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We’ve got friends who are about to have their second kid, and they’re going a little nuts because they want to socialize a lot more than they are, but can only hang out at like 10:30 am.
I asked them why they don’t just make friends with other parents in the area (they moved to a kid friendly neighborhood with a bunch of young families), and they kind of made a face and didn’t answer.
But like, why not? It seems like the perfect topic to bond over and you can watch the kids together, giving you plenty of time to hang out.
Can’t speak for your friends but early this year I tried to start a monthly “mom brunch”. I made a chat and invited all the mom friends I knew from work and from my toddler’s activities. I gave up after 6 months of nobody or only one or two showing up. I’ve had better success with setting up play dates (going to a playground and just sending everybody a text that they can show up if they’re free). It’s ends up being a little bit of talking and socializing and a lot of watching your kid. But I miss the old social things we used to do. Game nights. Going to dinner. Everything changes when there’s a group of kids. And yes, I knew that going in and I don’t regret anything. Sometimes it just gets lonely.
I'll second this. When my youngest was in preschool and I worked nights I was always the one dropping him off and picking up, and after class a big group of kids would hang at the playground and the moms would talk and hang and it was so nice. When summer rolled around someone would be like "we'll be at this pool at this time" and whoever was free would show up, but that was the only thing that worked. Kids are too chaotic and needy for caregivers to plan around them.
If my parents or brothers lived nearby it'd be different. Some of my friends have these intergenerational support networks and they can make plans and keep them (most of the time) because they have reliable childcare. Of course, they also spend more time taking care of their younger siblings and nieces and nephews, but that's the trade-off. I'd take it in a heartbeat.