this post was submitted on 11 Sep 2025
41 points (87.3% liked)

No Stupid Questions

43418 readers
952 users here now

No such thing. Ask away!

!nostupidquestions is a community dedicated to being helpful and answering each others' questions on various topics.

The rules for posting and commenting, besides the rules defined here for lemmy.world, are as follows:

Rules (interactive)


Rule 1- All posts must be legitimate questions. All post titles must include a question.

All posts must be legitimate questions, and all post titles must include a question. Questions that are joke or trolling questions, memes, song lyrics as title, etc. are not allowed here. See Rule 6 for all exceptions.



Rule 2- Your question subject cannot be illegal or NSFW material.

Your question subject cannot be illegal or NSFW material. You will be warned first, banned second.



Rule 3- Do not seek mental, medical and professional help here.

Do not seek mental, medical and professional help here. Breaking this rule will not get you or your post removed, but it will put you at risk, and possibly in danger.



Rule 4- No self promotion or upvote-farming of any kind.

That's it.



Rule 5- No baiting or sealioning or promoting an agenda.

Questions which, instead of being of an innocuous nature, are specifically intended (based on reports and in the opinion of our crack moderation team) to bait users into ideological wars on charged political topics will be removed and the authors warned - or banned - depending on severity.



Rule 6- Regarding META posts and joke questions.

Provided it is about the community itself, you may post non-question posts using the [META] tag on your post title.

On fridays, you are allowed to post meme and troll questions, on the condition that it's in text format only, and conforms with our other rules. These posts MUST include the [NSQ Friday] tag in their title.

If you post a serious question on friday and are looking only for legitimate answers, then please include the [Serious] tag on your post. Irrelevant replies will then be removed by moderators.



Rule 7- You can't intentionally annoy, mock, or harass other members.

If you intentionally annoy, mock, harass, or discriminate against any individual member, you will be removed.

Likewise, if you are a member, sympathiser or a resemblant of a movement that is known to largely hate, mock, discriminate against, and/or want to take lives of a group of people, and you were provably vocal about your hate, then you will be banned on sight.



Rule 8- All comments should try to stay relevant to their parent content.



Rule 9- Reposts from other platforms are not allowed.

Let everyone have their own content.



Rule 10- Majority of bots aren't allowed to participate here. This includes using AI responses and summaries.



Credits

Our breathtaking icon was bestowed upon us by @Cevilia!

The greatest banner of all time: by @TheOneWithTheHair!

founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
 

This is coming from a neurodivergent guy. I just don’t get it. I mean, I know it’s probably because we act differently, but WHY EXACTLY do some people decide we’re lesser than neurotypical people?

top 22 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] __siru__@discuss.tchncs.de 38 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Bullying is almost always about being able to single out a person that is somehow different in order to create a synthetic group feeling in opposition to them. Whether that be financially, absent parents, neurodivergence etc.

[–] potoo22@programming.dev 17 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Yup. Herd mentality. If you're not part of the herd, you're a valid target for reinforcing the herd's stances.

[–] Rhynoplaz@lemmy.world 9 points 1 day ago

If you're not part of the herd, you're one of the nerds!

There. Made it catchier for you!

[–] devolution@lemmy.world 28 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Guy, it's simple. Human nature is to ostracize what is different. You know, social hierarchy and all that shit. I don't get why you don't get it.

That said, it's deplorable and needs to change.

[–] qtpie@piefed.social 3 points 1 day ago

I forgot about that. It is absolutely deplorable, though, you're right

[–] user224@lemmy.sdf.org 11 points 1 day ago

As always, a difference. That's it. That's all. Needs no logic. A difference from main crowd. If just color of the skin is enough, then logic clearly isn't needed in these cases.

If someone wants to find the justification for themselves, they will.

[–] AA5B@lemmy.world 10 points 1 day ago

Usually neurodivergent isn’t relevant. People are bullied because they’re different and because they’re an easy target, regardless of why they’re different

[–] Kolanaki@pawb.social 9 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Because the whole fucking world is ass-backwards. I mean, FFS some defining traits of Autism are:

  • Having empathy

  • Having a strong sense of justice

  • Having a strong disposition toward fairness

This would imply that allistic people do not have empathy, do not care about justice, and like when the deck is stacked.

[–] stinky@redlemmy.com 3 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (1 children)

What's your source for this info? "Having empathy" surprised me; I'd often heard the opposite is true

[–] Kolanaki@pawb.social 1 points 22 hours ago (1 children)

We have empathy; it's just common for people on the spectrum to not show emotion on the outside or have an expression that does not match their feeling.

