Honestly this is a great joke but also could legitimately be a good service for someone who didn't feel safe walking alone, or needs help navigating
this post was submitted on 20 Apr 2025
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A lot of university campuses have this. It's a good idea.
They probably don't charge money for that service though, and that's a better idea.
John Mulaney has a joke about how his parents knew Bill Clinton that way, from all going to undergrad together at Georgetown. Apparently all the women loved being escorted by Bill Clinton, and the men were all jealous.
Tbh, it makes sense. You don't end up being president by being a no-rizz fool. You may be considering bringing up Trump as a counter-argument, but just look at all the people that are letting him pound them in the ass right now.
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Wait: My memory of the story was that Clinton loved to escort women around and constantly signed up for the duty, and everyone else on all sides of the equation had no particular strong feelings about it. Except for John Mulaney’s mom.
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I found out in my senior year, that my campus had been plagued by a serial rapist for several years, going back to before i was a freshman, and the school had covered it up. I only found out about it when i learned that my roommate's girlfriend had a sorority sister on a full-ride scholarship to keep her quiet about being raped in her freshman year.
Suddenly, the pressure to use their chaperone service became clear.
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Especially if they'd help carry your bags and whatnot; that could be very helpful for someone who has mobility issues or just has a lot of things they need to bring. Well worth $7.50
how can it be this cheap though? sure it doesn't require gas but it takes longer so the guy would need more pay for the service right?
The business model is to make it cheap initially by subsidizing it with investor capital. So, the gig worker may be paid more than the user is being charged. Then, eventually raise the price once the user base is large enough and dependent enough on it (or the prior alternative is sufficiently put out of business).
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It's at least 5 years old and it seems every single year the news outlets "fact check" it and declare it false.
Meanwhile we have actual conspiracy theories on official government websites and those same outlets say nothing.
I hate this timeline.
There's been jokes that end up becoming reality so yearly fact-checks is appreciated
Both see the same offer, neither get the money
I feel awfully called out as a 1994 white Kevin...
Hahaha white Kev never can catch a break
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You know... There's a lot of women that wouldn't dare to walk alone at night. That white Kevin has been vetted by Uber and has a paper trail.
How about not just a white Kevin but an Armed Stacey, or a security guard Michelle.
of course, it'd probably cost MORE to get someone to walk with you because they'd have to not only drive there and walk but walk back.
I don't say this much but that is actually a good idea, considering the amount of people that live very lonely and isolated lives. Maybe this can help some people to talk, enjoy another's company, etc. Maybe. Everything else the effing internet and tech companies tried only managed to push people apart...
Except that it gives predators an easy way to be alone with drunk women. I wouldn’t trust Uber’s security checks.
sure, it's nice to do something about loneliness. Makes me think of human libraries, where you can borrow a human to have a talk with. But please, let's do these things voluntarily and not for profit. There's something nasty about "I'm only willing to speak to you if you pay me".
Isn't that a japanese thing? With cafes where you go to talk with a person?
But back to the subject at hand.
I could see this as a way to get someone's help to take some groceries home or some large object a single person can't, as it is too akward to hold alone.
Or as a personal guide or to have company to go to/through somewhere someone does not feel comfortable.
For the first time, I saw a car with Uber stickers in my country. Wanted to peel them off, but I also don't wanna get in a fight over it. Pretty sure it'll mostly be used by foreigners because the local alternative has several years of advantage and is also a multinational now.
Why?
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This would be legitimately amazing.
Why is the walking buddy holding hands? Are they letting you know Kevin is single and ready to mingle?
Ah yes, the escort service.
Is uber not profitable?
“In 2023, Uber reported its first annual profit since going public in 2019, with a net income of $1.9 billion. This follows a period of consistent losses for the company.”
Never has been Earth astronauts gun meme
No, but fr Uber is a masterclass in creative accounting and strategic acquisitions for further creative accounting.
unlike other comments, I'd argue, like most tech, it was incredibly profitable for anyone except the people funding it.
Business is not about extracting money from goods and services, it's about tricking VC funders to give you 50 million dollars a year
Their whole business model is "wait for self driving and then $$$" as they'll no longer have to pay anybody.
Hilariously unprofitable. They even came up with creative accounting to show how, despite never being profitable they may turn a profit if you don't count their debts and losses.
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This is routing from LaGuardia airport in NY, meaning the "walking" route has you taking a subway. Maybe the walking buddy is a local NYC thing meant for people who want assistance navigating the trains. I never see this on my app tho so it must have been a trial feature.
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"Drop off" makes it sound like he'll carry you.
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