I've heard that's actually pretty common among sex workers
this post was submitted on 25 Jul 2025
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It is, and it’s by far my least favorite part of the job.
Understandable, I too prefer sex over trauma
1 sex for me please
men will force a sex worker to be their therapist before going to therapy
To be fair, my area of expertise is the girlfriend experience, so I understand how venting could be part of that. Still, I find the trauma dumping exhausting.
Wait so the "girlfriend experience" is more than just sex?
God see this is why I never bother to figure out how to find escorts. I don't have time to figure out how it even works
That's the "Escort" part.
At the high end, escorts have to go to events, dress well, be able to hold an interesting conversation, and essentially be in a relationship for a predetermined amount of time. Sometimes sex isn't even part of the equation.
If you think about having a gf, there's a lot more to the relationship than sex. Nonsexual physical intimacy, much less anything emotional is extremely lacking for the average male not in a relationship.
Yeah, see, I'm thinking "order 1 gfe to go" isn't for me.
I've been separated/divorced (for about 2, years) from a relationship where the intimacy was one sided. For 11 years I stayed married cause that was the only girlfriend I had too.
A GFE sounds like it would be a nightmare for the provider. Especially because I don't know how I'd handle it emotionally.
I gotta date real women first. Somehow.
I can't speak to it as I haven't done one but I can get the desire. I never went on a date or had a gf or any sexual experience until I was 25 and it wasn't for lack of trying...paying for it would be a sort of bandaid to the issue of loneliness but I wonder if it decreases the chance of becoming an incel.
It's cheaper.
How about trauma-dumping-less chatter? Just some friendly chatter. Good ol' wholesome interaction. Just chillin together. No trauma, just hanging out. Just a… friendly thing. Wonder if that's common, and how one feels about it
The girlfriend experience is essentially my bread and butter. I genuinely love it. It’s actually one of the main reasons I got into escorting in the first place, the human connection.
Oh, what is the girlfriend experience, exactly? Just… act the part? As a girlfriend? Honestly, as someone who's never been in a relationship, not sure what that would entail. Hanging out? Going to movie theaters? What exactly makes someone a girlfriend vs. a girl friend, a gal pal, a woman friend?
The term “girlfriend experience” basically means it’s not just about sex, it also includes companionship, connection, and emotional closeness. Some escorts don’t offer that at all; they just provide sex without the added personal side of things. The great thing about the girlfriend experience is that it’s totally customizable based on what the client wants. They get to define what it means. For some, it might be traveling together, going on dates, attending events, or just hanging out as friends. For others, it might include passionate nights and a deeper level of intimacy.
Hmmm… interesting. Do you ever end up actually becoming close to someone? Does it ever become something natural, like, outside of business, or is it always just a "job", so to speak? Like, do you ever become friends with someone, hang out? Not sure my question makes sense
Also, how much is one willing to go? Like, what's the limit, here, in terms of closeness? You mention travelling, going on dates. Is there a point where you're like, "ok, this is enough closeness" or something? Cause I assume this isn't, like, a relationship per se. Like, a romantic one. So something like spending life together is probably out the table, I imagine. Gotta imagine at some point you have to draw a line and remind them, if needed, that you're not in a relationship together.
Honestly, this sounds quite interesting. Minus the sex. Guess I need to find myself a friend. Or a girlfriend. Idk, never quite figured out the difference between those.
Apologies if I say something wrong. I mean no harm. Just curious. You, of course, need not answer anything you don't want to. Be comfortable above all
At this point in my career, I’m established and well-connected enough that I can be picky about who I see. These days, I mostly stick to long-term, regular clients. When you’re seeing someone consistently, of course a connection develops, but I’m a professional, and they respect that, so things never cross the line. A lot of them come to me specifically because they value that kind of professionalism and discretion. As far as boundaries go, I’m pretty flexible emotionally, I don’t really have any hard limits when it comes to closeness or connection. Physically, I do have a few firm boundaries: no girl-on-girl stuff, nothing degrading or humiliating, and things along those lines.
Congrats on your career achievements!
What exactly is the line, if you don't mind me asking? Like, what is the difference between a girlfriend and someone who plays the role of a girlfriend?
