this post was submitted on 13 Nov 2025
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Lemmy Shitpost

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[–] tomiant@piefed.social 59 points 2 days ago (2 children)

Our society is not that different from the 15th century.

[–] Una@europe.pub 36 points 2 days ago (2 children)

We are just apes with pants

[–] FatVegan@leminal.space 9 points 2 days ago (5 children)

We're apes forced to wear pants because of arbitrary rules.

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[–] krooklochurm@lemmy.ca 8 points 2 days ago

Speak for yourself. I'm naked.

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[–] Godort@lemmy.ca 38 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (1 children)

Establishing that god is ferrous or an electric field feels like it should be a heresy

[–] Sabata11792@ani.social 17 points 2 days ago (1 children)

What's god going to do to stop me? Get stuck to the fridge?

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[–] Dyskolos@lemmy.zip 32 points 2 days ago (3 children)

God is in my brain? Omg get him out of there please. I'm not a social person.

Also, does that mean he identifies god as a brain-parasite?

[–] saltesc@lemmy.world 11 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (1 children)

I think this is how you find out you're God. Or at least should have god-like powers.How good are you at sadism and are you a cunt to your son? Do you often find yourself threatening lives to eternal torture if they don't accept your love and moral superiority while worshipping you for it? Can you do good at the click of a finger but just don't because fuck 'em, that's why?

If none of these things, try worming tablets.

the other day i said L̶̟̺̂E̵̖͂̚͜͝T̸͇̫̜̈̈́͊͗ ̵͇̻͗T̸͖̻͕͛Ḫ̴̢̰͇̈́͛̀E̸̛͖̕Ȑ̷̡̤̬͎̇̓E̴̢͎̖̣͂͗ ̸̖͇̀͗͝B̴̬̝̀̌͑͠E̵̫̙̲̣͂̍͝ ̴͎̲̑T̸̗͈͙̿̆A̶̤͍̭̰̽̀̃͂C̷̣͈̄̐̐̚Ō̸̝̣͓͗͗̌S̵̜̗̭͜͝ and lo, there were tacos

so on a scale of 1 to God, i feel about a L Ron Hubbard

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[–] PKscope@lemmy.world 23 points 2 days ago (1 children)

If I had known I could make a living just telling blatant falsehoods in an angry way, my life might have turned out a lot differently.

I do enjoy being able to sleep at night, though. So maybe it all worked out for the best.

[–] krooklochurm@lemmy.ca 10 points 2 days ago (1 children)

IF WE ALL FORM A HAPPY FACE SYNBOL AT THE SOUTH END OF LAKE SUPERIOR THEN THE WORLD WILL IMPROVE.

TIRAMISU KS POISONOUS.

FROGS WILL PERMANENTLY REMOVE YOUR ABILITY TO BECOME AROUSED IF YOU LOOK THEN IN THE EYE ON A THURSDAY EVENING.

MONEY NOW!

[–] FreshParsnip@lemmy.ca 3 points 1 day ago (1 children)

I NEED DONATIONS TO SAVE THE UNICORNS! OTHERWISE THERE WILL BE NOTHING TO USE FOR THE LETTER U IN CHILDREN'S ALPHABET BOOKS! AND IF THE CHILDREN'S ALPHABET BOOKS ARE INCOMPLETE, FARMERS WILL FORGET TO PLANT ONIONS! AND WITHOUT ONIONS, MCDONALDS WILL GO OUT OF BUSINESS!

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[–] AllNewTypeFace@leminal.space 18 points 2 days ago

Transgender God Magnets are the new Jewish Space Lasers

[–] slothrop@lemmy.ca 17 points 2 days ago

Magnets are tools of the Antifa corporations.

[–] blave@lemmy.world 13 points 2 days ago

It’s a shame that doesn’t actually work

[–] Avicenna@programming.dev 10 points 1 day ago

Give this man a nobel prize for figuring out how magnets work

[–] Treczoks@lemmy.world 9 points 2 days ago

Do they still need a doctors diagnosis to put this person into a padded cell?

