this post was submitted on 15 Dec 2025
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Greentext

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This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.

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[–] wesker@lemmy.sdf.org 57 points 23 hours ago (1 children)

Chickens are silly and wonderful.

[–] affenlehrer@feddit.org 28 points 23 hours ago (1 children)
[–] wesker@lemmy.sdf.org 20 points 23 hours ago (3 children)

Ducks are violent rapists.

[–] krooklochurm@lemmy.ca 36 points 22 hours ago (1 children)

They can be silly and wonderful AND violent rapists.

Humans can't. But ducks can.

[–] rockerface@lemmy.cafe 6 points 14 hours ago (1 children)

Just like cats are cute and fluffy and also psychotic serial killers

[–] krooklochurm@lemmy.ca 2 points 14 hours ago (1 children)

I don't know why people are so defensive about the fact that cats enjoy killing things for pleasure. They love seeing things in pain. They love watching them die slowly.

[–] ContriteErudite@lemmy.world 2 points 12 hours ago* (last edited 12 hours ago)

You shouldn't anthropomorphize animal behavior by misinterpreting their instincts for human emotions. Feral and tame cats of all kinds will play with their food to hone hunting skills. Dogs will ravage and eviscerate other animals as play. Hamsters will eat their offspring under circumstances where it would mean the parent has a better chance to survive without them.

Cats do not "love seeing things in pain" for the same reason that dogs don't "love" seeing a toy rabbit torn to shreds: both behaviors are rooted in their hunting instincts. True sadism (hurting or killing another being for no reason other than pleasure) has only been observed in animal groups that also possess higher-ordered cognitive and social traits, such as cetaceans and apes.

[–] 0ops@piefed.zip 17 points 23 hours ago

Tbf, I've seen chickens peck a duck's brains out

[–] affenlehrer@feddit.org 5 points 23 hours ago (1 children)

Have you seen their genitalia? They kind of have to. Besides that I've seen very cute and happy looking duck couples.

[–] ComfortableRaspberry@feddit.org 11 points 22 hours ago (1 children)

Afaik it evolved like that for better raping. At least that's what our biology teacher told us, after we had to watch a video about duck mating.

There are also no real couples. Most of the time several males try to get it on with the same duck and it's not rare that their object of desire drowns because they can't wait their turn. Nature is fucked up.

[–] Wren@lemmy.today 12 points 21 hours ago* (last edited 20 hours ago) (2 children)

Ducks have diverse mating habits, like humans. They don't have to rape, but they will when there's overcrowding, males outcompete females, and/or they live in an urban environment where females lack the strength and space to escape.

Otherwise, most species of ducks form seasonal pair bonds with new mates each year. Some come back to the same mate each year, which isn't quite the same as monogamy since they don't stick together when not fucking and rearing young. A few ducks will mate for life, and a lot of larger waterfowl, like geese and swans, are monogamous.

[–] ComfortableRaspberry@feddit.org 2 points 19 hours ago (1 children)

Thanks for the additional insights!

I knew at least the part about swans. There was a huge pair of swans treating the small town they chose to live in as their personal garden and terrorizing people in traffic (pedestrians but people in cars as well). They were horrible but also treated like a holy cow, nobody was allowed to touch them and the official stance of the town was to let them be. So from time to time there were swan caused traffic jams and children knew to avoid them.

[–] Wren@lemmy.today 1 points 6 hours ago* (last edited 6 hours ago)

I haven't even met them and I love those birds. Reminds me of Canada Gooses, the source of deep respect and utter annoyance as our avian fellow countrymen.

One of my BFFs is an environmental scientist who loves ducks, which means get loaded with duck facts that spill over onto others.

[–] ivanafterall@lemmy.world 1 points 19 hours ago* (last edited 19 hours ago) (1 children)

That must be why geese and swans are so pissy and mean compared to ducks.

[–] Wren@lemmy.today 1 points 11 hours ago

The lack of rape?

[–] TootSweet@lemmy.world 36 points 23 hours ago (2 children)

I used to have chickens in a city when it wasn't legal. They got reported and we had to rehome them. They were fun, though, and having fresh eggs was always great.

[–] blimthepixie@lemmy.dbzer0.com 12 points 17 hours ago (1 children)

What a delight the person who reported you must be

[–] TootSweet@lemmy.world 1 points 2 hours ago

Oh yeah. Next door neighbor. She's been a nightmare. She threw fits demanding we move one of our fences. She systematically sprayed our plants with Round Up every year. The once hired unqualified dumbasses to cut down one of their trees which hit our house on the way down. (They felled it from the bottom "TIMBER" style as if it wasn't a crowded suburban residential neighborhood.)

Yeah, she was a huge pain to live right next to. And then she died and her daughter moved in. And she's just as bad. :\ We just avoid her.

[–] toynbee@lemmy.world 4 points 22 hours ago (1 children)
[–] TootSweet@lemmy.world 2 points 2 hours ago

I don't remember specifically, but we definitely gave them to a family we knew personally, and I'm sure they weren't slaughtered or anything.

[–] BuckenBerry@lemmy.world 31 points 15 hours ago* (last edited 15 hours ago) (1 children)

Fake: Anon goes outside

Gay: Anon likes cocks

[–] altkey@lemmy.dbzer0.com 30 points 21 hours ago (1 children)

not sure if it's legal for them to own chicken

Anon lives in a society.

