I don't think I wanna know
this post was submitted on 12 Mar 2025
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Ceasefire Violation?
He died doing what he loved!
Silently hunted down by a mysterious lone wolf.
The fucking Russians, of course.
The US actually does invade, and I die in some kind of defensive gambit where they take more casualties than us.
Unfortunately, that's a vibe killer now, because it doesn't feel totally impossible and we still like each other. Sorry.
A detective stands over my lifeless body, Detective Salvitore is panting for air, desperate to catch up to her partner and mount the hill. She reaches the crest covered in sweat, vision blurring but enthused at the grim sight before Detective Glassgow.
Salvitore fumbles for her radio, wheezing a shaky "We... we... I... found-" before Glassgow cuts her off.
"Save it Sal, I already told them we found the vegan."
Raptured by the One True Dog
Furiously stroking my willy.
Oh, no…
Whatever it is, it's going to be the subject of several YouTube documentaries.
I'll leave it to you, reader, to guess the "where" it is cast
Guess I run into traffic, yelling and waving at the taxi that just deliberately passed me by. Then I get hit by a truck.
Boiled alive
I'm already gone...
Wrong place wrong time during a controlled demolition
Derogatory slur
Idk, i wouldn't see it coming
exit 0
Yes, please. 52 years old, and dying after one super night.
Dunno
You wouldn't understand
Ouch...
Well... I can tell you who didn't do it.
Mine's pretty open-ended.
I'm going to go with gassing in a concentration camp for opposing the fascists.
History repeats itself.
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It will be a hell of a party!
A very large child does something in such a way that I would die.
Burned at the stake, hanged, crushed, or drowned. Plenty of options.
Well, I'd guess I'd go out the way I'd always knew I would; mauled while getting blown by a bear 🤤
Hey, somebody left some perfectly good Swiss on this block of wood. How convenient, don’t mind if I d….*
Not sure how I die, but I guess I’m coming back to life after …
At least I would know what was coming, three would come before me.
I choke to death while alone, try to self heimlich and fail. My body is found half eaten by my cats with my cold, dead hand still clutching the offending cheese toastie.
Jaywalking.
Too many pineapples
Sleeping with the fishes
In a squeezer
Too much taco bell
Nihilistic fruit
hmmm...
Self Explanatory actually.
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