Whats_your_reasoning

Sometimes I cry happy tears when I hear kids having a grand old time playing at playgrounds. That sort of pure joy is so far from my grown-up experiences, it’s like my brain can’t process it anymore.

Women definitely can be supportive, deep friends for men. However, it’s really important that we don’t inadvertently perpetuate placing the burden of men’s emotional support entirely on women.

I’m a woman, albeit not one that cares much for gender (or the divisions society creates around it.) I have relationships of all kinds with people across the sex/gender spectrums (I’m pansexual, polyamorous.) The sad truth is that, for a lot of women in hetero relationships, we become the sole emotional support for the men we’re in relationships with. We’re expected to perform emotional labor for them daily, but it isn’t always reciprocated.

Men who have other men they can rely on for emotional support don’t end up putting 100% of their emotional burdens onto their relationship partner, and trust me, that means A LOT. One of the reasons I’m drawn to polyamory is specifically because it leads to a support network - multiple people capable of supporting each other. Having been the one and only “everything” for a partner, back when I was monogamous, was extremely taxing on me. I have my own issues to deal with, and when a man has no one else to turn to besides their partner, the division of emotional labor can easily become a one-way street.

So you are right - there’s no reason women and men can’t be strong friends with each other. But it is crucial that men reach out to each other too, without expecting women to always be the ones to provide emotional support for them.

I wish I had the permissions to install ad blocks on my work laptop. On the plus side, the kids I work with are learning that ads are to be disliked. When an ad interrupts something we’re watching, I go “booo.” Now one of my students does it, too.

At least I can consider it a form of inoculation - gotta teach ‘em young to resist the ever-present ~~brainwashing attempts~~ advertisements.

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*By using our service, you accept our terms and conditions and will be automatically signed up for monthly auto-payments. Terms, conditions, and prices may change at any time without prior notice.

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I know tons of white, US-born people who think it’s okay to throw trash out on the street. They know they aren’t supposed to, they ignore the rules because they think they are above them.

Yeaaaaah, no, that’s a tired, old argument that’s been used by xenophobes at least since Irish and Italian immigrants started coming over (and almost certainly has been used long before that. But I’m not a historian.) Just because people prefer being around those who understand them doesn’t mean they’re “shunning” everyone else.

The entire idea that it’s somehow “wrong” for people to hold onto the way of life they’ve always known is really messed up. Nobody needs to do things the way you do, just because you’re their neighbor. My lifestyle is probably vastly different from yours, and if I were to find a community filled with others like me, that wouldn’t mean we’re “shunning” you or trying to change what you’re doing.

Also don’t forget, integration becomes easier with younger generations. You might think the “old waves” of immigrants integrated “better,” but that’s just what happens when you’re immersed in a culture for a longer period of time. Did the Irish and Italians turn the country into Ireland 2.0 and Italy 2.0? Of course they didn’t. They may develop centers rich in another culture, like “Little Italy” in NYC, but I fail to see what’s wrong with that.

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Yeah, just rub it in, why doncha

I mean, duh? I left the site years ago when it became clear they value making money over making a site I'd want to actually use.

They're digging a hole in their userbase, even if they're making money in the meantime. Just as the kid who tries to dig through the Earth can potentially "succeed" for a while, ending up in a hole several times deeper than they are tall, there will come a time when they look back up and realize they can't get back out of it.

In other words, if Reddit keeps digging, there will come a point where things become untenable. (Although I'm sure those in charge will have their golden parachutes ready to go) the site itself will become so enshittified as to be unrecoverable. There's no long-term plan to get Reddit out of that situation.

Aww, look at Reddit and its cute little shovel, digging their hole deeper and deeper without any real clue what they're doing. Yeah, just a few feet more and you'll dig through the center of the Earth, sweetie! Keep going!

would it kill you to let her continue in the game?

I mean, technically...

I'm so sorry that shit like that is still happening. As an (as-yet undiagnosed) autistic child, I was in the same boat. Bullies use their "strength in numbers" to have a gaggle of friends agree to lie against a lone victim, perhaps one who's already known to struggle with emotional regulation. It's nearly impossible to convince anyone of your innocence when other kids weaponize your weaknesses like that. Maybe you threw a chair against a wall in class one day, and now the school administrators are ready to believe that you'd escalate to actually attacking someone (even though you don't have a history of hurting anyone. Just inanimate objects. Because believe it or not, some of us do have some degree of self-control.)

I've been there, and I know what absolute bullshit is possible for someone like us. I'm livid on your behalf.

Thank you for this.

It's so simple, dumb, and judging from the dopamine hit, exactly where my brain wanted to go.