this post was submitted on 24 Sep 2025
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Not The Onion

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[–] prole@lemmy.blahaj.zone 126 points 3 days ago (3 children)

Never Harriet Tubman though.

I wonder if there's a reason why? Anyone know???

[–] scarabic@lemmy.world 73 points 3 days ago (1 children)

She rescued what, a few thousand people? Kirk offended millions!

[–] Zachariah@lemmy.world 48 points 3 days ago

Mysteriously, so did Harriet Tubman.

[–] LodeMike@lemmy.today 21 points 3 days ago
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[–] poccalyps@sh.itjust.works 104 points 3 days ago (4 children)

Fuck, if we are putting streamers on currency I vote for Pokimane.

[–] PhobosAnomaly@feddit.uk 11 points 3 days ago (2 children)

I vote (illegally) for MetalJesusRocks.

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[–] kelpie_returns@lemmy.world 67 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago) (7 children)

I hate the idiots in charge of this country.

Does anyone living in a sane country wanna do a greencard marriage thing? I'm a good cook, enjoy keeping my space clean, and am a fairly experienced flatterer, if that sweetens the pot any.

.....pretty please? :(

[–] oxysis@lemmy.blahaj.zone 18 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago) (1 children)

Anyone want to do that for me too? I might be disabled but I am very funny, I can do pixel art so I can make stuff for you, I have good style and can help you dress well, I can sew so I can mend your clothes! You can also have all my steam games!

Please get me out of here :(

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[–] ThePantser@sh.itjust.works 10 points 3 days ago

So we made it to the "Russian bride" level already. American Spouses

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[–] f1error@lemmy.world 55 points 3 days ago
[–] echo@lemmings.world 49 points 2 days ago

What a fucking joke...

[–] SkunkWorkz@lemmy.world 46 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Will probably be a MAGA coin that isn’t even legal tender so Trump can fleece his followers even more.

[–] hOrni@lemmy.world 16 points 2 days ago (5 children)

It'll cost as much as a gold coin but will be made out of zink.

It will be gold plated to be sold as "gold coin"

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[–] khannie@lemmy.world 34 points 3 days ago (3 children)

Ah lads..... You've gone too far now. C'mon. How in the name of sweet baby Jesus, Mary, Joseph and all his carpenter friends is this not an onion? C'mon now. Seriously.

[–] Lost_My_Mind@lemmy.world 17 points 3 days ago (1 children)

The timeline jumped the shark. Reality is too absurd for The Onion to parody.

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[–] SaveTheTuaHawk@lemmy.ca 33 points 2 days ago (2 children)

Fast forward to 2030...

" That will be 13 Kirks"

" Here's a Rogan and a Shapiro, keep the change"

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[–] don@lemmy.ca 27 points 3 days ago (3 children)

Misleading title, they’d be coins:

The bill calls on the U.S. Treasury to print 400,000 silver dollar coins with Kirk's face on them, Republican Representatives August Pfluger of Texas and Abraham Hamadeh of Arizona told Fox News. In addition to Kirk's image, the coins would include the message, "Well done, good and faithful servant." They would be minted with the year 2026 and his full name on them, according to Fox News Digital.

Also "Well done, good and faithful servant." is absolutely nauseating.

[–] BananaIsABerry@lemmy.zip 10 points 3 days ago (5 children)

All things considered, coins make the most sense. Bills would be defaced so quickly. I was already imagining all the grotesque pen drawings over his dumb face.

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[–] Aceticon@lemmy.dbzer0.com 22 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (1 children)

Surely toilet paper would be a more appropriate medium to carry his semblance.

[–] Taleya@aussie.zone 20 points 2 days ago (2 children)

Might grab one. Stick it in my coin collection next to the reichmarks my poppy picked up while killing nazis

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[–] HakFoo@lemmy.sdf.org 18 points 2 days ago (3 children)

These coins will never circulate.

Commemorative coins like this are usually sold at a significant markup (even beyond the fact a "silver dollar" has about $30 worth of silver at today's bullion prices. Some of the markup is often set aside for a fund-raising purpose.

These will go directly into the albums of coin collectors, who to be blunt, tend to skew old, white, and MAGA. (If you go to a coin show, there will be plenty of right wing and Trump paraphernalia).

