this post was submitted on 06 Jun 2025
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Lemmy Shitpost

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[–] iii@mander.xyz 210 points 17 hours ago* (last edited 17 hours ago) (5 children)

The classic "OK boomer" still gets them angry, if that's what you're after

[–] Windex007@lemmy.world 60 points 15 hours ago (7 children)

This is right, where every other comment in this thread is wrong.

Don't take the bait.

Even just a flat OK is better than taking the bait. Honestly, silence is better.

Do you care? Then you are poor and mad.

[–] captainlezbian@lemmy.world 14 points 12 hours ago

Ah unimpressed ok is probably the best response.

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[–] Lupus@feddit.org 98 points 16 hours ago (1 children)

"Interesting, may I see?" And when they hold their wrist up to you, inspect it closely, then lick it, make some faces like a wine connoisseur, shake your head and say :"It's fake" turn around and disengage.

[–] dwindling7373@feddit.it 82 points 17 hours ago (2 children)
[–] Kusimulkku@lemm.ee 12 points 15 hours ago

A power move when you know they know you have a car and it's literally parked right outside

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[–] Kusimulkku@lemm.ee 77 points 17 hours ago (2 children)
[–] agent_nycto@lemmy.world 76 points 15 hours ago (1 children)

Heh, amateur hour. Let me show you my watch.

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[–] FireIced@lemmy.super.ynh.fr 14 points 13 hours ago

The 3rd feature really convinced me

[–] ArbitraryValue@sh.itjust.works 67 points 14 hours ago* (last edited 14 hours ago) (1 children)

Serious answer:

That's cool. What makes it special?

Sometimes people talk about how expensive something they own is simply because they're proud that they could afford it and even when they're being tone-deaf, there's no benefit to getting offended when you could just move the conversation along instead. (Although you might have to listen to them talk about watches.) If they were trying to brag, now they're stuck trying to explain why the watch is actually worth what they paid and you're the one judging them.

Cars (and watches) aren't so expensive that a middle-class person can't plausibly already own the one he would buy even if money was unlimited. You can act like that's true about you. My status-conscious former mother in law was bothered by the fact that I owned an old car, but when she would bring it up I would just say "I really like the 2008 model." She couldn't argue with that.

[–] thermal_shock@lemmy.world 18 points 14 hours ago (2 children)

I feel special when my 6 year old laptop runs circles around your new shit because I know how to maintain it and don't install every fucking app I find.

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[–] Theprogressivist@lemmy.world 61 points 17 hours ago (1 children)

"Well, the jerk store called, and they're running out of you!"

[–] blinfabian@feddit.nl 25 points 17 hours ago (1 children)

"What's the difference? You're their all-time bestseller!"

[–] Theprogressivist@lemmy.world 18 points 17 hours ago (1 children)

"Oh yeah?! Well... I slept with your wife!"

[–] aesthelete@lemmy.world 56 points 12 hours ago (2 children)

Sounds like you got ripped off

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[–] Console_Modder@sh.itjust.works 47 points 17 hours ago (1 children)

You see this? This is called a "smart phone." Not only will this tell me the time like your watch, but it can also do a bunch of other things. I can look at pictures of raccoons wearing silly hats or I can use it to insult someone on the other side of the planet. It also cost a fraction of what your watch cost. I'm sorry to tell you this, but I think it should go and get your money back. It sounds like you've been scammed. As a matter of fact, let me give you my friend's phone number. He's an accountant, and I think he'll be able to help stop you from making stupid purchases in the future.

[–] 6nk06@sh.itjust.works 15 points 14 hours ago

Not only will this tell me the time like your watch

No. A cheap $100 phone is way more reliable than the most expensive Rolex thanks to NTP.

[–] axh@lemmy.world 34 points 15 hours ago* (last edited 15 hours ago) (2 children)

Does 0 to 60 in ONE minute! It's garbage.

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"that's a lot of money for such an ugly watch."

[–] moonlight@fedia.io 33 points 17 hours ago (4 children)

And it tells the same time as a $5 Casio, but it's heavy and gaudy. I guess money can't buy taste.

[–] NaibofTabr@infosec.pub 24 points 16 hours ago (2 children)

And it tells the same time as a $5 Casio

Assuming the fancy watch is mechanical, your $5 Casio keeps better time with a quartz chip.