[–] Dojan@pawb.social 1 points 6 hours ago* (last edited 6 hours ago)

My old principal used to keep chickens, it's from her we bought ours. Met her again many years later, and while catching up I inquired if she was still keeping chickens. Since the big bird flu thing in the 201Xs (I think) she stopped keeping them, because the law changed how you're allowed to keep them, and she felt like while it's obviously good from an epidemiological point of view, it'd reduce their overall quality of life and that just made her really depressed.

I miss having chickens.

We had a cockerel named Papa Stroganoff, he's one of the ones we got from my principal. The reason he was named thus, is because at one point she'd brought home leftover stroganoff from the school lunch, and when she dumped it out for the chickens to eat, he dashed up and sorted out all of the sausage pieces to one side for the hens to eat.

He was such a good rooster.

[–] felixwhynot@lemmy.world 28 points 23 hours ago

Thanks chickens

[–] Damage@feddit.it 23 points 19 hours ago (1 children)
[–] ragebutt@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 points 17 hours ago

My neighbor had chickens and a rooster. It was loud, as expected, but it was lazy and would only start later in the day. In actuality it was probably because it was young and separated from other roosters. It probably eventually would’ve done the morning routine but a fox got them all one day

[–] chemical_cutthroat@lemmy.world 21 points 22 hours ago (2 children)

I moved into a house with roommates who had chickens. It wasn't great. The chickens were cool, but they attract vermin. We had a real rat issue for a while, and they wouldn't believe me that the rats were going after the chicken feed/poop, as well as the warmth of the coop. Then, they got tired of tending to the birds and rehomed them. Sure enough, the rat problem vanished.

[–] zout@fedia.io 4 points 18 hours ago (1 children)

I have chickens, but no rats because I took precautions against rats, foxes, martens and whatever else roams outside. It's not even difficult to do this, just make sure there's no food laying around, and plan for the coop to be vermin proof.

[–] Olhonestjim@lemmy.world 2 points 12 hours ago

Stores that sell chicken supplies often sell vermin resistant metal trash cans with snug fitting lids. Just dump the feed in there.

[–] mnemonicmonkeys@sh.itjust.works 2 points 16 hours ago

Chickens like to eat rats and mice

[–] W3dd1e@lemmy.zip 12 points 21 hours ago
[–] Setiyeti93@lemmy.ca 12 points 19 hours ago* (last edited 19 hours ago)

Behold my emotional support hens

https://lemmy.ca/post/56901397

[–] krooklochurm@lemmy.ca 10 points 22 hours ago (3 children)
[–] fantacyde@lemmy.blahaj.zone 6 points 19 hours ago

Over here. Better reception.

[–] stretch2m@infosec.pub 2 points 19 hours ago (1 children)

It's all fun and games until the rooster wakes you up at 4am.

[–] stretch2m@infosec.pub 3 points 19 hours ago

Edit: sorry, I meant to reply to a different post, but I guess it still works.

[–] mnemonicmonkeys@sh.itjust.works 1 points 16 hours ago

ATHF reference in the wild

[–] elvith@feddit.org 9 points 21 hours ago

Same for me. My neighbors got some. Several other neighbors complained about the noise, but I just smile when I'm sitting here with the windows open and chicken noise in the background.

[–] Trainguyrom@reddthat.com 9 points 11 hours ago

Around mid-2020 I worked at a callcenter. The organization I worked for had lower tiers of support via a callcenter in the Philippines and higher tiers via the stateside callcenter I worked at. When everyone went remote some of the staff at the Philipines callcenter emigrated to other countries and there was one particular member who always had some very noisy chickens in the background of their calls. It seriously reminded me how nice remote work can be for folks because this guy was chilling at home with his chickens nearby instead of in a stuffy office with a bunch of other unhappy underpaid callcenter workers. It was funny though how some customers reacted to it, sometimes it would just be one more thing for angry customers to complain about and other times it would be a wistful thing a customer commented about in a later positive review

[–] Hikermick@lemmy.world 7 points 16 hours ago (1 children)

Back in the 90's before backyard chickens was a thing, I lived in the inner city in a neighborhood populated with lots of Puerto Ricans. Don't know how long it was before I realized I heard roosters on the walk to the bus stop every morning. Now living in the burbs, my neighbors raise chickens, either they get tired of it after a year or their chickens get eaten by the foxes

[–] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 2 points 10 hours ago

my neighbors ate their chickens last year. i miss their eggs.

[–] AeonFelis@lemmy.world 5 points 13 hours ago
[–] echodot@feddit.uk 4 points 21 hours ago

We had chickens growing up, but we had a large farm so they just sort of roamed around. I can't imagine trying to keep them in a back garden of a normal house.

[–] halvar@lemy.lol 4 points 11 hours ago

Then the homeowner's assocition hears about it

[–] TubularTittyFrog@lemmy.world 3 points 14 hours ago

goddamn i want me some chickens.

[–] pruwybn@discuss.tchncs.de 3 points 17 hours ago

Sometimes, on a walk or a bike ride, I'll pass a yard with some chickens and it always makes me happy. There's something to this.

[–] stiffyGlitch@lemmy.world 3 points 12 hours ago

I love chickens

[–] Chivera@lemmy.world 2 points 5 hours ago