tons of time around others or have tons of friends.
The getting off the internet thing is good. Usergroups and meetups can be a great place if you need socialization.
The internet is the sole source of my social life. I would have no friends at all if it didn't exist.
Pretty sure that would make things worse.
I would invent the internet immediately in order to have more friends.
I mean the modern web is mostly made by college nerds and maintained by underpaid underappreciated ~~obsessive~~ open-source developers.
Maybe, I dunno, I've always been terrible with keeping in contact with people so likely not. I was hanging out with people constantly when I was in school but that was easy because school put me in constant social contact with those people.
I'm in the same boat, I love talking with my friends, but I always forget that I have that option. Once you leave my circle of proximity, you might as well be dead.
What little tolorence I have for social interactions is 100% due to the internet. If I can't hit the power button to make y'all go away I want nothing to do with you.
Nope. I'm a only child who moved a lot. I don't struggle with loneliness, I'm okay being alone.
I would probably have more "friends" but mostly because I'd probably still be resigned to putting up with a lot of toxic people.
The internet, while antithetical to mental health for the most part, did bring the destigmatization of self-care/boundaries and basic mental health.
Oh heavens, I don't even want to think about me without the net!
I was a nerdy introvert raised in a moderately abusive house, in a small town with hardly any other kids. I had zero social skills.
Got internet at 16, and now I could talk to anybody with no real barrier to entry. I spent a lot of years being oblivious and a borderline incel before learning to get my act together, but I can only imagine I'd be much more socially awkward and probably still be a jerk and much more conservative if I hadn't been able to talk to so many other people and especially with people of the opposite sex.
I still keep a small friend group, but I like to think it's more by choice now 😅
No, not really. Personally, think that friendships are very shallow these days. Only a handful of people or even less can be truly called friends that would be there for you when you genuinely them.
I’ve seen countless of times where people with several friends (or a lot) are left in the dust after two people in the friendships have a conflict or they are friends “only in the fun times”. This was also before the internet took off.
My mom somehow has this friend, I'd say like a BFF or something (same gender for context) while she was in school or something, and they seem so close. As a kid, I've been to their house a few times and I'd didn't have a phone (smartphones werent even a thing) so I was just bored and looked around at stuff while the adults talked.
My mom borrowed money from this friend so she'd have enough money to buy a house. That debt has now been repaid.
Like idk... that seems so rare... ironically my mom tells me "blood relationships is important" or some bullshit, but then I point this out and she just be like... speechless, cuz our actual blood relatives (like aunts/uncles) didn't even wanna help.
But yea "these days", maybe... maybe its just society gotten more obsessed with money and we end up with a low-trust society.
Nope as the internet for me is the escape from reality for me.
Serious answer:
If the internet didn’t exist, I’d be peer pressured into following whatever norms are followed by all the people in my physical surrounding. I’d take my cues from what my parents and family and classmates told me were “right” and I wouldn’t question outside it.
I’d probably spend more time “socializing”, which as an introvert would exhaust me. But I wouldn’t know any different, so it would just be The Way It Is.
But you asked if my social life would be “better”, and better is hard to define. Better for… general community compliance? Probably. Better for my general mental health? Probably not.
I like spending 15 minutes catching up on my Lenny communities and reading what you degenerate fucks are up to. I am less excited about “going out with friends” every night and “doing something”.
It was much harder to make friends before the internet existed.
Social life? No. But i defo don't think society would be hindered by fewer social media or social platform sources.
There's some social platforms that I straight out avoid due to the toxicity of the platform as a whole, while overall I think online has made my social life better, it definitely has a pretty heavy consequence as well.
No, the people around me are mostly racists, sexists, and bigots. If it wasn't for the internet, I wouldn't be able to find my people without moving far away.
Midwest/deep south eh?
No.
But it would still help.
(due to social media bubbling)
Hard to say. Please transport me to the no internet dimension so I can find out
Nope. I actually remember a time when the Internet didn't exist, and I didn't have a social life then either. At least through the power of Internet, I can group chat my buddies when we can't get together.
I don't know. It's something I think about a lot, especially when I'm wasting too much time online. But it really isn't that simple. I had lots of friends and saw them pretty regularly, but I moved countries to be with my partner and I'm very happy with that choice and our life together.
But I don't speak the language here, I'm learning but slowly. So if I wasn't in message groups, sharing memes and video chatting my friends back home I'd feel pretty lonely. And it would make the couple of trips home each year much more awkward. By keeping in touch so regularly it feels totally normal to spend the day with a friend, even if I haven't seen them in 9 months because I know all the little things they've been up to or excited about.
On the other side, if I had none of that, maybe I would have worked harder at learning the language. Especially with the lack of distractions the internet provides (being able to watch tv in English instead of local stuff is probably the biggest hurdle to learning), but realistically we're busy and live in the country, so if I had some intermediate language skills and was vastly more lonely I'd probably not have made any real friends. I'd just go to some more social events in the year and participate a bit akwardly and feel sad.
Where did you move to?
France. It's great and i love being here, but I teach English so there's a lot of having to speak English and not a lot of push to speak French. Things should quite down in six months and I hope to be able to focus more on French and start actually gaining confidence in talking.
France sounds wonderful to live in!
I wish I could speak French but mine is very beginner. And it's not France French.
You'll catch on quickly once you start, I'm sure. :)
I will always have my cats
Edit: seriously, though, I had a much more active social life before the Internet existed. The Internet really kind of “became a thing” when I was around 20. Life before that was a lot of fun.
The Internet came with the promise of being able to learn and to know anything, but it came with the obligation that you must learn and know everything. In many ways, it’s a burden.
I wouldn't think so. Because after school wraps up, sure I'll have a few locals left but as far as expanding beyond them is concerned, I would be a hermit by now with incredible contempt for society.
No, my internet friends are as real as the IRL friends I have.
The only friend I have is the one I married. And we met online.
Nope, I choose not to have friends because I have anxiety and don't like people. Girlfriend and family is enough :)
Well, better in what way? You can have loads of friends and still be lonely af. You can talk to some strangers at a bar and not have any real intimacy or heart-to-hearts. I don't get it. For me, probably not. I'd probably be at some cafe or at some geeky library hiding away from people 'cause I don't wan to deal with all that 24/7.
No I think I wouldn’t have met half the people I have today including partners. The internet can be an amazing place but sadly there’s those that make it bad, it’s one of the reasons I’m on the Fediverse pushing for a better internet with interaction instead of hatred
Yes. I miss calling friends on the landline and asking them to meet up. Being an adult, people live further away than they did in school, so it won't be as easy, but yeah. I feel we'd be more willing to meet in person than on e.g. discord.
I'd be dead by now.
The vast majority of the friends I had in the past were met online, including the only one I have rn who I met via BARQ, so no. If anything, it'd be worse.
I'd also probably be way dumber than I already am.
Nope. I don’t have any friends in IRL.
Typically for me, it's more a matter of someone's kids taking them from hanging out to needing everything planned weeks in advance. So I have friends that live in my phone but that i see IRL rarely.
1000% but I'm honestly ok with it. I think the bigger thing is not having access to therapy or psychiatry as a child/young adult was more impactful. If id have figured me out at younger age I probably wouldve met more people and made more friends.
Nope