Ask Lemmy

Do something poorly/dangerous in the gym, attach yourself (politely) to the person who comes to help,

Or do something you're passionate about and offer your knowledge to people who are earnestly trying their best but not doing it well (be conscience and ask if they'd like your experience to guide them)

Alternatively go hang out at an old folks home, they'd love your company, they'll regail you with stories from their glory days, and they'll probably talk you up to their family.

Volunteer your time at animal shelters/public service events.

I’ve been approached by a woman exactly one time. We’ve now been married for 21 years.

You seem to be confusing what you want with gender roles. Nobody said that men must make the first move. Many satisfying relationships start because women make the first move. But by consequence of the fact that you want a relationship, it naturally then follows that you'd have to make the first move.

IMO using props is a poor move. Might get your foot in the door, but it'll be obvious that your interest/commitment to the prop is not genuine. People can tell if you're acting, so I would ignore any comment that tells you to imagine and act out a scenario - doubly so if you're using a prop.

The trick is to realize that a cold call almost never works. There is a very low chance that any one person you run into on the street is looking for a relationship, and an even lower chance that they'd be willing to bet on a stranger for that relationship. So you're facing 2 filters that are lowering your chances that any one person you meet would want to get into a relationship with you.

You can't affect the first filter, but you can at least change the second filter - just don't be a stranger. It's easier said than done, but it's possible with concerted effort. To put it bluntly: be amicable and be social. Put yourself in situations where you meet people, and befriend them. And you are by far more likely to run into a potential partner from the people you already know than in a public park. I don't even mean to pretend to be friends - I mean actually be friends. Socializing has a compounding effect where the more you socialize, the more people you get introduced to. That's also important because of the fact that you can't affect the first filter. Clearing the first filter is really a numbers game, to simply know a lot of people.

You'll need to learn to maintain a social circle. Based on what I can tell, you seem to either be an introvert or have social anxiety. And honestly, I understand. I can't say that the process will be easy or that it's fair that extroverts have a leg up in the process, but the unfortunate reality is that society is built upon the assumption that people are social, and you have to play by those rules. The upshot is that more people are willing to be in a relationship than you'd think, and you don't really have to expand your social circle that much or maintain it that well before you come across someone who agrees to be in a relationship with you.

Get a dog, or a child; they’re chick-magnets. Even if not your own. Maybe you could take a nephew/niece/whatever to the playground once a week? Walk the neighbour’s dog for a few blocks? As someone else said, once there’s a prop, they’re not approaching you directly, they’re interacting with a common interest, and that’s a good way to meet people.

As other people have mentioned conversation starters, interesting social props, and such, I have to circle back to your original post. You spoke down of printing it on your shirt. I say, don't print "single and ready to mingle" on it. But something like, "Ask me anything", you'd be surprised. I was an information resource for a big event and they had a half dozen people in shirts that just said Ask me with a big question mark on it. After the week was over I would sometimes wear the shirt and would have lots of people stop me because of it.

What you need, my friend, is a slump buster. Casual sex with a woman you otherwise wouldn’t be interested in. I don’t know if it’s a sixth (or 7th or 8th) sense that women have, but they can tell if you’ve gotten any recently. If you have, it makes you more desirable. Alternatively, a good wank before going out in public, but that’s not nearly as effective. I ended many droughts with a slump buster back in my single days.

If you're a dude and you wanna be approached by regular women and not gold-diggers, you kinda have to be cute. If you're not too handsome you will have to go outside and wait a lot, I guess, even more so if you don't give off "approachable vibes". Or you could do what most men have done since time immemorial: learn a bit about people and what makes them smile and go do that regardless of your fears.

And what is this nonsense about being progressive and "gender roles". Women are scared kittens and the mere possibility of rejection, public or not, wrecks most of their psyches. And men are hornier (else the prostitution market would look very different, lol), so they know they'll be approached eventually, at least in their younger years. You're not battling ideology, you're battling economy! You will have to make a move, unless you're handsome enough that a woman makes a cost-benefit analysis and finds the risk of EMOTIONAL DAMAGE worth the prize. You might be! If so, well, go outside. If not, you're gonna have to be brave and do the unthinkable: talk to women and risk ridicule. Most women are nice, sweet and non-confrontational, at least IME, and if you know the least about women you can tell the bad apples apart easily, so give it a go.

Step #1 - Be attractive.

Step #2 - Be very outgoing.

Step #3 - Be ridiculously charming.

Do this, and you will attract interest from random strangers who see you being wonderful, and want to be involved in whatever you are doing and / or saying.