"If more of us valued food and cheer and song above hoarded gold, it would be a merrier world." - J.R.R. Tolkien
this post was submitted on 13 Jul 2025
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This is just a succubus with extra steps
Not trying to play the virtuous superbeing here, just trying to get some perspective: am I the only one who finds such relationships... draining? I mean, I like being offered attention and affection, a lot! But this type of relationship feels like having helicopter parents, overbearing.
The occasional surprise meal, or doing the cleaning alone when I'm sick and melting are all fine and dandy in my book, as long as it's not a constant occurrence and reciprocation is involved - I like returning favours, almost more than I do receiving them.
Again, not trying to virtue signal, I want to understand if this is part of my avoidant bits, or if it's part of the usual spectrum. Childhood-long fuckery requires lifelong study, apparently.
I mean, if we're making up a story about a kind of demon it probably shouldn't be a healthy relationship.
A succubus sucks your soul out through your crotch, which feels great until it doesn't. That's why its supposed to be a scary monster.
The post says, "until you die of natural causes", but for a counterpart to a succubus I think it would much more appropriate if it was able supernaturally influence you to reduce your worries and make you more and more dependent on it (just as a succubus can supernaturally charm its victims). Gradually you care about less and less as you lose all motivation, and at the end you don't even bother to struggle as your soul is ripped from your body.
Fair point and completely agree, but I was trying to divorce it a bit from the mythical/greentext framing (sorry if I left it ambiguous!) and referring to the more realistic version of such relationships, namely of the spouse/romantic partner/SO/you name it who plays a dutiful/doting parent for their partner.
In that case, I think outright malicious intent is seldom a direct driver for this type of relationship, usually has to do with either codependence, enforced Old Timey norms, or other such quasi-external/artificial sources. I do agree that the mythology around Succubi is a fine cautionary tale of what the result will be on the doted-upon partner's end, very hard to develop one's complexity when little to nothing is required of them in terms of effort in order to exist (not talking about poverty and such, just about normal everyday life stuff, like washing dishes, taking out the trash, cooking, paying bills, etc.).
And that's what generates the confusion and the need to clarify in me. I understand that the way I've been raised hasn't been necessarily conducive to objective reasoning in terms of interpersonal relationships and I'm trying to figure out if/where there are any lingering points of bias from this perspective within my processing.
Sounds like a tricky question.
I would say that if my partner would basically do everything for me in housework I would feel uncomfortable if I was not also on some level giving back to the relationship. Not that I like traditional roles but I feel in those there was at least the assumption that both work, one at home and one for another boss.
In a scenario where someone really just does everything for you and there is nothing to contribute that would also feel grating and uncomfortable to me. Just hearing about a partner who would cozy you up for a while though sounds chill to me and something that has happened to me and I have enjoyed. Especially if it feels contextually appropriate: you having a rough patch and getting more support from them.
So when I first read it, thinking about my partner and me just chilling and me not having to do much of anything that did sound slightly tempting on some level as a fantasy.
Maybe that helps as a different perspective?
Certainly does, thank you!
We have a lot of points in common from what I see, because I, too, start off feeling uncomfortable in a "hey, that's not exactly fair of me" manner, and evolves into an "ok, I'm starting to feel infantilised/suffocated" coded frustration if it persists after attempting to talk about it and balance things out a bit.
Otherwise, hell yeah! Gimme a lazy weekend on the couch with my SO, we'll binge everything under the sun! I don't mind being an utter slob as long as we both get to be slobs equally! But it's entirely untennable long-term, so I'd much prefer to be allowed to pull my own weight within the relationship, unless objectively incapacitating circumstances apply, as you've mentioned! And would gladly cover for my SO should said circumstances apply on their end (or, to be fair, if I'm in a particularly energised state and know that I can handle more, gotta keep the motivational adrenaline pumping!)
Thank you so much for providing your perspective, clarity is within reach now! Also, deeply appreciate this coming from a former Sloth Demon😉 (got to see your old tag for a spell, had a good laugh:))) )
Edit: nevermind, it was the post title... new app, not used to the layout, also I'm fairly Krispy Kreme right now=))) Sorry :">
It's infantilizing. I would never treat a grown man that way, nor would I live with a guy who expected to be 'taken care of' to that extent. It implies a lack of trust in your ability to take care of yourself. I want a partner, not another child to take care of!
