this post was submitted on 27 Dec 2025
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In advance, I was not sure where to post this; OffMyChest, NoStupidQuestions or here. Decided to do it here because it is mainly a question. However, I thought it do be better explaining it a little as well.

When I was younger, I could not really get the luxuries I wanted. Just like many others, my parents did not have heaps of wealth to spend. I did not have it bad, got a roof above my head, education, food and such. Parents would spend on luxuries if they could. My siblings usually bought the more expensive things (Atari, Nintendo, PS1 and PS2 etc). My parents did purchase PS4 and a decent gaming pc for me back in the day. One time my father told me ‘’if you just show that you are seriously studying and if money allows, I will get you anything in luxury. However, money is the boss’’ (money is the boss as in, only if we got enough money to spent for it and not get into financial issues).

Because of that I have learnt to live kind of frugal in terms of money (for myself). I find it hard to spend money on expensive things. It took months to purchase a great gaming PC and a Steam Deck (loving the heck of it though). However, spending money on my parents (mostly my mother) is no issue. I do it without a thinking, as long as I know it makes them happy.

Now, I always wanted a MacBook since I was a teenager. I can afford to get one, I saved up for it and will not have any financial issues. I budget ever since getting my job, everything is already set (saving up for car stuff, emergency funds for both myself and parents, pension saving and even saved up for new glasses for whenever that’s needed). Yet with all of that, I still feel not comfortable paying a lot for something that’s ‘’not necessary’’ and that’s just a ‘’luxury product’’. I feel like the money, I would spent for the MacBook could better be saved towards either emergency funds or car stuff (car theory exam, the car itself etc).

Now, I’m curious if other people deal (or have dealt) with this and what is this called? How to be more at ease with spending for fun instead of always being on edge.

Note: I checked the rules and it said this is not a support community but that seemed more related to tech-stuff. If it was also meant for this kind of question. Apologies, I will ask in another community.

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[–] otp@sh.itjust.works 11 points 3 hours ago (1 children)

I do a lot of budgeting, and I use the "pool" method.

A lot of people recommend the 50-30-20 rule: 50% of your money goes to fixed expenses, 30% goes to discretionary spending, and 20% to savings.

I tweaked that a bit and made it 60-20-30, with the 60% being for essentials...things like clothing is included.

That 20% goes towards any guilt-free spending. I've covered everything I need, and this is money I'm allowed to spend on whatever I want...guilt-free.

[–] MeThisGuy@feddit.nl 2 points 1 hour ago

so you get to spend 110%? that must be awesome!

[–] Ediacarium@feddit.org 5 points 3 hours ago* (last edited 3 hours ago)

With that first and last paragraph, in addition to your question, it sounds like you don't have the confidence to decide this purchase on your own.

Whereas spending money on car stuff, emergency funds or your parents must have been generally approved by whoever you fear consequences from. (looks like your father (or parents?) when you were a child)

You can obv. just go ahead and buy that MacBook, as a form of exposure therapy. Buy it, accept the potential fallout from that action and come out the other side with a MacBook.

If even small luxuries, like a small figurine make you anxious, you could search for something small you like and buy that first and 'work your way up'.

Alternatively you need to do the deep soul searching and process all those emotions around spending and saving money. Which future does your fear try to save you from? What happens to you, or your family, when you spend that money? Why do you budget (emotionally)? Why is spending money on family (luxuries?) ok? When is it not? What does a MacBook represent to you?

[–] Perspectivist@feddit.uk 5 points 3 hours ago

If I need it and it's worth the price then I don't worry about spending money on it. Especially when talking about one time or long term purchases such as a laptop (which as an extremely satisfied MacBook user I highly recommend)

Subscribtion services and meals are the ones I take issue with. I dont want to pay high price for something and then have nothing to show for it. I will not pay 5 euros for a cup of coffee no matter what - it's not worth that to me. With items you technically didn't lose any value - you just traded cash for an object.

[–] Today@lemmy.world 4 points 1 hour ago

I'm the same. We're remodeling a house and when i see the price of an item i do hours and hours of research trying to save a few bucks, which delays everything. We began remodeling Jan 6. Could be done by now if i were less wishy washy.

[–] lepinkainen@lemmy.world 3 points 1 hour ago

MacBooks are easy. Buy it.