[–] skiguy0123@lemmy.ca 9 points 2 days ago (1 children)
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[–] Aeri@lemmy.world 9 points 1 day ago

If I knew how to use magic magnets to remove Christianity from people's heads I would have started doing it long ago

[–] Proprietary_Blend@lemmy.world 9 points 2 days ago (1 children)
[–] tourist@lemmy.world 3 points 1 day ago

SHIT BRO LOOK OUT

A GANG OF LINUX KERNEL CONTRIBUTORS ARE APPROACHING YOUR HOUSE

THEY'RE HAULING AN IMPROVISED MRI SCANNER

Fucking magnets, how do they work?

[–] UnderpantsWeevil@lemmy.world 8 points 2 days ago
[–] tomi000@lemmy.world 8 points 1 day ago

Nobody knows what magnets are. Except this guy.

[–] dharmacurious@slrpnk.net 7 points 1 day ago

Just get the magnets wet and they won't work

[–] PoopSpiderman@lemmy.world 7 points 2 days ago

I went through a powerful magnet phase. Could I just carry one around sucking god from people’s brains? What do I do with god once god has been removed? Are the magnets I have already lousy with god? I don’t think I was given an accurate description of god as a kid or something.

[–] epicstove@lemmy.ca 7 points 1 day ago

The onion couldn't write this shit.

[–] CileTheSane@lemmy.ca 7 points 1 day ago (3 children)

Can God make a magnet so powerful that even he can't overcome it?

can god make a magnet so gay he wants to fuck it

[–] FreshParsnip@lemmy.ca 4 points 1 day ago (1 children)

God is all powerful, yet utterly powerless to stop people from being gay and doctors from interfering with his will

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[–] FreshParsnip@lemmy.ca 6 points 1 day ago

What is he on and where can I get some?

[–] aesthelete@lemmy.world 6 points 1 day ago

Apply holy water to deactivate the magnet

[–] Agent641@lemmy.world 6 points 1 day ago

Who told them the plan?!

[–] MehBlah@lemmy.world 5 points 21 hours ago

Trans folks 'know' how magnets work.

[–] Holyginz@lemmy.world 5 points 1 day ago

Dont think he has to worry, he has no brain for anything to be sucked out of.

[–] nightwatch_admin@feddit.nl 5 points 1 day ago (4 children)

Y’all can laugh at this, but I tried it and it worked (not even trans).

Thing is, I am now stuck with this homeless god. Anyone has any idea what to do with it? Can I properly recycle it somewhere?

[–] Tigeroovy@lemmy.ca 4 points 1 day ago

Yeah just wherever you go recycle batteries, there should be a slot for it.

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[–] itisileclerk@lemmy.world 4 points 1 day ago (1 children)

I guess "Nobody knows what magnets are" is a thing now in US.

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[–] xavier666@lemmy.umucat.day 4 points 1 day ago

looks at my spare bag of neodymium magnets 👀

[–] Quexotic@infosec.pub 4 points 1 day ago (1 children)
[–] Fedizen@lemmy.world 4 points 1 day ago (1 children)

2015 oof. Obviously the god killing athiest magnets didn't pan out

[–] ReluctantMuskrat@lemmy.world 3 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Worse than that... they're probably researching if they can reverse this and make their neighbors racist

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[–] krooklochurm@lemmy.ca 4 points 2 days ago

I think this guy heard about the god helmet, which is real, and then the delusion took over.

The helmet apparently causes religious experiences, not remove your ability to have them, but then again this guy is a fucking lunatic so.

[–] KindnessIsPunk@lemmy.ca 4 points 1 day ago

This is how God rays are made, still think it's worth it?

[–] Devjavu@lemmy.dbzer0.com 3 points 1 day ago

TIL god is iron man.

[–] kamen@lemmy.world 3 points 1 day ago

Is this how they get parasites out these days? I guess I should get on with the times...

[–] andros_rex@lemmy.world 3 points 1 day ago (2 children)

I only managed a “D” in E&M (why are surface integrals). Do I have to detransition?

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[–] ekZepp@lemmy.world 3 points 1 day ago

It's just a lazy coverup. Everyone know they're using 5g to do that.

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