ArseAssassin

For the most part, when you participate in any social interaction, people will have ready-made roles laid out for all the participants. These roles consist of an unspoken list of dos and don'ts that are absorbed through cultural osmosis to the point that they become social norms. This is all quite subconscious, and when questioned about it, most of us will either reject that they're engaged in this or answer something vague to make the question go away.

When someone shows up that doesn't quite seem to catch on to the game, many people tend to get uncomfortable. If there's someone who isn't acting their part, they're no longer sure what to do themselves. They feel threatened and shitty behavior ensues to enforce the status quo. So yes, mostly people are performing a role in order to fit in, even if they don't realize they're doing it.

On the plus side, when you meet someone who doesn't expect you to perform a role to meet their demands, it's pretty freakin' sweet.

Um. I mean, I get what you mean. But two of those are essential nutrients.

I'm not much for small talk. Instead of following a formula, I try to find a way to be genuinely interested in the other person, then ask questions without making them uncomfortable. For me this has been the best way to get to know people I get along with.

You doing okay there buddy?

I've realized that in my society, more or less, being human in general is worthless. Or more accurately, a person is as valuable as their latest income statement. I don't evaluate any person this way. Therefore I refuse to evaluate myself this way.

People's judgments are endless and contradictory. Because of this, many of us make their best effort to blend into the crowd, trying to conceal every part of themselves that doesn't fit into the norms. I've always taken this to mean that I should be true to myself. This makes a lot of people angry, but that just makes it easier to tell who should I avoid.

A few years ago I started a community that has now outgrown me. I made a few close (mostly female) friends, and as an introvert that's enough for me. I'm now more focused on strengthening those ties, keeping a door open for others who'd like to be part of my life.

In general, I try to live for my values, avoiding all ideologies, belief systems, political systems and other -isms. The more I go into this process, I'm finding my newer relationships more stable and fulfilling, even if not always easy to come by.

We live in an infinite universe. As such, it seems hubristic to me to believe that we have, more or less, nature figured out.

I don't feel compelled to believe in the soul as some strange sort of object that is continuously reincarnated towards a great purpose. But if we consider consciousness as an energy of its own kind, then it should hold true that it cannot be created or destroyed, only change form. This could mean that the consciousness that resides in the body could move between different life forms like a fluid, freely mixing and melding with others, filling a new vessel as necessary.

Ah, you're referring to the tendency of certain narcissistic people to treat others as an extension of themselves. That's certainly not what I mean.

The golden rule works for the most part, but it also needs to create the Other to work. What I'm thinking about is closer to the philosophy of Ubuntu, sometimes stated as "I am because we are".

Seems to me that someone who hates themselves is living with a tremendous shadow that completely cuts them off from unconditional love. Thus one lives in a constant state of war against themselves. I always enjoyed this clip of Alan Watts reading Carl Jung's thoughts on the subject.

What is it if you don't love yourself?

Love is the recognition that, on a profound level, the other is part of myself, and I part of the other.

That's a good question. I've never studied the topic, but your answer sounds reasonable. I did read over some relevant bits from Wikipedia

While the motivations for self harm vary, the most commonly endorsed reason for self harm given by adolescents is to get relief from a terrible state of mind.

Many people who self-harm state that it allows them to "go away" or dissociate, separating the mind from feelings that are causing anguish. This may be achieved by tricking the mind into believing that the present suffering being felt is caused by the self-harm instead of the issues they were facing previously: the physical pain therefore acts as a distraction from the original emotional pain.

Alternatively, self-harm may be a means of feeling something, even if the sensation is unpleasant and painful. Those who self-harm sometimes describe feelings of emptiness or numbness (anhedonia), and physical pain may be a relief from these feelings.

Those who engage in self-harm face the contradictory reality of harming themselves while at the same time obtaining relief from this act. It may even be hard for some to actually initiate cutting, but they often do because they know the relief that will follow. For some self-harmers this relief is primarily psychological while for others this feeling of relief comes from the beta endorphins released in the brain.[93][medical citation needed] Endorphins are endogenous opioids that are released in response to physical injury, acting as natural painkillers and inducing pleasant feelings, and in response to self-harm would act to reduce tension and emotional distress.

Can I get a source on that?