this post was submitted on 12 Nov 2025
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So... if you don't live your life automatically assuming that every stranger is a threat, you don't waste time and effort with small talk.
I think the total opposite, people who value small talk assume every stranger is someone to value and attempt to connect with, whereas people who frown at or avoid small talk are often the ones assuming some pretty negative things about others
That's pretty unfair to the 10 to 20 % neurodiverses.
I mean, this is a total generalization. I'm ADHD AF and I love small talk. I'm very earnestly never "testing" people, either.
👍
Strictly based on OP, people who value small talk assume every stranger is someone who needs to be assessed as a possible threat, and must "prove that we can get along". They might be someone to value and attempt to connect with, but that is indeterminate until tested. The small talk is the test.
You really don't understand this hooman communication thing, do you?
So let me try to parse this; Your interactions with others is on a purely transactional basis?
Not OP but mine are, anything wrong with it? Communication aims at information exchange, if you wanna say hey just say hey, we don't need to waste away doing empty, false gestures at each other. You want to learn something I know? Happy to help! Vice versa? I hope you also don't mind.
Wanna waste air with saying empty words, devoid of any actual meaning? You'd get the most appropriate version of "Yeah" and a stare urging you to get to the point.
Metadata is data. Skipping small talk is exchanging less information.
Can we not belittle each other, it's such a conversation ender.
I do think there are people who are going to be purely transactional, myself included. I don't know why, maybe it's rooted in insecurity, maybe it's lack of attention span from perpetually being online that's rewired our simulation receptors that don't get anything from trying to discover connections.
The statement in your posted image frames the interaction in question ("small talk") as purely transactional. I am working inside that context. You seem to be drawing "understanding" from some external context which has not been presented here.
My attention and time are not something others should feel entitled to have.