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A collection of some classic Lemmy memes for your enjoyment
Years ago when I was a late teen and living at my mother's, she was at work as a cashier. She called my one morning and this was the conversation : Mom - do me a favor, go into my bedroom my phone should be on the nightstand. Can you grab it and bring it to me?
Me - you're at work on break right?
Mom - yeah
Me - how are you calling me?
Mom - silence
Mom - nevermind, I have it....
Poor mom. I bet that was peri/meno brain fog. It sucks.
Possible and around right age but I don't know... I've done stupid stuff also and am a man.
Like one night I was overworked and tired and just said I'll buy McDonald's for dinner. I went in drive thru, placed my order, paid, got my change, and it wasn't till I got home that I noticed I never actually got the food...
♥️ this. I ordered a breakfast burrito from a place near me, then drove there to pick it up. I waited, they brought it out, I paid, signed, gave them their tip, took my receipt, and walked out. I was 15 minutes away before I realized I didn't pick up the burrito that was right next to my receipt. That was the entire point of all this!
Yeah, then what's the excuse for a dumbass cis dude like me?
Reminds me of when I was working in construction. I'd keep a pencil behind my ear for marking things. One day I had finished marking things and I went to put my pencil back behind my ear, but there was already a pencil there. Not sure how that happened but lucky for me I have two ears.
What will you do when you find a third pencil
Start stockpiling them on his penisland.
That one is for the buttcrack of any co-worker found bending over too far.
Ouch.
Sounds like you stole your buddy's pen
too much or not enough beans?
let's let you decide!
Give me that plant-based protein.
seeing a post that I assumed was a 3 year old tweet that mentioned Lemmy by name just gave me whiplash
Also, it's a skeet.
It's a skeet/toot/whatever about Lemmy by a user I'm 99% sure I've had a brief exchange with on here.
I've got so much whiplash I'm looking up personal injury lawyers.
It’s a skeet/toot
Honestly, who is picking these words and expecting people to use them seriously? Even avoiding Urban Dictionary (which has its own ideas), “skeet” is a synonym for “spit” in some areas (“Skeet” on dictionary.com, see definition 3.)
Then there’s toot. Fucking toot.
Let me put it this way - when I first explained to a Venezuelan friend that King Tutankhamun is frequently referred to as “King Tut” in English, he wouldn’t stop laughing. Spanish would pronounce “tut” the way English would pronounce “toot.” Just as in English, Spanish also uses that word to mean “fart.” If King Fart can’t get respect, how can anyone expect the word “toot” (and phrases like “tooting at” someone) to be taken seriously?
Lol, I'm a booster of the term sh.it.heads for members of my Lemmy instance of choice [exactly as is, broken link and all], so I feel like I'm the wrong person to ask :p
'Toot' for Mastodon posts makes some sense to me - where 'twitter' and 'tweet' are reminiscent of bird song, 'toot' for a service whose mascot is an ancestor of the elephant fits. 'Trumpet' feels a little longform - a 'toot' captures the short form a bit better. Heck, this follows for the fart interpretation too - quote child me to my father once, "A toot sounds like 'toot toot'. That was 'blaaaarrrrrrrrrgh'"
Skeet? From what I'm reading, it's an unofficial term combining '(blue)sky' and 'tweet', partially for differentiation but I imagine in part because it's hilarious. Official term IIRC is just a post.
Idk man - people just choose terms and whatever is repeated the most frequently eventually becomes standard nomenclature. 🤷♂️
lel
Bluesky themselves would love to discourage their users from calling them "skeets" but that train has left the station. If the hivemind picks a word, you have to roll with it.
I love taking advantage of that whole "where's my phone" panic.
Say we go grab a beer after work. I'll take a picture of your phone when you go to the restroom, and then after you go home, I'll send you a text with the picture of your phone saying "you forgot your phone." People seem to forget they've received that text...on their phone.
Another one i did once was after meeting my gf for lunch, she had school and i had work. We're side-by-side at a red light, so i call her and ask if she knows where she put her phone. And i watched through the window as she proceeded her tear her car to ribbons as she can't find her phone in her car. My giggles are what gave the game away.
I take my phone with me to the restroom. Don't everybody ? Am I weird ?
It's like forgetting you had your glasses on and you went to find your glasses. I've seen people do this.
More than once, I've packed a bowl, only to need search and rescue to locate the suddenly missing lighter. That I'm clutching. In my hand...
I was just thinking older people but yeah, that definitely sounds like a stoner move.
My wife forgot her phone the other day. I text her "hey, I found your phone" and then think a few minutes about why i should find better things to do
Like trying to find the pair of glasses you're currently wearing. Although glasses might be worse, cause eventually I'll realize my phone is already in my hand. Glasses not so much...
I did this some months back. It didn't hit me until I looked at the time, from across the room, to see how close I was getting to needing to leave. It then struck me, I can read the clock from across the room...
The real horror is that the person panics when they can't find their phone. They are just chilling at home, they know the phone is somewhere in the home, they don't need it right now and they don't have to leave anywhere.
The phone will turn up. It's just a gadget, you won't miss it if it's gone for an hour or so.
(I may be jaded from misplacing stuff so frequently)
As someone who has been on an on call rotation plus randomly called for things specifically revolving around things I manage at work for 19 years now, i am jealous of being allowed the sense of freedom from the phone. My wife thinks I'm nuts, but she will never get this feeling... I hope one day to have a better job that isn't working for a place that is open 24/7...
Oof, that's rough..
If it's been 19 years and no change in sight, it seems it's up to you to create the changes you're hoping for.
I did something like this once. I was talking to a buddy I the phone, and freaked out because I couldn’t find my phone to look something up.
I chalk it up to how ubiquitous the device itself is, and how little I use it as an actual phone.
I have done the same but gone to check my calendar to see if i had already booked something that day.
I upvoted because she said Lemmy
I have had a similar scenario. I was in the shower, letting the shower thoughts run. Then i suddenly flinched as I became unsure if I had taken the phone out of my pocket before entering the shower. I slapped my hand instinctively towards my naked leg to feel if my phone was there. Then I instantly realized how stupid I was.
I usually get to the point of opening my flashlight app so I can search for my phone in dark places before I realize
Piper nooooo
I've looked for my glasses while wearing them.
Horrors beyond human comprehension
