Ask Lemmy

We have a saying that translates roughly to: friendship ends at the money.

So: Don't.

Give them for free as much as possible. Make your money from other sources.

Where do you live? That determines the legal environment.

You have good intentions, but you should have an exit plan. What will you do if you must ask someone to leave?

I'd start by looking into local laws regarding landlord/tenant stuff if you haven't already. Make sure you know what you're getting yourself into in case things go poorly.

I think it's great that you're willing to offer help to those in need. $500/mo is enough to really help you out with expenses, but likely cheaper than they're able to find elsewhere. Especially considering that the environment is supportive and safe for them.

That being said, I would strongly recommend getting them to sign well-defined contracts that you get from a real-estate lawyer to help shield you in the case of it turning sour.

My coworker just got finished with a year-long legal battle trying to kick out someone that he allowed to bunk in a spare room for a few months (completely free). Despite them not paying room or board they were classified as tenants and therefore had legal protection that they took every advantage of and made my co-worker's life hell. I'm all for strong tenant protections, but there's always going to be the exceptions that abuse the system. I would follow your heart on the payment side, but insist on contracts to protect your livelihood. Don't let a good deed ruin you.

My mom took in one of my sister’s friends she was fine. When I left for undergrad my mom took in an additional one my sister’s friends and it was a total disaster.

Those kids had fucked up home lives, in the first case it was the parents issues in the second case the kid was the issue and was just a really bad situation.

I wouldn’t do it.

There are ways in which this could go very well (i.e. your own example) and ways in which this could go very poorly. So it's not an easy decision to make.

You don't mention your wife's opinion on this - what does she think? You should only take on renters if both of you are completely on the same page, otherwise this could cause a major rift in your relationship.

If you do end up thinking more seriously about letting them rent your space, you need to be completely clear about your rules and expectations. Tell them (both your kids and their friends) what will absolutely not be tolerated, and stress that they will be kicked out if they don't follow your rules. And if you're concerned about legal consequences, make sure to consult with a real estate lawyer to write up a rental contract and brief you on relevant local rental laws.

You could always "charge rent" (low amount) as a way of building up a security deposit you give back to them when they leave and use to give some insurance in case they damage anything during the stay.

You seem to be open to all three options, and i wouldn't choose for you. I can provide some thoughts though.

What the kids wants could make the difference between 2 and 3 : do they want something strictly defined and stable (so more 3) or are they looking for something temporary and prone to change (so more 2) ? Their ability to provide the money can also make the decision for you, but since it's not discuted i assume they can.

Now, between 1 and the others, your wife opinion may make the decision for you, and talking with the kids to setup boundaries to prevent the situation from getting out of hands can be of some help in case you tend towards 2 or 3. Another idea is to search for other options, even if they don't use them yet, but that they could use in the case it's not possible at your house anymore, as others suggested.

I knew a family that tried to do this.

Turns out their mental issues also prevented them from taking care of their space. Probably caused them 50k in property damages.

Don't do business with family, or friends.

Not sure how it is over there but in The Netherlands in a situation like that it would be difficult to have them leave because you are not allowed to just kick them out without a very good reason (to protect the tenants). So if there are any problems or you changed your mind (at least here) you'd be stuck with them if they refused to leave.

I've known people who've regretted it but I've also had the privilege of knowing people who had such a positive experience doing it that they kept doing it.

https://www.colorado-violent-assault-crimes-criminal-lawyer.com/colorado-criminal-law-rights-of-a-house-guest-vs-colorado-trespass-laws

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Yeah okay

It's kind of a housing trolley problem. Once the person has worn out their welcome will you have the ability to put your foot down? Because doing so will feel like you are the one putting them out on the street. Some may even call you an enabler.

I am generally in favor of giving people a chance to do the right thing, but this is one of those classic situations where it almost seems like there is no positive outcome possible. Even if they get back on their feet with your help, at what point can you say "hey sorry, but you are doing so well I'm going to make you go spend three as much on on your own housing." That's honestly the best outcome and it's still kind of a shitty situation you probably won't feel good about. Worst case scenario, the relationship devolves and the person vandalizes your property and your insurance won't cover intentional damage.

It's just business. If they weren't renting from you, they'd be renting from someone else.

if they are renting and not free-loading, shouldnt be a problem, or you concerned about privacy.

Or maybe realize that we are in the middle of a housing crisis and help your kids that will never have the quality of life that was handed to you?