[–] stinky@redlemmy.com 1 points 21 hours ago (1 children)

My point was that I'd never heard "having empathy is a defining trait of Autism" that's why I asked for your source material, and provided my own, you can read the attached study in which thousands of participants (those identifying as Autistic were asked to provide their diagnosis date) filled out questionnaires about their cognitive and emotional empathy, it shows quite clearly that empathy is not a defining trait of Autism. Does that help?

[–] Kolanaki@pawb.social 1 points 21 hours ago

Source: Being diagnosed on the spectrum and being told by my doctor what some of the good parts about it are.

[–] Redacted@lemmy.zip 8 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

By not acting as they do, they interpret that as a deliberate choice. They then assume that by not acting like them, that you dont like how they act. This is an attack on them in their view, so they attack "back".

On top of this, most tippies are very self centered, and likely have never stopped to think about life as a neurodivergent. That makes us strange to them, and people dont like strange.(ESPECIALLY if they say they like strange)

[–] DeathByBigSad@sh.itjust.works 7 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

My mother thinks autistic people are "dangerous". (like she said this to me like a few days ago)

Like what. the. fuck.

My parents came from some rural village in People's Republic of China, a very conservative upbringing, modern psychaitry is still new, older people have trouble accepting that, and sometimes their views even get passed on to their offsprings. Because PRC is still filled with conservatives, people still get kicked out of university over an Autism diagnosis that the faculty later found out about, there is no "ADA" like there is in the US. (Imagine you have a country, but instead of half of them being US-MAGAs, its 90% of the entire country) Conservatives view any deviation from the "normal" as bad, they think people with any slight mental health issues as "brain damaged" or "useless", the nazi germany's concept of "useless eater" comes to mind.

TLDR: Sometimes ignorance, but mostly the conservative mindset.

[–] ArseAssassin@sopuli.xyz 7 points 1 day ago

For the most part, when you participate in any social interaction, people will have ready-made roles laid out for all the participants. These roles consist of an unspoken list of dos and don'ts that are absorbed through cultural osmosis to the point that they become social norms. This is all quite subconscious, and when questioned about it, most of us will either reject that they're engaged in this or answer something vague to make the question go away.

When someone shows up that doesn't quite seem to catch on to the game, many people tend to get uncomfortable. If there's someone who isn't acting their part, they're no longer sure what to do themselves. They feel threatened and shitty behavior ensues to enforce the status quo. So yes, mostly people are performing a role in order to fit in, even if they don't realize they're doing it.

On the plus side, when you meet someone who doesn't expect you to perform a role to meet their demands, it's pretty freakin' sweet.

[–] birdwing@lemmy.blahaj.zone 6 points 1 day ago

"Neurotypical" people aren't as aware of differences due to being the "dominant" group. They often have a herd mentality and join whatever dunks on others best to come on 'top'.

[–] gilokee@lemmy.world 6 points 1 day ago

In my experience, I've bullied and also been bullied because of people/me being annoying. Or not getting a joke, making a stupid comment, etc. Neurodivergent people often don't get jokes or can't read the room, so they get made fun of/bullied for it.

[–] Shelena@feddit.nl 3 points 1 day ago

My theory is that most people are scared, so they try to belong to a group so that they are less scared. The cohesion in the group is determined by the extent to which its participants are alike. To promote cohesion, people tend to conform to the rest of the group (speaking teh same way, dressing the same way, having similar interests etc.).

Now, if someone does not conform to the group, for example, because they dress differently, or have different interests, then either they are not in the group and should be kept our to promote cohesion (according to these people). If they are already in the group and do not conform, they are either pushed into confirming or cast out of the group, to ensure that cohesion remains intact. This is why some people act like people who are neurodivergent are different, I think.

TL;DR: Many people need to be part of a group to feel safe and feel like people acting differently threatens their group.

[–] RizzRustbolt@lemmy.world 2 points 1 day ago

The short answer is the safety of the social group.

The long answer is rabies.

[–] lordnikon@lemmy.world 2 points 1 day ago

If ypu read about Johanna Haarer a lot of conservative/ fascist mindset makes a lot of sense. That lady was a psychopath.

[–] RBWells@lemmy.world 1 points 1 day ago

I think it's probably because people get irritated. Not to excuse it, but it does take some awareness and tolerance and patience, just like it does for you. Not "lesser" at all, more likely just annoying, and again, just like you are likely annoyed with them.

[–] mugita_sokiovt@discuss.online 1 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

As a neurodivergent dude myself, it might be because they don't understand us, and they happened to be miserable... projecting that onto us.

My producer, Sendo (who's also autistic), was bullied when he was young, and his father wouldn't do anything about it.