this post was submitted on 12 Mar 2025
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[–] TheWeirdestCunt@lemm.ee 31 points 10 hours ago (1 children)

I don't think I wanna know

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[–] PeaceNBullets@lemm.ee 25 points 10 hours ago

Ceasefire Violation?

[–] the_dopamine_fiend@lemmy.world 23 points 10 hours ago

He died doing what he loved!

[–] squirrel@discuss.tchncs.de 18 points 10 hours ago (1 children)

Starving, because I couldn't remember where I hid my nuts.

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[–] AnonomousWolf@lemm.ee 16 points 10 hours ago

Silently hunted down by a mysterious lone wolf.

[–] ivanafterall@lemmy.world 15 points 10 hours ago

The fucking Russians, of course.

[–] Whorehoarder@lemmynsfw.com 15 points 10 hours ago (3 children)

Either heart goes out during orgy, or torn to shreds by an uprising

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[–] AGuyAcrossTheInternet@fedia.io 13 points 10 hours ago (1 children)

Inviting my Farmville girlfriend over.

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[–] CanadaPlus@lemmy.sdf.org 13 points 8 hours ago* (last edited 8 hours ago)

The US actually does invade, and I die in some kind of defensive gambit where they take more casualties than us.

Unfortunately, that's a vibe killer now, because it doesn't feel totally impossible and we still like each other. Sorry.

[–] inb4_FoundTheVegan@lemmy.world 12 points 9 hours ago* (last edited 8 hours ago)

A detective stands over my lifeless body, Detective Salvitore is panting for air, desperate to catch up to her partner and mount the hill. She reaches the crest covered in sweat, vision blurring but enthused at the grim sight before Detective Glassgow.

Salvitore fumbles for her radio, wheezing a shaky "We... we... I... found-" before Glassgow cuts her off.

"Save it Sal, I already told them we found the vegan."

[–] PugJesus@lemmy.world 12 points 9 hours ago* (last edited 9 hours ago)

Raptured by the One True Dog

[–] RamblingPanda@lemmynsfw.com 11 points 8 hours ago (1 children)

Jesus Christ, that'll be gruesome...

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[–] RagingHungryPanda@lemm.ee 10 points 5 hours ago (1 children)
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[–] WilhelmStroker@lemmy.world 10 points 9 hours ago

Furiously stroking my willy.

[–] Agent_Orange@lemm.ee 9 points 4 hours ago
[–] bizarroland@fedia.io 9 points 6 hours ago

Whatever it is, it's going to be the subject of several YouTube documentaries.

[–] ICastFist@programming.dev 9 points 9 hours ago

I'll leave it to you, reader, to guess the "where" it is cast

[–] taxiiiii@lemmy.world 9 points 5 hours ago

Guess I run into traffic, yelling and waving at the taxi that just deliberately passed me by. Then I get hit by a truck.

[–] Stovetop@lemmy.world 9 points 10 hours ago

Boiled alive

[–] Kissaki@feddit.org 9 points 6 hours ago (1 children)
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[–] gon@lemm.ee 9 points 9 hours ago

I'm already gone...

[–] teardownthewalls@lemm.ee 9 points 9 hours ago

Wrong place wrong time during a controlled demolition

[–] Riskyword@lemmy.world 9 points 8 hours ago

Derogatory slur

[–] nimble@lemmy.blahaj.zone 8 points 10 hours ago

Idk, i wouldn't see it coming

[–] dotslashme@infosec.pub 7 points 9 hours ago
[–] themeatbridge@lemmy.world 7 points 8 hours ago (1 children)
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[–] supernight52@lemmy.world 7 points 9 hours ago

Yes, please. 52 years old, and dying after one super night.

[–] thisisbutaname@discuss.tchncs.de 7 points 10 hours ago
[–] TranslateErr0r@lemmy.world 7 points 5 hours ago

You wouldn't understand

[–] deepfriedchril@lemmy.world 7 points 9 hours ago
[–] NotAnotherLemmyUser@lemmy.world 7 points 8 hours ago

Well... I can tell you who didn't do it.

[–] DarkFuture@lemmy.world 7 points 6 hours ago (1 children)

Mine's pretty open-ended.

I'm going to go with gassing in a concentration camp for opposing the fascists.

History repeats itself.

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[–] vodkasolution@feddit.it 6 points 7 hours ago

It will be a hell of a party!

[–] ookiiBoy@lemmy.blahaj.zone 6 points 6 hours ago

A very large child does something in such a way that I would die.

[–] Wytch@lemmy.zip 6 points 9 hours ago

Burned at the stake, hanged, crushed, or drowned. Plenty of options.

[–] BJ_and_the_bear@lemm.ee 6 points 10 hours ago

Well, I'd guess I'd go out the way I'd always knew I would; mauled while getting blown by a bear 🤤

[–] missingno@fedia.io 6 points 9 hours ago (1 children)

Error caused by an invalid pointer

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[–] achance4cheese@sh.itjust.works 6 points 6 hours ago

Hey, somebody left some perfectly good Swiss on this block of wood. How convenient, don’t mind if I d….*

[–] Resurectra@lemm.ee 6 points 4 hours ago

Not sure how I die, but I guess I’m coming back to life after …

[–] Fourth@mander.xyz 6 points 6 hours ago

At least I would know what was coming, three would come before me.

[–] CheeseToastie@lazysoci.al 6 points 6 hours ago

I choke to death while alone, try to self heimlich and fail. My body is found half eaten by my cats with my cold, dead hand still clutching the offending cheese toastie.

[–] miss_demeanour@lemmy.dbzer0.com 6 points 9 hours ago

Jaywalking.

[–] Skyrmir@lemmy.world 6 points 6 hours ago (2 children)

Thor dropping a mountain on my head.

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[–] pineapplelover@lemm.ee 6 points 5 hours ago

Too many pineapples

[–] Mobster@feddit.uk 6 points 5 hours ago

Sleeping with the fishes

[–] Squeezer@lemmy.world 6 points 8 hours ago

In a squeezer

[–] jewbacca117@lemmy.world 6 points 9 hours ago

Too much taco bell

[–] ExistentialKiwi@lemmy.world 6 points 7 hours ago

Nihilistic fruit

[–] notsure@fedia.io 6 points 6 hours ago
[–] Adderbox76@lemmy.ca 6 points 4 hours ago

Self Explanatory actually.

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