Banger post. Deaf community goes hard
this post was submitted on 10 May 2025
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Sorry, can't hear you over my massive dong.
Gosh, only thing I can think of is self-repairing telomeres.
Everything else is perfect, might as well live for hundreds of years.
I wouldn't be optimistic, something else may break
Everything else is perfect? You don't have joints?
Just an immortal pile of goo.
Goals.
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My brain, i hate being neurodivergent it'd be so great to just fOCUSSS
It's funny, there's a local TV program where people can anonymously ask adults and kids with various handicaps questions they wouldn't dare ask them directly and "would you rather not have it" is always one of them. The adults always dodge the question by saying that it's not as bad as it seems and so on and then the kids always reply like you did "I would much rather not have any issues!"
The adults: I learned to live with it and now it became part of my identity
The kids: this sucks! everyone's mean to me and the world makes no sense!
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I'd upgrade the depression away from my brain and give myself the ability for hyperfocus at will and to turn off sensory issues. Taking the autism and ADHD away altogether would leave me a different human, idk that almost feels like dying a little bit, or being lobotomized. Wouldn't want to lose a part of my brain that makes me me. But super valid to want to be neurotypical!
Thinking about it, if it counts as an organ, idk if I wouldn't rather change my immune system to stop attacking healthy tissue and get better at attacking viruses instead. Tough choice.
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The only upgrade I want is to be able to control the hyperfocus
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I already have a big cock. So I would choose a bigger cock.
Hey, spare some cock for us too!
Hmm i think i worded that wrong...
Having a bigger dick is overrated. Great for fantasy, but very impractical.
I'd upgrade my lungs to be better filters and oxygenate my blood. My immune system to fight diseases my efficiently (turn it into a scalpel rather than a cluster-nuke). My brain to retain it's learning capabilities well into my later years. Completely overhaul my metabolism so that I won't have to do heavy exercise to get good muscles (really, all that exercise just exists to make one chemical reaction happen).
After that, then, only then, might I consider doing something with my dick. Though perhaps more with my balls, so I can just switch off the reproductive capabilities to ensure safe sex.
It said one organ, you went on a shopping spree haha.
Definitely my spine. There's a reason basically anyone who has worked in the trades for a while has a fucked up back. It would be nice to avoid my impending back problems.
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better brain
with that I can make more money and with that I can just buy new organs
Congrats. You now feel anxiety twice as intensely.
yeah but now I can buy 2x the anxiety meds because of all my money
being smart is overrated, and it actively makes anxiety worse because you can come up with pretty good rationalisations and then be anxious faster
I mean, he didn't say smarter; he said a better brain. I would also love a better brain, which to me would not mean an increase in intelligence. On paper, I'm allegedly well into the gifted territory of the IQ scale, but my developmental and learning disabilities, especially my poor executive functioning, have led to me working fast food...
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Sometimes I wonder if my brain was already donated.
Can I just say “my immune system”? That’d prevent all kinds of diseases and make you cancer proof!
not an organ and having a stronger immune system would kill you
Post didn’t say stronger it said upgrade. And it wouldn’t be an upgrade if it killed me!
I asked the lady with no legs. She said bigger dick.
Can we pick the nature of the upgrade? I want to pee champagne
From now on you're french
Merde!
And you can only pee in the champagne region of France.
Otherwise it’s only called sparkling piss.
Heart failure is one of the biggest killers out there. I think you'd have a better odds of living a long life with some kind of super heart. Your heart is basically just a water pump that has to remain online for 100 years or you die fast.
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Infinite wishes situation : upgrade your brain such that you are sufficiently smart to bio-engineer all the other organs.
Or! OR! Downgrade your brain so you're just dumb enough to feel constant happiness.
Probably brain, responsetime
Who am I kidding, it’s gonna be vibrating dick
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Upgrade my liver, stay drunk for the next 3 years and 9 months.
Isn't that backwards? The liver filters alcohol out of the body. I would think an upgraded liver would sober you up quicker.
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All y'all are picking dick.
But the correct answer is the balls. Need something more durable and with a faster reload time.
Then you want to upgrade your prostate, not balls.
How many times a day do you need to jerk off?!
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I'd upgrade my balls so that they aren't vulnerable when being attacked. That way I can steal Bobby Hill's purse and get away with it.
Sinuses. Those fuckers are overdue for an upgrade. Can you imagine never being congested again?
Brain is the right answer but sinuses are #2.
Transgender Men have joined the chat
Brain is a no-brainer. It's okay as it is, but having an optimal one sounds terrific
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my skin, i think the one organ that protects all the other organs is long overdue for an upgrade
Skeletal structure.
This implies stronger bones and stronger joints. With a stronger framework to hold your muscles, you get a sturdier body.
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