this post was submitted on 26 Nov 2025
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My face just looks like this since I hit 40. Haven't checked on my balls - beer gut is in the way

top 32 comments
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[–] eager_eagle@lemmy.world 41 points 10 hours ago (2 children)

Idk a single man who cares about stretch marks, it's usually the women who bring it up

[–] Strider@lemmy.world 14 points 8 hours ago (2 children)

I agree, women are savage to each other, men either don't notice or don't care mostly. Ofc there are some idiots

[–] Droggelbecher@lemmy.world 5 points 5 hours ago

I've seen and heard both men and women bring up their own stretch marks, but I've almost* never seen or heard anyone of any gender bring up someone else's. And I have stretch marks, and have been seen naked by several people of various genders.

*the one exception I've seen is as part of a list of reasons husbands have given for why they find their wives unattractive post pregnancy. And that was maybe twice and in anonymous comments.

[–] yermaw@sh.itjust.works 2 points 7 hours ago

I notice but its not bad. Theyre just additional unique features.

[–] StupidBrotherInLaw@lemmy.world 2 points 29 minutes ago

I've known a few, the type that traded up on their wives like cars as they got older. All of them were c suite execs.

[–] Cruxifux@feddit.nl 34 points 13 hours ago (4 children)

To be fair, nobody be they man, woman, or beast, believes that balls are attractive to anybody without a weird testicle kink.

[–] dontsayaword@piefed.social 19 points 13 hours ago* (last edited 13 hours ago) (2 children)

I dunno, I think a lot of male-attracted people enjoy a good pair of balls

[–] Wren@lemmy.today 37 points 11 hours ago* (last edited 11 hours ago) (3 children)

I had a one night stand where the guy warned me he had only one ball. My immediate (in my head) reaction was I would not have noticed.

They shift around on their own and sometimes one or both hide for some reason, and honestly I respect the hell out of such a chaotic organ, but they are purely unreliable. Just imagine going through life thinking testicles are stagnant and neat, two nuts in a skin sack, only to find out half the population has these roving jizz pebbles constantly on the move. Our word for 'planet' comes from the greek word for 'wanderer,' and so should testicles have been named. They wander the groin as the trepidation of the spheres rolls planets across our skies. Never still.

So I guess they're okay. He didn't want me to touch his ball anyway.

[–] Zwiebel@feddit.org 11 points 11 hours ago (1 children)

The skin is also on the move apparently. My ex was mesmerized by the wrinkles shifting around in pulses...

[–] Wren@lemmy.today 14 points 11 hours ago

I, too, have lost myself in the changing currents of the scrotal expanse.

[–] remotelove@lemmy.ca 9 points 11 hours ago

Well, that was poetic.

[–] ByteJunk@lemmy.world 7 points 7 hours ago* (last edited 5 hours ago)

Are you writing The Testicle Monologues? I was captivated, when's the off-Broadway premiere!

[–] Cruxifux@feddit.nl 7 points 13 hours ago (1 children)

Idk maybe but not in my experience. Could just be my balls are deeply unsexy.

[–] agamemnonymous@sh.itjust.works 3 points 12 hours ago

Maybe, many relevant acquaintances have spoken very fondly of my balls, up to and including my wife. But maybe that's just me.

[–] duckythescientist@sh.itjust.works 15 points 10 hours ago

I've definitely seen some really attractive balls, and I don't have a testicle kink.

[–] ZILtoid1991@lemmy.world 2 points 10 hours ago

I've seen some pretty attractive balls in my life. It's just most people with balls are often very crusty.

[–] TommyJohnsFishSpot@lemy.lol 0 points 1 hour ago (1 children)

"nobody"

What a fucking asinine comment. Don't project your opinions onto everybody else.

[–] Cruxifux@feddit.nl 1 points 55 minutes ago (1 children)

Damn getting rage responses from the pro ball crowd. Didn’t expect to see that one.

[–] exasperation@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 points 45 minutes ago (1 children)
[–] Cruxifux@feddit.nl 0 points 16 minutes ago

Loves it! Well good on em.

[–] AngryishHumanoid@lemmy.world 26 points 14 hours ago

Oh please, I wish my balls were that smooth.

[–] Agent641@lemmy.world 21 points 6 hours ago (1 children)

Men will not complain about your stretch marks

[–] QuinnyCoded@sh.itjust.works 3 points 3 hours ago (1 children)

on Lemmy probably not openly, on Instagram however...

[–] Passerby6497@lemmy.world 5 points 3 hours ago

"I don't have shit on my shoes, but down in the sewer....."

[–] daggermoon@lemmy.world 17 points 7 hours ago (1 children)

I don't care if she has stretch marks. Why would I?

[–] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 3 points 6 hours ago

Right. I've got stretch marks of my own. Why would I judge hers?

[–] Sludge@sh.itjust.works 12 points 13 hours ago (1 children)

These some high quality memes you've got here tonight, sir. You got a license to distribute these white hot bangers?

[–] seathru@lemmy.sdf.org 5 points 14 hours ago

I'll have you know these balls as smooth sa eggs.

[–] Proprietary_Blend@lemmy.world 4 points 15 hours ago

TIL my balls are Gelfling.

[–] notreallyhere@lemmy.world 2 points 9 hours ago
[–] samus12345@sh.itjust.works 1 points 31 minutes ago

I think stretch marks are cute! But then, I like big bellies, so it comes with the territory.