this post was submitted on 12 Mar 2025
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[–] TheWeirdestCunt@lemm.ee 28 points 5 hours ago (1 children)

I don't think I wanna know

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[–] PeaceNBullets@lemm.ee 24 points 5 hours ago

Ceasefire Violation?

[–] the_dopamine_fiend@lemmy.world 21 points 5 hours ago

He died doing what he loved!

[–] squirrel@discuss.tchncs.de 16 points 5 hours ago (1 children)

Starving, because I couldn't remember where I hid my nuts.

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[–] Whorehoarder@lemmynsfw.com 15 points 5 hours ago (3 children)

Either heart goes out during orgy, or torn to shreds by an uprising

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[–] AnonomousWolf@lemm.ee 15 points 6 hours ago

Silently hunted down by a mysterious lone wolf.

[–] ivanafterall@lemmy.world 13 points 5 hours ago

The fucking Russians, of course.

[–] AGuyAcrossTheInternet@fedia.io 12 points 5 hours ago (1 children)

Inviting my Farmville girlfriend over.

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[–] CanadaPlus@lemmy.sdf.org 12 points 4 hours ago* (last edited 3 hours ago)

The US actually does invade, and I die in some kind of defensive gambit where they take more casualties than us.

Unfortunately, that's a vibe killer now, because it doesn't feel totally impossible and we still like each other. Sorry.

[–] RamblingPanda@lemmynsfw.com 11 points 4 hours ago (1 children)

Jesus Christ, that'll be gruesome...

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[–] PugJesus@lemmy.world 11 points 5 hours ago* (last edited 5 hours ago)

Raptured by the One True Dog

[–] WilhelmStroker@lemmy.world 10 points 5 hours ago

Furiously stroking my willy.

[–] inb4_FoundTheVegan@lemmy.world 10 points 4 hours ago* (last edited 4 hours ago)

A detective stands over my lifeless body, Detective Salvitore is panting for air, desperate to catch up to her partner and mount the hill. She reaches the crest covered in sweat, vision blurring but enthused at the grim sight before Detective Glassgow.

Salvitore fumbles for her radio, wheezing a shaky "We... we... I... found-" before Glassgow cuts her off.

"Save it Sal, I already told them we found the vegan."

[–] Stovetop@lemmy.world 9 points 5 hours ago

Boiled alive

[–] gon@lemm.ee 9 points 5 hours ago

I'm already gone...

[–] Riskyword@lemmy.world 9 points 4 hours ago

Derogatory slur

[–] teardownthewalls@lemm.ee 9 points 4 hours ago

Wrong place wrong time during a controlled demolition

[–] ICastFist@programming.dev 9 points 4 hours ago

I'll leave it to you, reader, to guess the "where" it is cast

[–] bizarroland@fedia.io 9 points 2 hours ago

Whatever it is, it's going to be the subject of several YouTube documentaries.

[–] nimble@lemmy.blahaj.zone 8 points 5 hours ago

Idk, i wouldn't see it coming

[–] dotslashme@infosec.pub 7 points 4 hours ago
[–] themeatbridge@lemmy.world 7 points 4 hours ago

Bridge collapse

[–] NotAnotherLemmyUser@lemmy.world 7 points 3 hours ago

Well... I can tell you who didn't do it.

[–] supernight52@lemmy.world 7 points 5 hours ago

Yes, please. 52 years old, and dying after one super night.

[–] deepfriedchril@lemmy.world 7 points 4 hours ago
[–] DarkFuture@lemmy.world 7 points 2 hours ago (1 children)

Mine's pretty open-ended.

I'm going to go with gassing in a concentration camp for opposing the fascists.

History repeats itself.

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[–] vodkasolution@feddit.it 6 points 3 hours ago

It will be a hell of a party!

[–] Kissaki@feddit.org 6 points 1 hour ago

By Japanese sword thrust

[–] Squeezer@lemmy.world 6 points 4 hours ago

In a squeezer

[–] achance4cheese@sh.itjust.works 6 points 2 hours ago

Hey, somebody left some perfectly good Swiss on this block of wood. How convenient, don’t mind if I d….*

[–] Wytch@lemmy.zip 6 points 4 hours ago

Burned at the stake, hanged, crushed, or drowned. Plenty of options.

[–] Skyrmir@lemmy.world 6 points 2 hours ago (2 children)

Thor dropping a mountain on my head.

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[–] Fourth@mander.xyz 6 points 2 hours ago

At least I would know what was coming, three would come before me.

[–] ExistentialKiwi@lemmy.world 6 points 2 hours ago

Nihilistic fruit

[–] BJ_and_the_bear@lemm.ee 6 points 5 hours ago

Well, I'd guess I'd go out the way I'd always knew I would; mauled while getting blown by a bear 🤤

[–] miss_demeanour@lemmy.dbzer0.com 6 points 5 hours ago

Jaywalking.

[–] systemglitch@lemmy.world 5 points 2 hours ago (2 children)
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[–] ookiiBoy@lemmy.blahaj.zone 5 points 1 hour ago

A very large child does something in such a way that I would die.

[–] cattywampas@lemm.ee 5 points 5 hours ago

Some catty wampas, likely.

[–] jewbacca117@lemmy.world 5 points 5 hours ago

Too much taco bell

[–] taxiiiii@lemmy.world 5 points 1 hour ago

Guess I run into traffic, yelling and waving at the taxi that just deliberately passed me by. Then I get hit by a truck.

[–] Cordyceps_cereal@lemmynsfw.com 5 points 2 hours ago

Mind control cereal

[–] missingno@fedia.io 5 points 5 hours ago (1 children)

Error caused by an invalid pointer

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[–] RBWells@lemmy.world 5 points 4 hours ago

Oh, no, Timmy fell down the well again!

Chopped into several large pieces. But it will be awesome.

[–] SpaceRanger13@lemm.ee 5 points 5 hours ago

A daring suicide rescue mission where I manually hold the button on some space nuke to save the day.

[–] MimicJar@lemmy.world 5 points 2 hours ago (1 children)

My character makes a sandwich. I reach for the peanut butter...

[–] azulavoir@sh.itjust.works 5 points 2 hours ago

Well I'm named for a fictional character I wrote about. so presumably she comes to life and for some reason tries to kill me

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