The ironic thing is that "really successful" commemorative coins tend to not appreciate well, because they glut any market. The most valuable modern coins tend to be either stuff that was deliberately underproduced (example: the 1996-W silver eagle that was only available with the purchase of almost two ounces of gold coins) or stuff that was ugly and unexciting and so they produced far less than the original allotment.

There are plenty of people who drag down their inheritance of 1970s proof sets, mail-order/shop-at-home products that are $10 worth of coin in $100 worth of packaging, high-markup bullion items, and market-glut commemoratives, just to discover that Grandpa should have bought AAPL instead. Often the "investment" didn't even beat inflation, and in the worst cases, they actually lost money in nominal dollar terms. I suspect a bag full of Kirk dollars would be a red flag to any appraiser in 2050.

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[–] Treczoks@lemmy.world 18 points 2 days ago

Making the currency even more worthless...

[–] pelespirit@sh.itjust.works 18 points 1 day ago
[–] selkiesidhe@sh.itjust.works 17 points 3 days ago (2 children)

Surprised the fat fuck hasn't ordered his own nasty face to be put on all US currency honestly...

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[–] Korhaka@sopuli.xyz 17 points 2 days ago

I assume Charlie-Kirk-Lied is going to be the party anthem too?

[–] thelittleerik@lemmy.world 16 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago)

ANYTHING BUT TO RELEASE THE EPSTEIN FILES. FUCKING ANYTHING.

[–] KarlHungus42@lemmy.world 15 points 2 days ago

Ironically, the coin will be roughly the same diameter as the hole in his neck

[–] Rune_Walsh@lemmy.world 15 points 2 days ago (1 children)

It would be fun to draw little X's over his eyes on every bill.

[–] T00l_shed@lemmy.world 27 points 2 days ago

They are coins, so drill holes in the neck

[–] leftzero@lemmy.dbzer0.com 14 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Well, with the coming hyperinflation they're going to need to print a lot of new notes, wouldn't be surprised to see his face on the trillion dollar note, usually used as toilet paper due to being much cheaper and more abundant...

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[–] Draegur@lemmy.zip 14 points 2 days ago

They're going to double, triple, quadruple down. They are prepared to die on this hill although they don't expect to. There is no reasoning with this scum.

[–] Kolanaki@pawb.social 14 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago)

I hope this causes Sacagawea and Susan B. Anthony to rise from the grave and bitch-slap some motherfuckers.

[–] letsgo2themall@lemmy.world 14 points 2 days ago (1 children)

if they do, just draw penises on his face.

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[–] HubertManne@piefed.social 14 points 2 days ago

these people have no sense of history.

[–] BigMacHole@sopuli.xyz 13 points 3 days ago

Good! BETTER a WHITE MAN than ANY Women or Blacks or Gays! And if this Offends you SUCK IT UP this is what Charlie Kirk preached!

[–] uriel238@lemmy.blahaj.zone 11 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Isn't the dollar due to collapse due to foreign sanctions against the Trump regime tariffs?

Poetic.

New currency might be plastic.

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[–] gary@piefed.world 11 points 3 days ago

Of course they wanna make him into a fucking commemorative coin lmao perfect thing to sell on antenna tv informercials

[–] LoremIpsumGenerator@lemmy.world 11 points 2 days ago
[–] M0oP0o@mander.xyz 11 points 1 day ago

Just collapse already! This is just getting silly at this point.

[–] jaemo@sh.itjust.works 10 points 3 days ago

A much more original way to devalue your currency than the Romans.

May it go to zero.

[–] Flax_vert@feddit.uk 10 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Isn't the word "minted" not more correct as this is about commemorative coins?

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[–] ptolemai@lemmy.world 9 points 3 days ago

A fresh attempt at currency devaluation

[–] thespcicifcocean@lemmy.world 9 points 2 days ago

I will rob a bank just to burn those notes.

[–] RedC@sh.itjust.works 8 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Silver dollar coins? Can't wait to buy as many as I can so I can melt them down and use them as Antifa challenge coins or something along those lines.

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[–] friend_of_satan@lemmy.world 8 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago)

Please let it be a low denomination coin so I can have trains run over his face.

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