this post was submitted on 10 Dec 2025
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You do not get to turn these powers off, they are always active.

This question was inspired by those toy dinosaur things.

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[–] medicsofanarchy@lemmy.world 49 points 1 day ago (1 children)

"Ha ha ha, let's throw a bucket of water on this nerd!"

"Don't make me wet. You wouldn't like me when I'm wet."

[–] mycodesucks@lemmy.world 9 points 21 hours ago* (last edited 20 hours ago)

Gets bigger but not any heavier or stronger

[–] smuuthbrane@sh.itjust.works 26 points 1 day ago

Fuck you, I'm doing both and glowing harder the bigger I get.

There we go, Halloween sorted.

[–] njm1314@lemmy.world 19 points 23 hours ago

I guess the grow bigger in the water thing because I can't imagine how hard it would be to fall asleep if I'm glowing.

[–] spittingimage@lemmy.world 17 points 1 day ago (1 children)

How bright would I glow? Enough to read by?

[–] TheLeadenSea@sh.itjust.works 17 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Yeah, like a dim yellowish greenish light that you can just about read by

[–] spittingimage@lemmy.world 7 points 1 day ago (2 children)

My eyesight's pretty weak, so I'm not sure that would do it... but on the other hand I could navigate the house at night without bumping my shins on furniture. I think that's enough to sell me on glowing.

[–] KoboldCoterie@pawb.social 13 points 1 day ago (1 children)

You'd have moths flocking to you at night, though, which might be awkward.

[–] spittingimage@lemmy.world 9 points 1 day ago

That would be a definite minus.

[–] Sunsofold@lemmings.world 9 points 1 day ago

It might be harder to navigate. Looking past your own glowing eye sockets could make your eyes adjust to the closer, brighter light and leave you night blind

[–] Tywele@lemmy.dbzer0.com 16 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Do you grow to a maximum size in water? Or do you just keep growing the longer you stay in contact with water? If the latter then I think glowing in the dark is the less inconvenient option.

[–] TheLeadenSea@sh.itjust.works 17 points 1 day ago (3 children)

Yes, to a maximum size about 3 times your regular size.

[–] Tywele@lemmy.dbzer0.com 13 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Then it would still be less inconvenient to glow in the dark since showering would become a real problem.

[–] Obi@sopuli.xyz 12 points 1 day ago (2 children)

It does say slowly, we really need more information about the rates at which you grow and shrink. Still I think the growing in water thing at least seems to have some potential positives whereas glow in the dark is just annoying.

[–] bizarroland@lemmy.world 7 points 1 day ago (2 children)

I imagine guys would do it just so they could have temporarily larger penises.

I know I would.

"Babe, I'mma wreck your holes tonight, let me hop in the bath."

[–] hperrin@lemmy.ca 6 points 1 day ago (2 children)

Would you be able to stay hard when you grow? We haven’t asked enough questions.

[–] TheLeadenSea@sh.itjust.works 3 points 20 hours ago

People with penises get hard because of blood flow to the penis, so I imagine absorbing water might have a similar effect 💀

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[–] sauerkrautsaul@lemmus.org 3 points 1 day ago (1 children)

what the fuck is it with lemmy and "holes" like thats somehow hot or something

like all of these lemmynsfw posts are like "look at my holes" and "what would you do to my holes" and its just girls spreading their ass cheeks open to show.. well, you get it

I just find it kind of a gross way to try to be sexy

[–] bizarroland@lemmy.world 4 points 23 hours ago (1 children)

Well, I was intentionally writing it to be crass. I would never tell a girl that I care about that "I'm gonna wreck her holes" unless the situation explicitly called for it.

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[–] manucode@infosec.pub 2 points 1 day ago

If only your volume increases while your mass stays the same, your density would decrease which might potentially save you from drowning.

[–] otter@lemmy.ca 5 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Does the amount of water affect the rate of growth, or is it a timing thing?

Am I absorbing water like a sponge, where I'd grow much faster in a pool vs. the rain

Or is it a reaction to any prolonged contact with water

[–] TheLeadenSea@sh.itjust.works 3 points 20 hours ago* (last edited 20 hours ago)

It's like a sponge. It takes several hours to get to your maximum size.

[–] saltnotsugar@lemmy.world 2 points 1 day ago

Any super strength? Like 3 times my strength or would I just be big. I could do advertising for a boat salesman or something. “bigger than huge sale this weekend!” And other such methods.

[–] DarkCloud@lemmy.world 16 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (1 children)

I'd need time durations on the size changes... But obviously the size changes.

