this post was submitted on 11 Dec 2025
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[–] Flickerby@lemmy.zip 105 points 16 hours ago (43 children)

This is just blatantly false, men's rights do vary wildly state by state. I get what this is saying and I agree with the message but presenting a good message behind a lie doesn't make it any less of a lie.

[–] Tartas1995@discuss.tchncs.de 44 points 15 hours ago* (last edited 13 hours ago) (1 children)

I am also very supportive of women's rights but lying is not helpful.

Honestly the point that it tries to make is not the point that it makes either. It could be understood as "let's ban abortion everywhere", and I don't think that is the point that it tries to make.

I am in favor of bodily autonomy and I don't care what the law currently is anywhere, it should be a given.

[–] DomeGuy@lemmy.world 11 points 10 hours ago (4 children)

I am also very supportive of women's rights but lying is not helpful.

Worth knowing: although they attract a lot of anti-feminist losers, the "men's rights" activists are absolutely correct that men do not universally have the same support programs or even legal presumptions that women do. These can vary widely from state to state and even from court to court.

It's not nearly as big an issue as "they want her to die from a miscarriage", but "they presume he's the inferior parent" or "they presume he caused the violence even if he's the one bleeding" are also sexist oppression.

(Comparisons to the anti-woke "all lives matter" bullshit are apt -- men can and should recognize that relatively minor slights and injustices are not nearly as urgent as denying pregnant humans life-saving care!)

[–] Pelicanen@sopuli.xyz 5 points 5 hours ago (1 children)

To be fair, the vast majority of these are societal standards and not rights, they are still absolutely important and we need to do more for equality both for women and for men, but strictly speaking they are not by definition rights.

But I am in agreement with you that I think a lot of why the younger generation are being pulled in the wrong direction is because men, of which I am one, have not done enough to create an environment that addresses issues that primarily affects men in a way that is not based on misogyny.

Don't get me wrong, the alt-right have absolutely tried to exacerbate these issues (either knowingly or unknowingly) and use them for their own gains, but we as a society have also not prioritized emotionally healthy solutions and that has led us to where we are.

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[–] LodeMike@lemmy.today 66 points 22 hours ago (26 children)

Men's rights very much do differ by state but not anywhere near as significant

[–] neatchee@piefed.social 9 points 20 hours ago* (last edited 20 hours ago) (8 children)

You are missing the point. There are no rights exclusive to men that vary by state. The only rights that vary by state for one gender are women's rights.

Things like parental rights don't apply here because those impact both genders (they are zero-sum; a decrease in men's paternal rights implies an increase in women's rights).

Only women have specific rights that ONLY impact women and vary from state to state

[–] IndieGoblin@lemmy.4d2.org 6 points 17 hours ago (6 children)

There are no rights exclusive to men or women. Abortion also affects trans men.

[–] neatchee@piefed.social 6 points 15 hours ago* (last edited 15 hours ago) (3 children)

While you are technically correct, this is very obviously a discussion about reproductive rights, and the historical oppression of women as those who are most commonly impacted by reproductive rights issues. Your point is factual and valid but it is a distraction from the very important conversation being had here.

If this discussion leads to improved protection of reproductive rights, by pointing to the imbalance between traditionally male and traditionally female rights under US law, then trans men will also benefit. As such, the distraction of pointing out that trans men are also impacted therefore it's "not just women" and the implication that we shouldn't be talking about the ongoing oppression of women but rather "uterus havers", works against your own interests.

The people who need to be convinced that reproductive rights need protection, and for whom the "it's imbalanced" argument will be effective, are often even more vehemently opposed to trans issues. Bringing your point up here only serves to further entrench people who might otherwise be swayed to make changes that would benefit trans men. This is called "breaking into jail".

There is a time and a place to have the "trans men are impacted by reproductive rights issues" discussion and this isn't it.

[–] Rekorse@sh.itjust.works 12 points 14 hours ago (1 children)

Maybe make the point in a more direct and less confusing manner then? People are just critiquing the message because its written poorly. Its not even apparent its about reproductive rights until someone else clarifies that.

[–] nieminen@lemmy.world 5 points 13 hours ago (1 children)

I knew immediately that it was about reproductive rights, but that's just because that's been the latest and most consistent snub against women lately.

If this were 40 years ago it would probably be about their ability to get a bank account or credit card without a man.

[–] Jakeroxs@sh.itjust.works 4 points 13 hours ago
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[–] D1re_W0lf@piefed.world 49 points 19 hours ago (6 children)

If a right varies from state to state, it’s not a right, it’s a conditional privilege.

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[–] Kolanaki@pawb.social 20 points 18 hours ago (1 children)

I'd argue they are still rights whether the law is behind it or not. These things are always a moral entitlement; not always a lawful one.

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[–] bear@lemmy.blahaj.zone 43 points 21 hours ago (5 children)

Liability for child and spousal support do vary by state.

Gendered inequity in criminal punishment does vary by state also.

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[–] DarkFuture@lemmy.world 29 points 7 hours ago

Yup.

We live in a country where if I get in the car with my girlfriend on the west coast and drive to the east coast, she gains and loses basic human rights multiple times before we reach our destination and nothing changes for me.

We can't even treat our women with respect. Trash nation. Full stop.

