this post was submitted on 20 Dec 2025
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Showerthoughts

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If humanity suddenly vanished and all that would be left of our existence is all the videos ever filmed. How much of that would be porn? What would other civilizations think of us? Fucking perverts, aren't we?

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[–] Thedogdrinkscoffee@lemmy.ca 170 points 12 hours ago* (last edited 11 hours ago) (10 children)

Porn is great. We are sexual beings. Your shame is unwarranted.

Also what makes you think aliens aren't interested in our fertility rituals. As captain kirk taught us, knocking boots with aliens is awesome.

I hope they are on their way to us now for an interstellar booty call. Better yet, I hope they are covertly here now on a genetic exchange program.

Edit: You know all those weird sex ads in the back pages of alternative magazines. Aliens among us maybe??

Edit 2: To the people downviting this, this is exactly why you don't get invited to better parties - Including alien sexy parties.

[–] teft@piefed.social 58 points 12 hours ago (1 children)
[–] Zorque@lemmy.world 7 points 8 hours ago (1 children)

Pretty sure Picard (and possibly Data) got more than Riker did. Especially post-beard.

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[–] 5714@lemmy.dbzer0.com 21 points 11 hours ago (2 children)

No one:

Lemmy users: How can I mention Linux or Star Trek?

Funny, but wholesome...

[–] SpaceNoodle@lemmy.world 4 points 10 hours ago (1 children)
[–] some_kind_of_guy@lemmy.world 7 points 7 hours ago (4 children)

I'm still not 100% on that one, but I choose to interpret it as "no one asked" or "here comes something totally unprompted".

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[–] MrQuallzin@lemmy.world 15 points 11 hours ago (15 children)

I'm not reading this as OP shaming porn. The "fucking perverts, aren't we?" reads (to me) as them lumping themselves in with the rest of us.

Yes, we're indeed fucking perverts, and it's fucking great!

[–] falseWhite@lemmy.world 11 points 11 hours ago* (last edited 11 hours ago) (1 children)

Yes, I am definitely in that group. I watch porn. I just had this realisation of how much porn there is to choose from vs how much choice there is on Netflix. And all that porn is basically free.

[–] its_prolly_fine@sh.itjust.works 5 points 6 hours ago

Comparing free porn to Netflix is the problem. Pornhub vs. YouTube is more comparable.

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[–] dohpaz42@lemmy.world 10 points 10 hours ago (1 children)

Porn and sex work itself aren’t bad, and are natural extensions of our human condition.

The shameful parts are the people who create sex trafficking rings, child/incest porn, and porn that imitates child/incest porn. There’s probably more shameful uses of porn, as we are also a degenerate society in a lot of respects.

[–] Hjalamanger@feddit.nu 4 points 10 hours ago (1 children)

Or just all of the other cases of the porn industry hurting people (especially women)

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[–] NotASharkInAManSuit@lemmy.world 10 points 10 hours ago (1 children)

Dear aliens hiding amongst us: …Hey.

[–] tanisnikana@lemmy.world 9 points 11 hours ago (1 children)

The species as a whole is sexual; individuals probably are, but sometimes not.

Sorry, just wanted to leave a little space for asexual people like me.

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[–] sp3ctr4l@lemmy.dbzer0.com 7 points 7 hours ago* (last edited 7 hours ago)

As we say over in the schlocky scifi movies galactic quadrant ...

... "earth girls are easy".

[–] spiffy_spaceman@lemmy.world 4 points 6 hours ago

I upvoted solely because of edit 2

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[–] teft@piefed.social 54 points 12 hours ago

Most people have a biological imperative to get their rocks off.

We live in a society that is becoming more and more isolated by the day.

Put those two things together and you're gonna end up with a literal fuckload of porn.

[–] JadenSmith@sh.itjust.works 30 points 11 hours ago (2 children)

To be fair, many of the earliest statues and such found were penises, or women with a chunky badonkadonk.

I don't think this is anything new. As humans, we may just like big butts. Why lie?

[–] Lost_My_Mind@lemmy.world 14 points 11 hours ago (1 children)

Amen. Praise be to our savior, Sir Mix-a-lot.

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[–] hungryphrog@lemmy.blahaj.zone 7 points 10 hours ago (1 children)

Also, those pieces usually are explained as objects for fertility. And as a mammal that is pregnant for 9 months with 1 child, then gives birth and almost dies, and then, the child has to survive for at least 14-20 years to be able to reproduce, I can certainly understand why people would have wanted to try to ensure fertility + surviving pregnancy, childbirth, and childhood.

[–] leftzero@lemmy.dbzer0.com 4 points 5 hours ago

Archeologists have a very hard time calling a dildo a dildo, no matter how obviously ribbed for the user's pleasure it might be.

[–] rumschlumpel@feddit.org 23 points 12 hours ago* (last edited 12 hours ago) (1 children)

For masturbation, mostly.