Other comments indicate you also get heavier, a bath each morning followed by exercise could be interesting with the extra weight.

Also you'd have documentaries made about you. It's a completely novel behavior... And what happens if you soak just a part of your body.... Your penis for instance?

The glowing? Technically you could already do that, genetic scientists have already created glow in the dark pigs, so glowing seems similar. No more hiding in the dark, you're a beacon now. If a mugger or the cops are chasing you... Oh there you are. Not really helpful like being three times taller and heavier because you had a bath would be.

[–] serpineslair@lemmy.world 3 points 23 hours ago

You had me sold on the water growth thingy in paragraph 3.

[–] captainlezbian@lemmy.world 14 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

The second sounds like it has far more room for stupid bullshit, so that one

[–] KittenBiscuits@lemmy.today 10 points 1 day ago

I assume hyper-stretchy clothing isn't a reality yet? Getting caught in a rain storm would be inconvenient. I think I would still go with water growing. I need near complete darkness to sleep. And glowing skin would be hella annoying in a movie theater.

Wait, how do I drink water? Get slightly bigger then shrink back?

[–] JeSuisUnHombre@lemmy.zip 9 points 1 day ago

"You look a little small. Are you drinking enough water?"

[–] MutantTailThing@lemmy.world 9 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Would the insides of my eyelids glow? Cause fuck that if that’s the case.

[–] TheLeadenSea@sh.itjust.works 3 points 20 hours ago

No, only the outside of your body

[–] AbouBenAdhem@lemmy.world 8 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Do you get bigger by absorbing air (thereby increasing your buoyancy) or by absorbing water (with the opposite effect)?

[–] TheLeadenSea@sh.itjust.works 6 points 1 day ago (1 children)
[–] kindred@lemmy.dbzer0.com 8 points 1 day ago

Do I feel bloated when I take on all this water weight?

[–] PixellatedDave@lemmy.world 8 points 1 day ago (3 children)

If I put part of me in say a glass of water then would it just be the part in the glass that slowly grew and how fast and how much.

[–] pipe01@programming.dev 7 points 1 day ago

Like, a cylinder?

[–] hperrin@lemmy.ca 6 points 1 day ago

You’re gonna put your dick in a glass of water, huh?

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[–] juliebean@lemmy.zip 8 points 19 hours ago (1 children)

is this 'glow in the dark' like i'm radioactive and constantly glow a little bit, or is this 'glow in the dark' like i absorb a little bit of light and slowly re-emit it, so if i wait long enough in darkness i'll stop glowing?

[–] TheLeadenSea@sh.itjust.works 5 points 15 hours ago (2 children)

You constantly glow with a dim yellow-green light, just bright enough to read in

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[–] MightyThistle@lemmy.world 7 points 1 day ago (2 children)

I can imagine glowing in the dark would be both a blessing and a curse depending on the circumstances. If you're lost in a cave that could be lifesaving. Trying to sleep in the dark though? That's gonna be tough haha. I think I'd still choose to glow in the dark though so I could fuel sweet rave parties

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[–] hperrin@lemmy.ca 4 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Would these powers be supernatural, or bound by the laws of physics? Like, does glowing require extra calories? And does my electrolyte balance go out of whack when I’m in water?

[–] TheLeadenSea@sh.itjust.works 3 points 20 hours ago (1 children)

Magical. You are perfectly healthy in each case

[–] hperrin@lemmy.ca 3 points 19 hours ago (2 children)

Can I swim faster when I’m huge?

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[–] Randelung@lemmy.world 4 points 11 hours ago (1 children)

Sex would be weird, but probably a good kind. Until it's painful.

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[–] Horta@discuss.tchncs.de 4 points 1 day ago

Glow in the dark for sure.

[–] superduperenigma@lemmy.world 4 points 23 hours ago

"But I'm straight"

"So is spaghetti... Until it gets wet."

"Okay but that's a bad analogy because I just turn ten stories tall when I get wet."

[–] Today@lemmy.world 4 points 1 day ago

I love to swim and the water one sounds really inconvenient. I choose glow! You would never really be afraid of the dark- like your own personal night light. Maybe i could get a job doing those nighttime ghost tours.

[–] superduperpirate@lemmy.world 3 points 1 day ago

Glow in the dark, since i do lap swimming for exercise and the other option would rule that out.

[–] stephen@lazysoci.al 2 points 1 day ago (1 children)

I’m in Virginia. I’ll go for the water one. Get all that Atlantic up in me. Between the microplastics and bioluminescent life- I think that’s the right choice for me.

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