this post was submitted on 01 Jul 2025
388 points (98.3% liked)

Lemmy Shitpost

32817 readers
4118 users here now

Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.

Anything and everything goes. Memes, Jokes, Vents and Banter. Though we still have to comply with lemmy.world instance rules. So behave!


Rules:

1. Be Respectful


Refrain from using harmful language pertaining to a protected characteristic: e.g. race, gender, sexuality, disability or religion.

Refrain from being argumentative when responding or commenting to posts/replies. Personal attacks are not welcome here.

...


2. No Illegal Content


Content that violates the law. Any post/comment found to be in breach of common law will be removed and given to the authorities if required.

That means:

-No promoting violence/threats against any individuals

-No CSA content or Revenge Porn

-No sharing private/personal information (Doxxing)

...


3. No Spam


Posting the same post, no matter the intent is against the rules.

-If you have posted content, please refrain from re-posting said content within this community.

-Do not spam posts with intent to harass, annoy, bully, advertise, scam or harm this community.

-No posting Scams/Advertisements/Phishing Links/IP Grabbers

-No Bots, Bots will be banned from the community.

...


4. No Porn/ExplicitContent


-Do not post explicit content. Lemmy.World is not the instance for NSFW content.

-Do not post Gore or Shock Content.

...


5. No Enciting Harassment,Brigading, Doxxing or Witch Hunts


-Do not Brigade other Communities

-No calls to action against other communities/users within Lemmy or outside of Lemmy.

-No Witch Hunts against users/communities.

-No content that harasses members within or outside of the community.

...


6. NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.


-Content that is NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.

-Content that might be distressing should be kept behind NSFW tags.

...

If you see content that is a breach of the rules, please flag and report the comment and a moderator will take action where they can.


Also check out:

Partnered Communities:

1.Memes

2.Lemmy Review

3.Mildly Infuriating

4.Lemmy Be Wholesome

5.No Stupid Questions

6.You Should Know

7.Comedy Heaven

8.Credible Defense

9.Ten Forward

10.LinuxMemes (Linux themed memes)


Reach out to

All communities included on the sidebar are to be made in compliance with the instance rules. Striker

founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
 

Just one more for those who said "Sometimes you just know a Stamets post when you see one" or "Oh don't worry, I'm not going to forget you're gay. I've seen your posts."

top 46 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] lustrate@lemmy.zip 28 points 1 day ago (2 children)

Rainbows on July 1st? How dare you sir; corporate America taught me that those are only allowed when you’re trying to sell branded crap in June.

[–] Stamets@lemmy.world 31 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Too bad. We're here, we're queer, show me your

COCK

[–] hungryphrog@lemmy.blahaj.zone 4 points 18 hours ago* (last edited 18 hours ago) (1 children)
[–] Stamets@lemmy.world 6 points 18 hours ago (1 children)

None of you people are funny and I hate you

collapsed inline media

[–] hungryphrog@lemmy.blahaj.zone 5 points 17 hours ago* (last edited 17 hours ago) (1 children)
[–] Stamets@lemmy.world 6 points 17 hours ago* (last edited 17 hours ago) (1 children)
[–] dandelion@lemmy.blahaj.zone 1 points 11 hours ago

I'm sure a cock champion can be found on Tinder with minimal effort.

[–] Skullgrid@lemmy.world 12 points 1 day ago

Right here? In front of my Canada day?

[–] DickFiasco@sh.itjust.works 14 points 1 day ago (2 children)

He's holding it upside down

[–] Stamets@lemmy.world 13 points 1 day ago (1 children)

I will report it to the shitpost police

[–] diemartin@sh.itjust.works 1 points 13 hours ago

ACAB includes shitpost police 🫶

[–] hedgehogging_the_bed@lemmy.world 3 points 23 hours ago

There's no cord! Without it's curly whirly umbilical cord how will it survive on it's own?

[–] Reygle@lemmy.world 8 points 23 hours ago (1 children)

I'd be interested in a status update as the days go by- how many tubesteaks do you receive

[–] Stamets@lemmy.world 13 points 23 hours ago* (last edited 20 hours ago) (5 children)

Zero so far. Am sad.

Edit: Still zero. You people are awful.