[–] ignirtoq@feddit.online 28 points 22 hours ago (6 children)

Men's rights to what, exactly? There are plenty of rights that affect men that vary state to state. Off the top of my head I can think of firearm rights that vary dramatically state to state. Or are we talking about rights exclusive to men because of different biology between men and women? I feel like other than a vasectomy, I'm not sure what other male-biology-related rights I have. Honestly there's less technology related to reproduction on the male side.

I get the point of the message, that there are rights women should be universally guaranteed that aren't, and I totally agree with that message. But the phrasing seems ambiguous at best.

[–] logicbomb@lemmy.world 22 points 21 hours ago

I am sure that they are speaking of reproductive rights that apply exclusively to men.

The biggest one that I can think of that varies by region are paternal rights. Things like which parent gets custody, child support. I guess you could say that paternal rights in that case simply vary inversely to maternal rights.

I think I recall from the past that in some states, a sperm donor, like for a sperm bank, may be subject to more liability for their children than in other states.

Medically, there's not only vasectomy, but also drugs that cause erections like Viagra, as well as other impotence treatments. I have no idea if any of those vary by state. Prostate treatment would also count. Any treatment that might increase or decrease viable sperm count.

I wouldn't be surprised if there were differences between states about how penile implants or even piercings are treated.

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[–] ArmchairAce1944@discuss.online 24 points 10 hours ago (5 children)

Unless those men are black, Hispanic, or neurodivergent.

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[–] ayyy@sh.itjust.works 19 points 11 hours ago (15 children)

Tell me that when we ban male genital mutilation.

[–] explodicle@sh.itjust.works 10 points 11 hours ago (1 children)

Aha aha aha but wait, it's equally legal in every state, thus making it just fine. /s

[–] Gladaed@feddit.org 4 points 5 hours ago

Would an inconsistent law really be better?

It should be consistently restricted.

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[–] Feathercrown@lemmy.world 13 points 12 hours ago (18 children)

I don't get why people think saying things like "REPEAT THAT OUT LOUD" makes their point better. Let the horror speak for itself, it's plenty capable of doing so.

[–] prole@lemmy.blahaj.zone 11 points 11 hours ago (1 children)

To be fair, given the apparent average reading comprehension of most social media users, it probably does actually make a difference

[–] jjjalljs@ttrpg.network 5 points 10 hours ago (1 children)

Social media users on text platforms are probably above average on reading skills. I'm convinced the average person is only semi literate, and there's a shocking amount of people who can barely read at all.

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[–] KawaiiBitch@lemmy.world 10 points 21 hours ago
[–] inkzombie@lemmy.blahaj.zone 8 points 9 hours ago
[–] DempstersBox@lemmy.world 6 points 1 hour ago* (last edited 1 hour ago)

when i was younger and stupid and in the (glass) closet i was dating the son of a pharmacologist. this man had made millions developing medications. he was fond of me and privately told me i was too funny and smart to be dating boys.

he also said that it was incredibly unlikely that sexism will ever be resolved in the medical field. that the majority of medications i will ever take - even some of which are "for women" - will not be clinically tested on my body.

the problem, he said, was in getting any human clinical trial approved.

to test on a body with a uterus - any body, even elderly patients or those who have been sterilized - was often nigh-impossible, because the concern was that the test patient may, at any point, become pregnant.

once/if the patient became pregnant, the study would not be about "the effects of New Medication on the body."

instead, the trial would fail - the results would be "the effects of New Medication on a developing fetus/pregnant patient."

it was massively easier, he said, to just test without accounting for a uterus.

that's how he phrased it - accounting for a uterus.

at the time, i remember him talking about the ethical implications of testing on a developing fetus; how such testing could theoretically bankrupt a company if a lawsuit was filed. he talked about informed consent and about how long it took for any legislation to be passed about this -

  • that in 1993; the year i was born, it finally became illegal to outright exclude women and minorities from clinical trials.

i remember him shrugging. "that's not to say it doesn't happen," he said. my ears were ringing.

i was thinking about how every time i have been rushed to the ER, the first thing they have asked me is if i am pregnant.

when i broke my wrist at 16 years old - despite never having had sex - they made me wait three hours for the test to come back negative before they gave me pain meds. the possibility of a child haunts my health.

how many people have died on the table because they were waiting for the pregnancy test before treatment.

how many people have died on the table because they were pregnant, and the only thing we care about is the fetus.

it is hard to explain to other people, but it feels like some kind of strange ghost. our entire lives, we are supposed to "save" our bodies for our future partners. but really we are just saving the body for the future child, aren't we? that hovering future-almost that cartwheels around in a miasma. you can't get your tubes tied, what if you change your mind? think of the child you must have, eventually. who cares about you and your actual safety. think about what you could be carrying.

[–] midtsveen@lemmy.wtf 6 points 5 hours ago* (last edited 5 hours ago)

MAGA Be Like: "Men", are supposed to use "women", to make "childred". "trans women" Can't do that, "trans women" bad

[–] CallMeAnAI@lemmy.world 5 points 17 hours ago* (last edited 17 hours ago)

More bullshit, made up divisiveness.

[–] LemmyKnowsBest@lemmy.world 4 points 12 hours ago

Men's rights don't vary state by state, but women's rights do vary state by state. There I said it out loud because I'm talking into my phone.

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