betterdeadthanreddit

Onion and un-young.

I can't stand his open-mouthed idiot stare, no idea how he got picked to host a TV show. The only time he should be in front of a camera is for a perp walk when they match up items in his trophy collection to a couple dozen missing persons cases.

Did you hear about the constipated mathematician? They worked it out with a pencil.

"Herring fart or Russian sub" is my second favorite underwater guessing game.

I'd have expected a few charges related to making a mustard agent on the street corner as well.

I'm glad you're asking this question, it's about time.

The Khmer Rouge renamed the complex "Security Prison 21" (S-21) and construction began to adapt the prison for the inmates: the buildings were enclosed in electrified barbed wire, the classrooms converted into tiny prison and torture chambers, and all windows were covered with iron bars and barbed wire to prevent escapes and suicides.

Source

Someone who would support me if I was a nazi is no ally of mine.

They brought a stool over...

That makes sense, they'd have to supply it for a C-section but not a vaginal birth since all that pushing means the stool typically just shows up.

Anybody with a full bladder can write their name in the snow but once my plastic levels are high enough, I'll be able to 3D print it.

I brought down all my department's services to take a day off and blame it on Amazon. Next year when negotiating a raise/budget increase, I'll point to this incident and take credit for migrating us off AWS after six months of in-person training classes (either in places I haven't visited or would like to see again) and another six months of hard work in the office (napping in the server room).

2026 is looking pretty good already and I definitely won't regret tempting fate by saying that.