this post was submitted on 15 Nov 2025
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I was running through some old Portal 2 quotes in my head and realized that it Cave Johnson were a real person, people would absolutely hate him.

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[–] Pistcow@lemmy.world 52 points 3 days ago (3 children)
[–] MotoAsh@piefed.social 14 points 3 days ago

Jesus with the caviat of who specifically would hate him.

[–] kubofhromoslav@lemmy.world 9 points 3 days ago

People would hate the real time moralising, but would love free wine and would be amazed by his party tricks, like walking on water. That was pretty cool!

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[–] missingno@fedia.io 48 points 3 days ago (1 children)

The entire cast of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia

[–] snooggums@piefed.world 21 points 3 days ago (2 children)

We enjoy watching them because they are horrible people who never really succeed at what they are trying to do. I don't think anyone would want to hang out with them.

[–] themeatbridge@lemmy.world 10 points 3 days ago (3 children)

That was basically the premise of Seinfeld.

[–] Clent@lemmy.dbzer0.com 6 points 3 days ago (4 children)

Seinfeld characters are whimsical. This not true of Its Always Sunny where they are at best, degenerates.

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[–] the_crotch@sh.itjust.works 4 points 2 days ago (2 children)

IASIP was marketed as "Seinfeld on crack"

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[–] Monzcarro@feddit.uk 4 points 2 days ago

Definitely not the main characters, but I'd love to hang out with Artemis.

[–] ryannathans@aussie.zone 47 points 3 days ago (2 children)
[–] moistclump@lemmy.world 11 points 3 days ago

I think Fry would be kind of annoying too.

I know plenty of people like him

[–] aeronmelon@lemmy.world 36 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Besides Cthulhu?

Every trickster god like Loki, Q, Miss Frizzle…

[–] Aeao@lemmy.world 18 points 3 days ago

Don’t forget bugs bunny

[–] magnetosphere@fedia.io 33 points 3 days ago (3 children)

Willy Wonka may not be hated, but he would definitely be vilified. There is no way a candy maker who refused to allow inspectors into his factory would be allowed to sell candy to the general public.

Plus, under the current administration, ICE would break in and forcibly deport (kidnap) all the Ommpa Loompas.

[–] Passerby6497@lemmy.world 34 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Plus, under the current administration, ICE would break in and forcibly deport (kidnap) all the Ommpa Loompas.

Would trump deport them for not being white, save them for being orange, or leave them there because they're already slaves?

[–] magnetosphere@fedia.io 18 points 3 days ago

lol now THAT’S a brainteaser

[–] FreshParsnip@lemmy.ca 6 points 2 days ago

Wonka is arguably guilty of slavery and even if he didn't kill four kids, he at least traumatized four kids. And he laid off all his workers, leading some of them to become impoverished.

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[–] Postmortal_Pop@lemmy.world 27 points 3 days ago (2 children)

Sheogorath from elder scrolls is a fan favorite, but I'd hazard to say no one wants to live in a universe with a cheese obsessed mad god that regularly dicks with humans for fun.

[–] the_crotch@sh.itjust.works 7 points 2 days ago

Sheohorath gets pretty fucking dark.

At that same moment, a young woman nearby commented wistfully to herself, "The sounds of the birds are so beautiful."

Sheogorath silently agreed with her. Mortals could not make the beautiful and inspired calls of birds. Their voices were wretched and mundane. He could not change the nature of mortals, for that was the purview of other Daedric Princes. However, he could give them tools to make beautiful sounds.

Sheogorath took hold of the petulant woman and ripped her asunder. From her tendons he made lutes. From her skull and arm bones he made a drum. From her bones he made flutes. He presented these gifts to the mortals, and thus Music was born.

[–] Sergio@lemmy.world 5 points 3 days ago (1 children)

I can't tell if you're being sarcastic or not.

[–] Postmortal_Pop@lemmy.world 6 points 3 days ago (1 children)

I was genuine, but given the state of the world today I think an unstable deity of madness and whimsy periodically gifting insane relics and literal mental illnesses to people probably wouldn't even be in the top 30.

[–] ThatWeirdGuy1001@lemmy.world 7 points 3 days ago

My biggest problem with someone like Sheogorath is that he can just create a planet sized object at will and there's nothing anyone could do to stop him

[–] Manjushri@piefed.social 24 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago) (3 children)

Amos Burton from The Expanse. Fans love him but he is a deeply damaged, disturbed, violent individual with no sense of right or wrong. At one point in the books, he looks at somebody and thinks he may have to kill them. The idea doesn't bother him. He doesn't get pleasure from it. But they're in his way so he'll do it.