You are average in this, I would say.
Thank you! It genuinely is a load off my mind now that it's clear I'm not off the mark with this one!:))
And that's exactly it! Partnership, and that implies equal give and take on both sides (with compassionately compensating for one another when really needed)!
And very well said in terms of trusting one another to be capable of taking care of themselves! Worst case scenario, if it happens that the methods of approaching the same task vary greatly between the two parties (talking about how one washes the dishes, not how often, for example), these things can always be mitigated through clear and open discussion! This is also comes down to trust, as I see it.
Thanks so much once again! Sanity check complete with zero errors!❤️
To answer your question, yes, they are draining.
Why? Well you are living with another, who was not raised like you, live like you, or grew like you. Completely different and in each of these minutiae of differences you can find issues. Essentially it works in tandem with expectations and why they are still wanted.
It gives you emotional comfort, it gives you physical comfort, and above all else you start to form a union. Something so uniquely both of you that you have changed and so have they, in ways you couldn't imagine alone. You no longer feel isolated in your mind.
It is your parent and your child. Someone you will care for, and someone who will care for you. It keeps you grounded from flying to high, keeps your mind to consider someone before yourself.
The benefit is the world becoming dominable, while nothing has really changed. A partner is a helicopter parent because you tell them who you are and what you want, they just remind you of your own expectations and keep you faithful to it.
They are just a mirror of your own wants, needs, and wishes. So it is your own actions and words that will reflect.
If it is draining, it is because you have not interacted enough with the world to realize you are always being drained. Finding something of meaning to pour into becomes fantastically magical. Suddenly you are no longer drained, it is a willful action to pour and be captured by a vessel of your choosing.
Oh, I think there's a misunderstanding, I wasn't referring to relationships in general, only the ones where one of the partners is expected/insists on doing all of the household/caretaking tasks by themselves, those I find overbearing and draining - the ones where, for whatever reason, one partner exclusively acts as a parent for the other.
Relationships overall, quite the contrary! I generally find them fulfilling, although I show a tendency to seek familiarity, which means unhealthy dynamics and, frequently, unpleasant endings... That's 75% on me and my still-mending patterns (because I am aware there are many manipulators who specifically seek out their targets).
And I don't find the world in general draining, either! What drains me is hate, greed, bigotry, xenophobia of all shapes and sizes, everything driving some of our species to commit horrible acts. But to say that the world in general drains me is to be unfair to the myriad people who are beacons of wisdom, who have that particular spark which lights up a whole room, those who can see even the tiniest details and set them into wonderfully intricate webs of causality!
Not just that, but the world itself is wondrous! I cannot but feel recharged when I see a starry night sky, or a warm summer sunset, sit and listen to the waves crashing against the shore, or just lose myself for hours in meditation listening to rain pattering over everything around me!
It fills me to the brim to know you can see the way your cup fills at the marvel of our stars, at the patience within your meditation.
Relationships like this can be draining because you wish to compensate or match somehow. So it creates almost a directionless frustration of inadequacy.
It is how I felt when my love would work 2 jobs and I had so much time and couldn't really do chores because of my upbringing. Making it a threshold I had to cross as an adult.
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all this means is you're more well-adjusted than the average 4chan user.
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Honestly, people on here would find this hot/great for like a day, maybe a week max. If it goes on more than that, the negative side effects will kick in.
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I feel like a sloth demon would take it a step further. You'd be enticed to napping, until one day you wake up from a nap, your face is wrinkled, every one of your friends has forgotten you, you're alone with only the sloth demon. Your life has been wasted away lying in bed.
Remember that time you said you were gonna travel? You were gonna go to Japan, you said. Too late now. You're too tired, you don't have any money. All you have is the Sloth Demon.
One day, your girlfriend calls you for your third nap of the day, and little do you know, you won't be awakening from that nap.
Your funeral has no attendees, at most you're a minor headline on a social media post about mental health. Your girlfriend? Gone, gone to find her next victim. Sloth Demons may not go through as many victims as their lustful cousins, but they get every last morsel out of them.
You write that as if it's abad thing but I'm sold already
Demons are meant to be tempting!
Remember that time you said you were gonna travel? You were gonna go to Japan, you said. Too late now. You're too tired, you don't have any money. All you have is the Sloth Demon.