If it's not mechanical then it's basically the same device with an expensive shell.

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[–] Taleya@aussie.zone 31 points 7 hours ago (1 children)

"So?"

That's the response you want. Complete andutter boredom. You don't care. Their entire personality is built around a weird little status structure and if you don't buy into their hallucination they lose their everloving minds

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[–] umbraroze@piefed.social 26 points 14 hours ago

"I don't have the habit of looking at other people's watches. Thanks for pointing it out, I guess, I might have otherwise missed that detail entirely."

(Biz-bro mind cannot comprehend this)

[–] Soleos@lemmy.world 26 points 14 hours ago

The statement is to set them apart from from you and to display power. So you could go with something like,

"Shit, they still make you buy your uniform when you rich eh. Some things never change."

But more elegantly. Reassert that they are subject to others' power/approval and relate to them to assert that they're no different from you.

[–] Zenith@lemm.ee 24 points 12 hours ago (1 children)
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[–] EndOfLine@lemmy.world 23 points 12 hours ago (1 children)

"People with true value don’t need trinkets to convince others of their worth."

"Not everybody knows how to make the best use of their resources."

"Unless it has a button that stops time, you paid too much."

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[–] Gradually_Adjusting@lemmy.world 19 points 17 hours ago

You paid that much for a watch that looks like you steal from your grandad?

[–] pineapplelover@lemm.ee 19 points 11 hours ago (1 children)

See this casio watch? Still more accurate than whatever the fuck watch you have

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[–] aliceblossom@lemmy.world 18 points 14 hours ago

"Wow, you're really shit at bargaining. They really took you for a ride!"

[–] UnderpantsWeevil@lemmy.world 16 points 17 hours ago

laughs gently and sighs

"This is a six ounce cup of bath water from a YouTube influencer..."

[–] the_riviera_kid@lemmy.world 15 points 17 hours ago

"It's not my fault you're stupid"

[–] Gorge@lemm.ee 15 points 11 hours ago

"Nice, but I kinda prefer the newer model from the spring catalogue. The subtle off-white coloring. The tasteful thickness of it. Oh my God, it even has a watermark."

[–] Clepsydrae@lemmy.world 14 points 6 hours ago* (last edited 6 hours ago)

Look of confusion "Does...does that make you happy?"

-or-

"Was it worth it?"

[–] funkless_eck@sh.itjust.works 13 points 9 hours ago

"what?"

"I'm sorry I didn't catch that"

"one more time?"

"ok. thanks for letting me know."

[–] brown567@sh.itjust.works 13 points 9 hours ago

"It's certainly a nice looking piece of jewelry"

[–] chuckleslord@lemmy.world 13 points 9 hours ago

"So, you're both rich and stupid"

[–] Ilovemyirishtemper@lemmy.world 11 points 10 hours ago

“Common sense is a flower that does not grow in everyone’s garden”

[–] bluesheep@lemm.ee 11 points 15 hours ago (1 children)
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[–] match@pawb.social 11 points 13 hours ago

"I wouldn't want to paint a target on my back like that. Did you hear about Chesterwick's son getting kidnapped while backpacking in Burma?"

[–] count_dongulus@lemmy.world 11 points 10 hours ago

Sorry I'm not into bracelets

[–] Swedneck@discuss.tchncs.de 10 points 16 hours ago* (last edited 16 hours ago)

"mine was 5 bucks at goodwill, sounds like you got scammed, sorry"

[–] toomanypancakes@lemmy.world 10 points 17 hours ago

I'd just start laughing and point at them.

[–] eager_eagle@lemmy.world 10 points 17 hours ago

good, maybe you can sell it to buy some human decency then

[–] CherryBullets@lemmy.ca 10 points 5 hours ago

A classic that always makes people like this angry is the good ole, "Anyways, [Something you are casually going to do today or did yesterday]- " and a hand wave to dismiss the statement.

It infuriates them lol

[–] sad_detective_man@leminal.space 10 points 15 hours ago (3 children)

get really really enthusiastically interested in the watch. ask for details seem super impressed. massage that wealthy ego to the point of basically a blow job. but then just like keep going. see how long you can keep the topic on that one specific watch. don't ever let him talk about anything that the watch means or about the dynamic he tried to establish.

optionally, loose interest and leave without ever having let anything be said that wasn't about the watch. this is how you weaponize autism against egotists.

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