Don’t like it? You can easily sell it for 70-80% retail in a year

[–] eezeebee@lemmy.ca 3 points 3 hours ago

I'm the same as you. Even if I want something and can afford it, I will hold back longer than necessary. Sometimes I just don't end up buying the thing, and I'm fine.

It's much easier to justify practical purchases, or just save the money. I think this comes from living with financial struggles and wanting to be prepared.

I don't think there's anything wrong with it, and it may be beneficial to be frugal and picky about your spending. Clearly it's working if your budget is planned and in action. Just remember it's ok to treat yourself once in a while and enjoy it.

[–] LordMayor@piefed.social 2 points 1 hour ago

As far as MacBooks go, it’s easy for me. Every Mac I’ve owned has outlasted Windows/Linux PCs to the point of being the more frugal option if the upfront cost is affordable.

That doesn’t take into account whether you need Windows specific software—mostly games and some technical, industry specific software. Sometimes Wine/Crossover or virtualization is an option.

That said, balance your necessities, your emergency fund, your retirement fund. If those are reasonably covered, you’re in the position for a big spend especially on something durable that also makes life easier.

[–] d00phy@lemmy.world 2 points 1 hour ago

It’s not a bad problem to have, TBH. The thing that stood out to me is what you consider “not necessary.” Other than this, you seem to have figured out a sensible budget, and you’re prioritizing your future self. I have the same thoughts whenever I make a large purchase, and sometimes they win out. Sometimes they don’t. The thing is do you feel like your frugality is keeping you from something, or negatively impacting your life?

[–] HobbitFoot@thelemmy.club 2 points 1 hour ago

First, it is better for you that your natural instinct as you've gotten wealthier is to still maintain your cheap habits. It is better for your finances to spend under your means than over them.

But now, you can start looking into more than just cash flow to justify the,cost. Your time has value now, so you should consider the time value when making financial decisions. You should also look at things like total life cycle cost; a MacBook is generally well built and is on the higher end of life.

I would also start to set financial goals. If you have an idea of what you want financially in your life, it can help you decide if you have the money to splurge on some essentials.

[–] Gladaed@feddit.org 1 points 31 minutes ago

There is no cure to being stingy :(

[–] Rentlar@lemmy.ca 1 points 1 hour ago

How much money is coming in every month (salary + other income)? How much money is going out (bills, food, subscriptions, other recurring expenses)? How much are you putting towards short and long term savings each month?

Once you've set aside those categories, the remainder is what you can spend without worrying about needing to take away from your more essential obligations.

I'm a miser, so I'd think hard about whether I really need a MacBook. If I felt I'd make do with the PCs I had, and wouldn't open the Macbook much then it's not worth, but if it would be my daily driver then it would be. Divide the price by the number of hours you'd use it. And then just spend less discretionally for a couple months until you build up the buffer again.

[–] jubilationtcornpone@sh.itjust.works 1 points 52 minutes ago

I have a VERY comprehensive budget that I do every year. Things often don't go according to plan but they go better than if I didn't have a plan at all. I'm also pretty frugal so I don't like spending money on non-essentials if I don't have to.

However, the thing that I've learned as I've gotten older is that there is a very close relationship between time and money. Now I have more money than time which has required me to shift my thinking a bit.

For instance, around the house I frequently run into projects that I could do with the tools I already have. But, there's an expensive power tool that will either help me do the job better or reduce the time it takes to do the project. If I think the tool will meet either of those criteria and I will use it more than once, I'll usually buy it.

Time is finite. If I can buy some of it back or maximize the value I'm getting from it, it's worth it to me to spend a little money.

[–] I_love_older_women@lemmy.world 1 points 4 hours ago

I’d describe myself as an ethical libertine or hedonist, if that makes sense. If I want something, I buy it because it makes me feel good, and that’s reason enough for me; I never feel guilty about spending money or even about indulgence. At the same time, material things don’t really mean anything to me, and I don’t think they define a person’s worth. For example, I was traveling with a friend once and went into a store while he waited outside. He was approached by a group of bullies, and when I came out, I resolved the situation by giving them my shoes and my watch. I went back to our hotel barefoot and didn’t care at all about what I’d lost, as long as my friend was safe.