Ask Lemmy

I've always done that with both my parents, but then again I'm Danish. It's a radically different culture. Families are not seen as particularly inherently important here. It's usually not even a meritocratic assessment of the family as a unit - it's an individual one. You might like some people, you might dislike others. Either way, is has almost nothing to do with whether a blood relation exists or not.

"An asshole's an asshole."

Edit: Along similar philosophical lines, there's no particular veneration of age. Age and wisdom might be proportionally related, but one does not guarantee the other. Some people manage only to grow more foolish with age. Precocious children exist.

I'd be very interested in exploring the differences between cultures more with you, assuming you're willing.

My second son calls his mother and I by our first names and has done since he was 5. None of our other kids do that, it is something he decided to do, and has continued. He is now 16

I've never called my parents by their first names, and I've never known someone who did.

I called my grandparents "Grandma and Grandpa [Last Name]". But my aunts and uncles were "Aunt [First Name]" and "Uncle [First Name]". I would say that's pretty standard for the USA.

I mostly call my moms by their first names. I almost never directly refer to them as "mom." When talking about them to people who know them, I refer to them by their names. Basically only call them my mom to people who don't know my parents.

I'm in the US. But I think part of the reason I do that is having multiple moms. OTOH, they are trying to teach our niece to call them grammy and nana and I know my cousins have a similar way of differentiating their moms.

The only one I know personally has a very bad relationship with her mother, so she intentionally keeps a distance.

I know some do it even if they have a great relationship. It feels weird to me because it’s not the norm. Are they making a statement of some kind?

But basically only parents and grandparents are not called by name here. Uncles and aunts only when you’re young.

I've probably done it occasionally, when calling them in a public space shouting 'Daaad' as an adult feels a bit weird. Same with talking about them to a third person, I might use their names rather than say "my mum" the whole time.

But face to face, talking with them? It'd feel pretty weird, too impersonal and distant. If I saw someone else doing it tontjeir parents, I'd probably note it as unusual, but would be shocked.

I call my parents 'Mummy' and 'Daddy' to their face, or 'my mother' and 'my father' to others, unless they specifically ask what their name is. I call my grandmas 'Grandma [name]', and my grandfather by a cultural title. Aunts and uncles I call 'Aunt [name]' to differentiate them. Siblings and cousins I call by their name.

I am from the UK

I only use my parents' first names when trying to get their attention from a distance.

I'm German and switched from Mama/Papa (mom/dad) to their first names sometime in my early teens as did my sister. I couldn't say how exactly it happened—just felt too old to use the former. But that's not universal here; I know people who still use the nicknames in their forties.

particularly Americans, apparantly are on first-name basis with parents... like either because they are very close, or very distant...

American here - I've known a couple of people that used their parents' first names, but it's pretty rare. I'm no/low contact with my father, and I've thought of just using his first name because I don't feel like he deserves to be called "dad," but I've called him dad my whole live and I think it would just feel weird to call him by his first name.

I have called my dad by his first name almost my whole life.

One friend of mine does that. I think it's because his parents weren't very close when he was growing up.

My kiddo calls me by my first name

Stopped using "mom" and "dad" at about the same time as I moved out. Can't really explain exactly why, just seemed like part of growing up amd becoming an independent adult of my own.

/Swede

Europe.

I'm very close with my mom, I call her interchangeably her name or "mom". My friends know her and I speak of her often at work and in general because we hang out a lot, so most people have met her and/or know her well by her actual name.

I am not as close with my dad and call him dad most of the time, unless trying to get his attention - he is very bad at reacting or responding to anything but his name if he isn't listening fully. I mostly spend time with him in family situations, unlike my mom who I consider friend as well as family.

It's not the most common to call your parents by their name here, but it's not super unusual or disrespectful either.