Edit: To the person who sent me a picture of spotted dick pudding, this is all I have to say.

[–] Reygle@lemmy.world 10 points 23 hours ago (2 children)

God damn it people, send this person some trouser salami

[–] Stamets@lemmy.world 9 points 23 hours ago (1 children)
[–] Reygle@lemmy.world 4 points 23 hours ago (1 children)
[–] Stamets@lemmy.world 5 points 23 hours ago (1 children)

That's about 9 days worth of notifications for me.

[–] Reygle@lemmy.world 6 points 23 hours ago (1 children)

oh. MORE WANGS PEOPLE. FLING THE SLING

[–] HowAbt2day@futurology.today 4 points 22 hours ago

Skin flutes in…3…2…1…

[–] dharmacurious@slrpnk.net 5 points 21 hours ago (1 children)
[–] Stamets@lemmy.world 4 points 16 hours ago (1 children)

And that he did.

And do you know what? In payment for that, I'ma out you as one of the only people on Lemmy who has my phone number.

collapsed inline media

[–] dharmacurious@slrpnk.net 2 points 14 hours ago

Stamets publicly acknowledging me? I can feel my Lemmy clout growing!

[–] molten@lemmy.world 3 points 19 hours ago (1 children)

Where is this recording from? I fucking love it.

[–] Stamets@lemmy.world 6 points 19 hours ago* (last edited 19 hours ago) (1 children)

I just made it while on hold begging for money to not be homeless

[–] molten@lemmy.world 5 points 19 hours ago (1 children)

I wish I could pay you for voice acting. You're incredible.

[–] Stamets@lemmy.world 4 points 19 hours ago (1 children)
[–] OmegaMouse@pawb.social 1 points 3 hours ago

I can't help but think of the VA from Danganronpa who recorded some lines about barking

[–] davidagain@lemmy.world 1 points 17 hours ago

....wade in and look you in the eye and say "This. Feels. Right."....

Superb, absolutely superb.

[–] acockworkorange@mander.xyz 1 points 15 hours ago

🍆 The audio was deleted?

[–] brown567@sh.itjust.works 7 points 19 hours ago
[–] AngryCommieKender@lemmy.world 6 points 12 hours ago

Here you are. One ~~un~~solicited Dick Pic.

collapsed inline media

[–] polite_cat@lemmy.world 5 points 18 hours ago (1 children)

thx bro

i'll even post it publicly so all can see my nice cock

collapsed inline media

[–] RBWells@lemmy.world 1 points 11 hours ago

What a nice tail your cock has!

[–] slaacaa@lemmy.world 3 points 3 hours ago* (last edited 3 hours ago)
[–] UltraMagnus0001@lemmy.world 3 points 17 hours ago

THANKS! thanks, I massage it daily

[–] Snowies@lemmy.zip 3 points 12 hours ago (2 children)

Do not send pictures of your body to strangers.

Unless you want to give strangers leverage to social engineer or blackmail you.

[–] pixeltree@lemmy.blahaj.zone 2 points 11 hours ago

Stamets can blackmail me any time tbh

[–] DeathByBigSad@sh.itjust.works 1 points 11 hours ago

Can't blackmail if I just say its a deepfake

taps head

[–] pan0wski@infosec.pub 3 points 22 hours ago

Thanks bro.

[–] Grandwolf319@sh.itjust.works 2 points 18 hours ago

Thanks, been a while since Dionysus told me that

[–] IWantYou@lemmynsfw.com 2 points 16 hours ago

Last time I tried to take a dick pic, I forgot I had autosave to cloud on and despite deleting it after the irrational horny had passed, I was shaken to the core when I saw it when I was browsing the family photo feed.

Anyway, instead of sending you an actual pic of my dick, I spent quite a long while trawling dick pics on duck duck go until I found two that look quite like my actual dick. I'll message you.

[–] GladiusB@lemmy.world 1 points 11 hours ago

The only engineering they will do with me is the Smithsonian

[–] IWantYou@lemmynsfw.com 1 points 18 hours ago* (last edited 18 hours ago)
[–] davidagain@lemmy.world 1 points 18 hours ago

Thanks dude, glad someone appreciates it.