this post was submitted on 16 Mar 2025

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Cyberstuck

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A place to post your Cybertruck fails! We're here to make fun of this hunk of shit and throw as much shade as we can to that garbage bag of a human elon.

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The Swastidumpster is the Most Reliable Car Ever Made. (pawb.social)

submitted 19 hours ago by ThefuzzyFurryComrade@pawb.social to c/Cyberstuck@lemmy.ca

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[–] Telorand@reddthat.com 134 points 18 hours ago (2 children)

He...he can't help you. He's the nepo baby of people who owned blood mines. He doesn't actually know anything useful. Or care about you.

[–] Kusimulkku@lemm.ee 14 points 7 hours ago* (last edited 7 hours ago) (1 children)

Mentioning this on Twitter might bring it to his attention and since this is bad PR, he might expedite the complaint so that it gets fixed sooner. That's probably the thinking here. I've seen it happen with companies before

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[–] ArchmageAzor@lemmy.world 90 points 17 hours ago (1 children)

Lmao, imagine a car not working because of a software bug. That's just pathetic.

[–] Bytemeister@lemmy.world 23 points 13 hours ago (5 children)

That's... Basically every car made in the last 15 years?

[–] Alwaysnownevernotme@lemmy.world 12 points 12 hours ago (1 children)

My 2017 mini hasn't had anything, even resembling that?

[–] Bytemeister@lemmy.world 6 points 4 hours ago

It's got an ECU, you're 1 computer bug away from being stranded.

[–] faercol@lemmy.blahaj.zone 11 points 8 hours ago (4 children)

The worst bug I had on my car had the onboard computer not starting, and the screen remaining black. It meant I had: no GPS, no music, no backup camera, and no parking sensor.

But apart from that, the car was driving perfectly normal, and all the other features were working as expected.

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[–] JoMiran@lemmy.ml 47 points 18 hours ago (10 children)

Swastidumpster doesn't really flow. We need alternatives for the cyberclunk. Anyone got suggestions?

[–] YurkshireLad@lemmy.ca 45 points 18 hours ago (1 children)

Some people use WankPanzer.

[–] Tramort@programming.dev 14 points 16 hours ago (1 children)

Based on Grimes' tweet maybe the pegwagon?

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[–] tigeruppercut@lemmy.zip 17 points 18 hours ago (1 children)

Cybersuck?

[–] JoMiran@lemmy.ml 16 points 18 hours ago (2 children)

Sorry, I meant names that acknowledge Elon's nazi adoration, like swasticar.

[–] Glitterbomb@lemmy.world 36 points 18 hours ago

Fashcan?

[–] crabigno@lemmy.zip 9 points 17 hours ago

Dorkswagen

[–] TediousTasks@lemmy.world 17 points 15 hours ago

'Deplorean' is my personal fav followed by 'Wankpanzer'

[–] nyan_cat@lemmy.world 14 points 16 hours ago (2 children)

Incel camino

[–] JoMiran@lemmy.ml 7 points 12 hours ago

IncEl Camino

glorious

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[–] Thadden@lemmy.world 6 points 12 hours ago (1 children)

I think SwastiCar works really well

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[–] SlopppyEngineer@lemmy.world 6 points 18 hours ago (1 children)

"Let them drive cake" because the thing looks like a bad slice of cake and we all know where things are headed.

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[–] Honytawk@lemmy.zip 6 points 15 hours ago

SyberSuck

Or SS for short

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[–] arankays@lemmy.ca 26 points 17 hours ago (2 children)

Put it in H!

[–] Chef@sh.itjust.works 9 points 17 hours ago

It’s running low on crab juice.

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[–] Evotech@lemmy.world 25 points 7 hours ago

I love that people think @elonmusk is a valid technical support approach

[–] the_crotch@sh.itjust.works 23 points 5 hours ago (1 children)

That screen is awfully dusty for a car you bought 10 minutes ago

[–] Peter_Arbeitsloser@feddit.org 20 points 4 hours ago (2 children)

Well, it still does have a protective foil on it and very few finger traces in the dust.

[–] the_crotch@sh.itjust.works 14 points 4 hours ago (2 children)

I'd expect the dealership to give it a quick detail before letting the customer drive away, even used car dealerships do that. But I guess when we're talking about Tesla all bets are off.

[–] Bakkoda@sh.itjust.works 7 points 4 hours ago

Haha. Yeah probably not. Look at what they aren't paying for when making these now.

[–] prole@lemmy.blahaj.zone 4 points 2 hours ago (1 children)

I don't think Tesla dealers work on commission (basing this entirely off the comment of a rando on this site without verification), so that would help explain it.

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[–] kyle@lemm.ee 7 points 2 hours ago* (last edited 2 hours ago) (1 children)

Still, the bottom corner of the film is peeling. Could have been sitting on a lot for a long time, but peeling like that after only a few test drives at most?

Edit: I ended up digging into his Twitter page and everything is legit. And I'm baffled.

Selfie:

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SMS conversation with Tesla support (LOL):

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Dropping it off:

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[–] gandalf_der_12te@discuss.tchncs.de 4 points 27 minutes ago

"Your concern is closed."

Ahaha the garbage customer service they sell these days.

[–] ragingdachshund@lemm.ee 20 points 9 hours ago

You just need to seig heil harder, bro

[–] FrChazzz@lemm.ee 16 points 8 hours ago (1 children)

I know it’s fun to hate on the CyberTruck (absolutely has deserved it), but I’d bet money on this being a 12v battery issue, maybe from improper storage? Only reason I say this is that I have a Kia Soul EV and it gave me pretty much the exact same warning the other day and refused to start. Turned out the 12v battery was dead and that causes all kinds of weird stuff to happen to the electrical systems in the car. Especially considering that the entire electrical system of the CT is consolidated into one wiring harness.

Also, knowing Tesla, attempting to jump the 12v would probably void a warranty.

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[–] OmegaMan@lemmings.world 13 points 2 hours ago

21 miles and screen absolutely covered in dust. These things must be sitting for ages and not selling. Not even a wipe down from the Tesla store.

[–] PanArab@lemm.ee 11 points 9 hours ago (1 children)

It is definitely a computer. Things just stop working for no obvious reason sometimes.

[–] cows_are_underrated@feddit.org 8 points 8 hours ago (1 children)

Have you tried turning it off and on again?

[–] genuineparts@infosec.pub 13 points 8 hours ago* (last edited 8 hours ago) (5 children)

Literally says on the screen "Exiting and Reentering vehicle might restore operation." I hate the future.

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[–] LodeMike@lemmy.today 7 points 17 hours ago* (last edited 17 hours ago) (2 children)

RIP bozo (the car)

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[–] Aggravationstation@feddit.uk 7 points 4 hours ago (1 children)

Cabin climate control system requires service.

Am I reading that right? Do you need a connection to an external service to turn on the air conditioning?

[–] j0hax@feddit.org 28 points 4 hours ago (1 children)

I would definitely interpret that as in "needs to be serviced at a garage/dealer."

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[–] barneypiccolo@lemm.ee 6 points 3 hours ago

Oh well, it sucks to be you, a Muskrat dick-sucker.

[–] prole@lemmy.blahaj.zone 5 points 2 hours ago (1 children)

Oops, did they accidentally do the remote self-destruction on a vehicle that was already sold?

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