[–] Grumpydaddy@lemmy.world 15 points 3 days ago (2 children)

Amos is self aware though. He knows he was born without a moral compass and allows Naomi, who he knows is good, to give him direction. He trusts that her decisions will keep him from crossing a line that he knows is there but he can't see himself.

[–] Manjushri@piefed.social 8 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago)

True, he latches on to people he thinks are righteous, first Naomi and then Holden, and uses them as his moral compass. But when they are not around, he beats people up and kills then as his go to reaction to a threat and he has no remorse over doing it. As Naomi tells Holden about him, He is a monster. He doesn't want to be a monster, but he is one.

[–] Lorindol@sopuli.xyz 4 points 1 day ago

Yep.

In one of the books he is on Earth without his shipmates and pretty quickly regresses back to sociopathic behaviour.

But he recognizes this and does not welcome it. After killing a stranger just to get access to gear he needs, Amos realizes that he is making the wrong choices and states: "I need to get back to my crew."

He has an understanding of what is good and what is bad. He cannot understand why there are limitations to by which means "good" can be achieved. But he knows these limits do exist and should be respected, therefore he needs Naomi and Holden to lead him.

[–] Tattorack@lemmy.world 8 points 2 days ago (1 children)

What made me like Amos Burton (from the series, still have to read the book) is that he is self aware enough to know this about himself, and intelligent enough to understand it as a shortcoming in many situations.

He's a man where some part of him wants to do good, even be used for good, but doesn't know how. But he recognises good people, and anchors himself to those he believes can use him for good.

That somehow makes him smarter than most people in the series... Or in real life, for that matter.

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[–] Maiq@piefed.social 7 points 3 days ago

Plenty of Amos's IRL already though.

[–] Tier1BuildABear@lemmy.world 17 points 2 days ago (5 children)

Donald J. Trump, the fictional character in Home Alone. Dude gave me the creeps, was looking at the underage Kevin like he was a pacifier

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[–] Lasherz12@lemmy.world 16 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Every sitcom character ever. Also Dora the Explorer

[–] helpImTrappedOnline@lemmy.world 6 points 2 days ago (1 children)

What's wrong with having your adventure buddy randomly stop, stare into space and ask the most obvious questions and act like she got an answer?

[–] ouRKaoS@lemmy.today 4 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Is this how everyone in the marvel universe sees Deadpool?

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[–] FreshParsnip@lemmy.ca 14 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Tony Stark would be controversial. A billionaire weapons dealer who indirectly killed millions of people with his weapons. Then he turns around and decides to be a superhero but continues to cause destruction and inadvertently kill people. A lot of people would think he's only doing heroic acts for the praise.

[–] bamboo@lemmy.blahaj.zone 4 points 1 day ago

In the comics and movies defense, within universe he is controversial and it is a major plot point with the Sokovia Accords / Registration Act to put some guardrails around him. And in terms of character growth, he supports those laws, even though they restrict his autonomy, whereas a younger version of himself wouldn't comply and act as a reckless narcissist.

[–] Lilac@lemmy.zip 13 points 3 days ago (1 children)

People like Cave Johnson? I thought they find him interesting, not a likeable person.

[–] Zonetrooper@lemmy.world 17 points 3 days ago (2 children)

Combination of:

  • People whose only exposure is clips from Portal and think he's just a goof who rants about combustible lemons, not a deeply disturbed person who subjected people to horrific experimentation.
  • People who can't distinguish between other fans saying "I like this person as an interesting, well-portrayed, flawed character" and "I like this person directly as an individual".
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[–] FreshParsnip@lemmy.ca 11 points 2 days ago

Barney Stinson is a creep whose actions border on rape and it was hinted he may have even been involved in human trafficking at one point

[–] newtraditionalists@kbin.melroy.org 10 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Sonic would be soooo annoying.

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[–] Feathercrown@lemmy.world 8 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

Sheldon Cooper. Not sure if people love him as a fictional character either though...

[–] SlurpingPus@lemmy.world 7 points 2 days ago (1 children)

The main characters of ‘Friends’, perhaps excluding Phoebe Buffay. Once you try to figure out their morals, it's baffling how they can be considered even half decent people.

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Do you think Pokémon battles should be illegal, Ash?

No, of course not

Your pikachu is lying in a puddle of its blood.

We provide work for every town. Joy would be out of her nursing job if not for us.

Captain! Jack Sparrow. Fun to watch and wonder how much he plans or if he's just good at improv. But he's routinely sacrificing his crew-members/friends for his own advantage.

[–] gigastasio@sh.itjust.works 5 points 3 days ago
[–] Kolanaki@pawb.social 5 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

Raphaël Ambrosius Costeau. AKA Harry Dubois.

If he was real, at best he'd be kind of pathetic; at worst he's a horribly disturbed, sexist, racist, homophobic drug addicted alcoholic. With a gun.

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