Could you end up friends with someone? Like, not in a romantic relationship, but actual friends? I mean, I guess it'd hurt business if you befriend and start hanging out with clients, like, outside the job. I mean, I wouldn't charge friends, but professionally, being your profession, it makes sense. But if it were to develop into a friendship, independent of business…
Also, what exactly is it they value, here? That they can… experience a relationship knowing it's never gonna go past a line? Like, a relationship, but… not really? Not trying to diminish or lessen the relationships you have, of course. Or your line of business
Also, is it common for women to seek such experiences? Or is it mainly men who seek the girlfriend experience? I mean, thinking of the girlfriend experience, specifically. If it is a common thing with women.
For me, the line is clear: no commitment, no off-hours extended interactions, none of the serious features of a relationship. I’m not interested in breaking up families, becoming someone’s partner, or changing anyone’s private life status quo. I provide a service, a fantasy. I’m essentially an entertainer, playing the role of their dream girl. You pay, you get the service. No pay, no service. That’s the boundary, and it’s strictly professional. This also answers your question about friendships or personal relationships. The value for them lies in experiencing their own fantasy. They all know this is a paid service. Their reasons for seeking it vary, some do it out of boredom, others for no-strings-attached fun, some don’t have time for traditional relationships, some are dealing with family or marital issues, and others just want a guaranteed great time. + the discretion. All of my clients are men, and I’m certain this is a female-dominated profession.
Well, a guaranteed great time sounds fun. Assuming a great time is just a wholesome, friendly thing. Not in, like, a sexual manner. But, like, hanging out, having fun. Friendly thing. I'm almost getting interested…
Thanks for your time in answering my questions!
Boy men sound sick! They want companionship, connection, and emotional closeness? Animals!
How long are you obligated to listen to these guys after sex before you can say, "And that's our time."
For as long as they’ve paid for. They pay me thousands $ per hour, I perform flawlessly until the end and provide a quality service. I have a reputation to uphold.
Now I'm curious about the pay, may I ask how much you were able to take as a beginner vs now? :D I have no clue how much prostitutes actually take either, even though it's a perfectly legal job here it's like a parallel world my sheltered ass has no contact with
Edit: You only just joined lemmy?? Welcome to the nerd club!
Everyone's job has its difficulties. What are the difficult parts of sex work for clientele that can afford this?
They should consider raising their hourly rates.
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I have the opposite problem sometimes 😅
I really think there is a market niche that combines your two professions to finally get more men to go to therapy.
NAKED LIFE COACHING
'Lay yourself bare before your therapist!' Gets a whole new meaning (or not for some of your clients ^^")
A whole new meaning to post nut clarity
Or at least a pragmatic use for it. Just need to have a list of questions lined up to rapid-fire before the clarity wears off. Preferably questions that get clouded by horny, like “do you actually like your SO?”
Part my of job as a therapist is referrals and signposting.
Wanna swap contact details so we can refer clients to one another?
It'd be good to have somewhere to send them when they start getting too attached!
Holy. Shit.
That Linked In page would be amazing.
I went to a shrink, to analyze my dreams She said it's lack of sex that's bringing me down I went to a whore, he said my life's a bore So quit my whining 'cause it's bringing her down
This comment gives me the creeps.
It's something unpredictable
Real talk, this is the absolute first thing that popped into my mind reading this thread. Have some cards for therapists in the overnight bag for folks that make her go "This is beyond my expertise as an escort. You want the other profession that leases their time by the hour for human interaction."
"Don't worry, they're cool, just don't try to fuck them, that's a different skillset".
That's pretty much exactly what I do to signpost people, makes sense for other professionals to do the same.
I bet there's other jobs that would join in and make a network!
While the organization itself would probably want to stay out of it (for legal, not moral reasons), I’d bet most of the therapists in the Secular Therapy Project would be open to the idea.
Thank you for candidly answering people's questions. It's been interesting to read through. It also has made very clear to me that, while I wasn't intending on it, escorting would not be a career that my brain could handle and demonstrating that you're profession deserves a hell of a lot more respect.
Yeah this impromptu AMA has been quite an interesting read
You're getting paid big bucks without a license! 🤷
Imagine the insurance companies bringing a lawsuit against the sex workers for practicing medicine without a license and then, in the settlement, sex workers become able to bill insurance.
In Germany sex work has been fully legalised, upside is sex workers now enjoy the protection of police and courts, downside is they have to pay income taxes :D
Oh and the best part is they are legally required to give you a reciept if you ask xD So if you somehow mangage to make your visit job-related you can deduct it from your taxes..
Sir, I have an itemized bill for "hookers and blow with the customer"!
Though it’s a bit different from other professions, as far as I understand. In Germany, the customer is obliged to pay for the service once it is provided, but they have no legal right to demand the service, even after payment.
this is a real bummer
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