Humanity is relatively unique compared to earth's other animals in that the species' females can conceive all year (minus the time when they have their period) without any kind of mating season, and while it's very hard to study this, it doesn't seem like sex is particularly fun in most species, especially for females. This does help humans somewhat with forging long-lasting social bonds, which is definitely something that's core to the human species, but it's by no means the only way that a species can be instinctually inclined to form long-lasting social bonds. So to a hypothetical alien civilization, humans probably seem to spend a lot of energy on sex.

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[–] SolidShake@lemmy.world 16 points 8 hours ago (4 children)

You produce a lot of what people pay for and use. Like why do we produce so much soda?

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[–] morto@piefed.social 14 points 11 hours ago

Now think about how much of human behavior and social transactions are based on sex. Think on how much time people think, directly or indirectly about sex. How many actions are indirectly motivated by sex, from silly things like conversation starters, to terrible things like sexual crimes. All the energy put into fashion, body modifications, sports, and many other activities in indirect sexual motivation. Think about how many feelings of sadness or even depressions are aggravated by, or even originated from, lack of sex. Think about the religious institutions and the changes they did to history by socially reprehending sex. Also think of the historical events indirectly influenced by sex. You could spend the entire day and even a research career on all that, and at some point one would ask what is NOT related to sex in this bizarre human world. It's no wonder asexuals have so much trouble navigating around.

[–] Kolanaki@pawb.social 13 points 11 hours ago* (last edited 11 hours ago) (1 children)

Because there are only 3 things we are "programmed" to do:

  • Eat

  • Fight

  • Fuck

That's why we have so much violence in media, food or imagry of food is everywhwere, and porn is a gigantic industry.

[–] Dojan@pawb.social 13 points 11 hours ago (1 children)
[–] Kolanaki@pawb.social 8 points 11 hours ago* (last edited 11 hours ago) (1 children)

What irritates me about the joke common to the 3 Fs is setting it up to say "fucking" and then saying "mating" when "fornicating" is right there.

So I changed the first one to an E.

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[–] riskable@programming.dev 12 points 12 hours ago (1 children)

Listen: Our endless output of porn is the reason why aliens continue to leave us alone! They don't want to mess up this good thing that just keeps coming.

[–] Lost_My_Mind@lemmy.world 7 points 11 hours ago

And cumming.....and cumming.....and cumming.....

[–] lordnikon@lemmy.world 12 points 8 hours ago

As someone that works with data archival its really hard to keep videos around most media storage would be gone in a few decades.

[–] tlekiteki@lemmy.dbzer0.com 9 points 11 hours ago

Sex is fundamental to what a human is. And its mysterious and fascinatitng. Of course we document in extensively

deep down were just animals programmed to procreate

all that pron does not surprise me

[–] hperrin@lemmy.ca 8 points 9 hours ago

I’m pretty sure any species that reproduces sexually would be considered a bunch of perverts. You ever been around a cat in heat? Fucking perverts.

[–] 9point6@lemmy.world 8 points 12 hours ago

I don't think other civilisations would see it as any different to reality television

It's ultimately just videos of humans doing human things

[–] HazardousBanjo@lemmy.world 7 points 2 hours ago

Humans are intelligent and sexual animals. It makes sense that sex would be commoditified in some fashion.

There's nothing wrong with enjoying sex, and by extension sexually themed things like porn. Just as long as it doesn't become an addiction.

[–] falseWhite@lemmy.world 6 points 12 hours ago* (last edited 12 hours ago) (4 children)

There's more porn than any other form of video. And the porn industry is one of the worst industries. It's abusive and exploitative.

Yet I have never in my life paid for porn. How are they making their money?

[–] 6nk06@sh.itjust.works 14 points 12 hours ago (1 children)

There's more porn than any other form of video

Source?

[–] A_norny_mousse@feddit.org 7 points 12 hours ago

I'd like to know too but I believe they're right.

[–] riskable@programming.dev 7 points 12 hours ago (9 children)

What industry isn't abusive and exploitative these days?

I kept thinking about it and was like, "What about... No. Wait! No, not that one either..."

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[–] Dalacos@lemmy.world 4 points 4 hours ago

An aside: I wonder how much the global population-increase will lower once we get tech like holodecks.

[–] the_q@lemmy.zip 4 points 12 hours ago (3 children)

It's a means of control and money making. You shouldn't be surprised that's pretty much the answer to a lot of big questions.

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[–] 5714@lemmy.dbzer0.com 4 points 11 hours ago

I interpret this as a problem statement, so I can think of a few solutions: We accept the dominance of porn culture and launch a quality offensive for porn, or we recognize a lack of asexual culture and launch a quality offensive for ace culture. Or we all pretend that porn doesn't exist and leave the status quo as it is.

[–] hansolo@lemmy.today 4 points 8 hours ago

Other civilizations? A whole buttload of alien abduction stories center on anal probes and extracting DNA by sexually assaulting people. Many times, with a grey alien in a wig banging a human.

Aliens are horndogs, too!

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