That's the wombo combo of depression and poverty.
Now that is worth being scared of. Thank you
So, an energy vampire
Isn't that what the paradise supposed to be?
Kind of sounds like succubi.
Slaanesh's sixth circle of seduction: indolency.
This implies your only worth as a human is what you produce or "accomplish" by other's standards. It's not for me personally, but there's very much validity in a life spent enjoying life, and not just for a future success.
still if they are targeted they could derail human achievement, promising nasa worker? too bad you got slothed
Explains my life tbh
Thats called a Blerch.
https://theoatmeal.com/comics/running
Eat the whole cake, eat the whole goddamn thing. You earned it somehow
Yes please.
It's all I've ever wanted
Yes, I'd like a big tiddy sloth demon taking care of me, pretty please
Demon? Dude this sounds like heaven.
isn't the embodiement of the sin
So it's not actually a giant sloth with big titties like I was imagining? 😩
This sounds like a big win. I wasn't going to cure cancer or be president anyway. At least with the sloth demon, I don't have to worry about having a job to pay my bills. The demon's got it covered.
My wife and I discussed something along these lines today. She said I would probably enjoy a nerdy gamer girl. I told her I'd end up pretty much like the sloth demon victim, completely unchallenged and lazy.
That's not to say a female gamer couldn't be a fulfilling, awesome girlfriend for anyone, but I know it wouldn't be ideal for me.
I learned in my 20's that my ideal mix of interests with a significant other needs to include:
- Shared interests that we already loved before we met, that we can connect and bond over for that initial spark.
- Her interests that she introduces to me, and my interests that I introduce to her, so that we can build on something together and appreciate how the other has enriched our own lives.
- Some new interests that we can both pick up and grow in together, and further reinforce our enjoyment of spending time together and growing together.
- Our own individual interests that never really click with the other, so that we can each continue to do things that reinforce our individuality and self identity distinct from that particular relationship.
For me and my wife, we already loved food and dining and cooking before we met each other. Easy thing to build early dates around: "have you been to so and so restaurant, I've always wanted to check it out." We also loved a lot of the same TV shows (mostly single camera sitcoms like The Office, Arrested Development, etc.), and had easy couch time for quiet nights in.
She introduced me to style and fashion, and I appreciate a lot of the things about clothing and accessories and even makeup that I never bothered with before the age of 35.
I introduced her to football, and we enjoy going to games together.
We both introduced each other to a lot of musicians, TV shows, movies, and other entertainment we now both like.
We both picked up an interest in wine, whiskey, cocktails, and learned about this stuff together (and have planned memorable vacations centered on the places where people produce that kind of stuff). We also really learned to appreciate architecture and interior design, going as far as to go on tours and visits to specific places and cities and museums for these types of things. We became really particular about silverware and dishes at some point, too, which was a bit of an extension of our love of dining and our love of interior design.
And we still like our own stuff. She likes golf and tennis. I like basketball. I like all sorts of techy nerdy things that she has no interest in. She loves certain types of books and movies that I just do not care about. Our fitness routines have basically no overlap (yoga and spin versus powerlifting and Crossfit-style functional fitness workouts). She likes home improvement and garden stuff and I barely tolerate occasionally doing a few things around the house.
And it works. Having both distinct parts of your life and shared parts of your life seems to strengthen the bonds overall.
Don't threaten me with a good time!
Can I get the man version of that? Kthnx
I'm not seeing the problem here.....
I think anon might be a bit of an incel...
Aren't all anons?
Anon is probably peojecting a bit of his current life in here. Except with no sloth demon mommy, and just on his computer all day.
I'll take this one for the team, please send this demon to me.
Ah the dream
Being the president isn't that a good thing these days... Just saying... 😬
Doesn't this imply that the world would progress as nornal, just with demons taking care of everything and all the humans just chilling at home? (Assuming the demon actually works and doesn't just conjure up whatever it needs to take care of you)
This is my life. Plus 2 cats.
Try 3 cats, it's the shit.
My sloth demon wants me to play the new mario kart and eat curries. I have married her.
I'd take a sluth demon. A succubus that doubles as a sloth demon. Monogamous, requires equal amount of cuddling and sex.
Sorry, but when you say sluthdemon. The only thing i can think about is a demon that forces you to watch as it solves crime using deduction all the wile making you look too stupid to have solved it.
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