I call my mom, "Gestating progenitor" as an inside joke but anytime I call her by her name she calls it out. Tho, I get it. Worked pretty hard not to get called mom

I would often use both the title and the person's nickname, but never just the name. So, for example, "Papa Mike" but not "Mike" or "Michael". It made more sense for grandparents because I had two of each, but I did it for my parents too.

I'm an American. There definitely are some people who call their parents by their first names, but I have never done so (in a serious manner). I used to have a friend who would call her adopted mother by her first name, but that's the only time I've ever witnessed it personally. If someone were to refer to their parents by first name, I would assume they're very distant.

Even though I've had complicated relationships with both my parents (as they were both abusive), I would never consider calling them by first name. I did so once in a joking manner with my dad many years ago, and his response scared me into never doing that again, lmao. It's strictly "Mom" and "Dad" for them, even if I were to go no-contact in the future

It's different with other family members, though. I similarly call my grandparents "Grandma" or "Grandpa," but I'll say "Grandma [First Name]" for example if I need to clarify whether it's my maternal or paternal grandparent. I've only ever called aunts and uncles by their first names, but I'll also clarify with "Aunt [First Name]" if the person I'm talking to isn't familiar with them by name.

There's definitely some level of respect expected to those of older generations, especially when blood-related, but I'm really against the whole idea. I despise the entire maternal side of my family; like, if I don't like them, then I don't like them. I'm not gonna put up with someone who's a dick just because we're "related."

I do! I have a pretty good relationship with both my parents, but when I was around 9 years old I felt weird calling them by this "special" name unlike everybody else. They don't seem to mind?

My brother does it to my mom specifically in crowds. He picked it as a scout during crowded meetings and it stuck. He’s in his 30s now.

Yeah I do. Mainly it's because my dad was always off working and so my grandparents, or his parents, did most of the work of raising me. And since he was their son, of course they were in the habit of calling him by his name. It stuck.

First name is very rare here in The Netherlands, but these days it is quite common to use the "casual" form of you (je/jij) rather than the polite form (u). That was very different some 70 years ago.

My daughter likes to call me by my first name because she thinks it's hilarious

I had a college friend who did that. Their family seemed pretty chill overall from what I could tell ¯\(ツ)/¯

I don't call anyone by their family relation except my grandparents, everyone else (including my parents) gets called by their name. That said this is absolutely not normal where I live and nobody does it other than me and my immediate-ish family. I think it's because I didn't grow up with, say, mom calling dad "dad" or anything of the sort.

/Middle Eastern

Am American. I have always called my dad by his name (as far as I can remember), but not my mom. I don't know why. On reflecting over the years, I can only theorize that I must have heard my mom calling him by name, but he's not really someone to call out to others by name. So I think I just learned to refer to him by his name and it's always felt 'right' since.

His mother actually got angry at me over it when I was little. It's (unfortunately) the strongest memory I have of that grandmother. It made me feel really bad and confused. I only stopped around her, though. No one else seems to have cared that I call him by his name to this day. He has never commented, and his sister and my mom have only ever seemed bemused by it.

I don't call my parents by their first names. Neither do my siblings.

My kids also use "mom" and "dad", and we also use "mom" or "dad" when referring to each other parent to the kids.

My wife would call her dad by his first name, but only when she was calling him out for being goofy. In response to a dad joke, for example.

Personally, I don't consider it a nickname. More like a title that I've earned. It's like calling someone "doctor". If my kids used my first name, I'd probably give them a raised eyebrow in response.

Chinese

When I play with my kid, he call me by my nickname.平时都喊爸爸

My oldest child is the only one who calls me by my first name. When I adopted her, I told her she didn't have to call me "dad" unless she wanted to. I've heard her refer to me as "dad" when she thinks I'm not in earshot.

No, I find it disrespectful

Yeah i do. My mother told me that when i was young, other moms judged her for it, like it means she is not my mother or some shit. But also she told me, at the public pool, every time a child yelled mom/dad ALL parents had to look to see if it was their child while she could relax until she heard explicitly her name.