this post was submitted on 28 Jun 2025
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Greentext

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This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.

Be warned:

If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.

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[–] devilish666@lemmy.world 125 points 2 days ago (1 children)
[–] crank0271@lemmy.world 43 points 2 days ago

It's good to swear off the internet first thing on the weekend. Now we can go back to living our lives.

[–] Zetta@mander.xyz 98 points 2 days ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (1 children)

This person is real and legitimately mentally unwell. I found them like seven months ago on Twitter when I used to use it. They would post like all day and talk constantly about how they are the new Jesus, that they love incest, and how elon musk is evil and trump is a god genius.

If I remember right I'm pretty sure they also commented about not taking their meds anymore and said something about being schizophrenic.

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Edit: found one more snip and probably the most concerning one

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[–] errer@lemmy.world 40 points 2 days ago (4 children)

Plot twist: the “sister” is actually just one of his schizo personalities and he’s just jerking off

[–] saimen@feddit.org 33 points 2 days ago

Even though it's often confused schizophrenia is not about having multiple personalties. That's a completely distinct and way much rarer mental disorder. Schizophrenia is mainly about having hallucination (most commonly auditory) and fixed false believes (delusions).

[–] shneancy@lemmy.world 17 points 2 days ago

schizo affective disorders ≠ disassociative identity disorders (previously known as multiple personality disorder)

DID is a much different disorder and doesn't work like that.

[–] Zetta@mander.xyz 0 points 2 days ago (1 children)
[–] Dasus@lemmy.world 19 points 2 days ago (2 children)

I mean, what's the alternative? That this is real? That some girl somewhere, had their brother come into their room with a 23andMe printout and then the sister went, "oh, if we don't share DNA, then suddenly I'm sexually attracted to you, the person I grew up with"?

Anyone who believes in that should perhaps go touch some grass, and I'm using that phrase despite immensely disliking it.

Just informing any of these incest-fetishists; as humans, we really don't have mechanisms to sense DNA, but we do have some built-in biopsychosociological(?) mechanisms for avoiding incest. One of them is when you grow up with someone in your family as if they were your sibling, you think of them as your sibling, and naturally don't want to fuck them, shared DNA or not.

Ofc not everything applies to everyone, but you know, in general.

[–] Zetta@mander.xyz 16 points 2 days ago (1 children)

The alternative is its just a made up fetish story and its not schizophrenic related, either way this person obviously has significant mental health issues and I think an incest fetish is the least of their issues.

[–] Dasus@lemmy.world 3 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

Oh right. I meant what's the alternative to him having imagined it, but I was replying to a specific imagined scenario.

I see

Edit yeah an they're sick af.

Semi related video Harmontown — Incest Porn

[–] altkey@lemmy.dbzer0.com 4 points 2 days ago (1 children)

He could've just raped her, telling her it's alright, 23andMe prooves that etc, but don't tell anyone.

[–] Dasus@lemmy.world 3 points 2 days ago

Yeah, possible. But one would imagine that if you stay in the same house as your parents, there'd need to be something really pressing to make her keep quiet and for the parents not to notice at all.

I know that shit like that happens in the world, sure, but it's not the most probably scenario.

It's just another crazy person online. Why are we even discussing his wank fantasies?

[–] halvar@lemy.lol 81 points 2 days ago (4 children)

downvoted because i dont want anyone else to see this

[–] Track_Shovel@slrpnk.net 112 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Your boos me nothing to me. I've seen what makes you cheer

[–] SARGE@startrek.website 16 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

collapsed inline mediaYour boos me nothing to me. I’ve seen what makes you cheer

Luigi x Toad romcom fanfics are art thank you very much.

[–] Ilovethebomb@sh.itjust.works 10 points 2 days ago

They knew what they were getting into coming here.

[–] Gullible@sh.itjust.works 3 points 21 hours ago

Upvoted because I can’t be the last to hold the burden of reading this. I just fucking can’t, man.

[–] mobotsar@sh.itjust.works 2 points 2 days ago

Shouldn't have commented then

[–] DarrinBrunner@lemmy.world 47 points 2 days ago

That last sentence kills me. "The big, dumb corporation was in our bedroom, holding a gun to our head! They made us bang!"

[–] Scott_of_the_Arctic@lemmy.world 32 points 2 days ago (1 children)
[–] KingJalopy@lemm.ee 16 points 2 days ago

Def. Happens to the worst of us.

[–] peoplebeproblems@midwest.social 25 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Ok, so, obviously fake, because anyone getting 23andMe probably doesn't still live at home with their parents. And if they do they're going to have enough similarities to know they are related somehow. Also why are they fucking when their mom can walk in midorgasm? Parents would know long before a few months pass.

[–] TheLowestStone@lemmy.world 41 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (1 children)

You can also tell it's fake because it's from 4chan.

Yes but I can't figure out the and gay part

[–] festnt@sh.itjust.works 21 points 2 days ago

fake: anon had sex

gay: anon's sister is actually just an imaginary friend and he was just masturbaring (touching a dick, which is gay)

[–] njm1314@lemmy.world 16 points 2 days ago (1 children)

It's amazing how calling the company and double checking wasn't step one.

[–] Track_Shovel@slrpnk.net 11 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

Step 1 fuck your sister
Step 2 Sue 23 and me
Step 3 ???
Step 4 profit?

[–] MHLoppy@fedia.io 15 points 2 days ago (1 children)

An image from 2023 with the quality of one from the '00s lol

[–] jqubed@lemmy.world 7 points 2 days ago

I’m pretty sure I read the same or a similar story years earlier than that, so I’m pretty sure it’s a screenshot of a repost

[–] Wanderer@lemm.ee 12 points 1 day ago

Sounds like 23andme did you a solid.

[–] tux0r@feddit.org 11 points 2 days ago

You can’t deny love!

[–] Imgonnatrythis@sh.itjust.works 6 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Would be great if this was the thing that finally buried that monster of a company

[–] StarvingMartist@sh.itjust.works 6 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Aren't they already shutting down?

[–] echodot@feddit.uk 1 points 1 day ago

No they found a buyer. So now they have all the DNA, yay

[–] brotundspiele@sh.itjust.works 5 points 2 days ago

What would you sue for? Just move to West Virginia with your sister and be happy. Maybe you could sue 23andme to pay for the moving truck.

[–] daggermoon@lemmy.world 1 points 1 day ago

fake and gay

[–] Jedikkeneus@sh.itjust.works 1 points 2 days ago

How would they know he got someone else's results just via one phone call?