this post was submitted on 02 Dec 2025
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No Stupid Questions

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Someone in my street keeps harassing me and my family, and I lost my temper 2 days ago and whacked a bunch of things off a shelf. One of the heavier things ended up falling on my soup bowl and smashed a third of it. That specific soup bowl has been discontinued for many years. The manufacturer did make very similar soup bowls just with a different pattern on them, but they're old and only being sold on places like Ebay. I'm going to take the bowl out of the trash tomorrow and measure it in detail and maybe post it on Facebook to see if anyone has this bowl. I feel like a whole bunch of nice memories have been literally smashed, like that bowl was with me for all that time and I smashed it by accident. That bowl was like a friend and reminded me of a time in my life where I was happy so just ordering some generic soup bowl that isn't extremely similar or the same is going to remind me of what I've lost.

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[–] y0kai@anarchist.nexus 70 points 4 hours ago

absolutely reasonable, and may be a good excuse to learn kintsugi, if you still have the pieces.

[–] Apeman42@lemmy.world 36 points 4 hours ago

If you can find all the pieces, have you heard of kintsugi?

If not, it's a Japanese art of repairing broken ceramics with gold, creating something new and beautiful out of the destruction as the cracks become gold veins running through the piece.

Maybe you could find a craftsman or at least experienced hobbyist in your area who could repair it like that?

[–] Rhynoplaz@lemmy.world 19 points 4 hours ago

I totally understand. It's hard to lose something that means more than it's retail value.

I don't think replacing it would help, even if it's identical, it's not really YOUR soup bowl. The search will just waste more time and energy obsessing over the soup bowl. Maybe keep a chunk of the broken bowl and put it away in a keepsake box. Next time you go digging for memories, it'll still have a positive effect.

[–] Today@lemmy.world 12 points 3 hours ago (1 children)

Sometimes i kiss inanimate objects before i put them in the donation box.

[–] XeroxCool@lemmy.world 3 points 1 hour ago

Thank them for fulfilling a need... And let them go. Their job is done. The task, complete.

[–] TheJesusaurus@sh.itjust.works 10 points 3 hours ago

Of course it is. Don't even second guess yourself. You're having those feelings either way, you don't need validation from out here. Grieve your bowl for the lost memories. But they won't really be lost 

[–] user224@lemmy.sdf.org 7 points 4 hours ago

I don't know, but I'd be too. I am even with regular items, honestly, and even with less damages. Like a single small scratch on otherwise pristine surface.

We don’t get to choose when emotions will take us. This morning I broke down over a Pokémon short because it reminded me someone I love has cancer. They have no connection to Pokémon whatsoever, and I haven’t watched Pokémon in years. It was just a sweet short and it got me going.

[–] PissingIntoTheWind@lemmy.world 5 points 3 hours ago

Ya. Material items hold memories and it can feel like losing someone close to you when that item is lost as well. My uncle gave me my grandfathers class ring after he passed and I carry it with me to every sports game I go to.

[–] makeshiftreaper@lemmy.world 5 points 4 hours ago (1 children)

That's super normal. It's important to remember objects don't have any importance behind what we assign to them. If you still value that relationship maybe you can find a way to preserve it physically like the other commenters have suggested or it may be time to acknowledge that portion of your life is over and this can be symbolic closure. I have a beautiful handmade quilt from an ex-girlfriend and I haven't seen her in almost a decade yet I keep it because the meaning behind it at the time is still important to me

An important thing to remember in these situations: "you cannot control your emotions, but you can control your reaction to them and allow that to shape you in the future"

[–] Maeve@kbin.earth 5 points 2 hours ago

"you cannot control your emotions, but you can control your reaction to them and allow that to shape you in the future"

❤️

[–] jqubed@lemmy.world 3 points 2 hours ago

I don’t know if this is something available where you live, but Replacements, Ltd. may be able to help you. That’s basically why they exist.

[–] Okokimup@lemmy.world 2 points 3 hours ago

Completely normal. Also a good opportunity to practice the art of letting go.

[–] Zagam@piefed.social 1 points 3 hours ago

I have 2 coffee mugs like that. One my mom got me when I was like 16 to use as a shaving mug. And one I got as a father's day present a week or so after my first kid was born. I'm in my 50's now and have never been sentimental about anything. But I do make sure those two mugs are safe when I put the dishes away.

[–] db2@lemmy.world 1 points 3 hours ago (3 children)

I like how everyone's glossing over the last part where the boyfriend is 60% of her age.

[–] protist@mander.xyz 4 points 3 hours ago

I think you misread

[–] whatsisface@sh.itjust.works 2 points 3 hours ago (1 children)

Did you read a different post? Where is the boyfriend's age mentioned?

[–] Cricket@lemmy.zip 3 points 3 hours ago (1 children)

Yeah, it looks like they misread what the "17" and "30" in the OP title were referring to.

[–] db2@lemmy.world 2 points 2 hours ago

The title is badly written, I think op was saying the boyfriend is no longer alive.

[–] otp@sh.itjust.works 1 points 2 hours ago (1 children)

(her boyfriend is no longer alive)

[–] db2@lemmy.world 3 points 2 hours ago

Yeah I figured it out, it's written strangely.

[–] happysplinter@lemmy.world 1 points 2 hours ago

Absolutely normal and I completely understand. I've gone through the same thing many times with sentimental objects. My spouse on the other hand lost everything they had as a child twice in house fires and carries very little sentimentality over objects as a result. As others suggested I was going to suggest kitsungi. There is a website out there that specializes in replacing matching things like dishes and glasses that are missing from specific sets. I'm sorry I can't think of the name of the site. I heard about it on a podcast with Johnny Pemberton.