This isn't a shit post IMO.

Im with you, I dont need my dishwasher to have WiFi and an account

I went to a coffee shop yesterday that tried to tell me they only accepted orders through their app. I almost walked out, until the finally poured my coffee, but continued to give me shit about it, "ok but next time you have to use the app"

"Yea no. There will be no next time."

I used a normal wired phone the other day.

I picked it up and called people.

It blew my mind.

I rented a car, a Mercedes B class or something

Everytime I started it, it would ask me to sign up for some bullshit Mercedes service Half the features of the car were disabled due to requiring subscriptions

I will NEVER buy that car nor rent it ever again

Buy old stuff

Use open source

Downdate

etc

What fantasy world are you living in? How could my glass hold water if I didn't sign up for a service that sends me spam? How could my table hold a book if I didn't sign up for the monthly subscription that prevents it from ejecting books into the air? Even my cat came with a ToS that said that by petting her, I give her access to my bank account and first born child. Hasn't it always been this way?

Hello fellow old person. I too miss things that just work.

I helped my dad install a new dumb thermostat last winter. We just had to drill a couple of new holes to mount it, and moved the wires over. Boom,there was heat again. I thought about how much of a pain in the ass it was to get my Ecobee working, and how refreshing it was to just have something work immediately.

It's a very similar feeling to playing my GameBoy Color again after messing around with retro gaming linux handhelds. You just turn it on and play, then just turn it off. No boot sequences, no emulator settings to tweak. No SD card corruption that ruins your game library. Just on and off.

Shit either has no buttons, with an capacitive touch surface, or if it has buttons, it's never immediate response, you have to press it for an extended amount of time.

it's fucking infuriating.

It used to be that when i got a new video game for Christmas, i could just put it into the GameCube/PS2 and play it. No need to wait for everyone to also try and download the 40gb update that morning.

My poor tv is like, "connect to the internet? I need to call home! Help, i've been abducted by a luddite!"

Tv, you are never getting my wifi password.

Try plugging in a fork. Those still do what they are supposed to do

I'm road tripping through northern Europe. Staying at Airbnbs and every fucking tv is a smart tv and not one can I pick up a remote and start surfing channels. And if I find tv most of them are slow to react. So it's press ch+ wait 5 seconds on black screen see that it's in a language I don't know and press again.

I love some connected devices, and own a LOT of them, but some things are just stupid. I don’t need my blender to be connected. Washer, dryer? Unless it’s going to move my laundry from one to the other, nope. Stove, wtf? I have to go stir anyway so who gives a crap.

I really wanna ditch the smart TV I have and just get a display that only displays the picture of the devices I have plugged into its inputs and doesn't get online, doesn't receive updates or "improvements" and has inputs for everything:

3.5mm AUX audio

Composite

S-video

RGB

Hdmi

That optical audio jack made by (IIRC) Sony I can't remember the name of right now. It's what my stereo uses and it's amazing. Used to be super common on TVs.

This is one of the reasons why I still only use wired headphones.

No waiting for firmware updates

I recently renovated and said fuck no to all the smart home shit. Just the idea of having to troubleshoot the WiFi because my kitchen light won't turn on drives me into a rage.

After trying to get my new automated kitty litter box working with a POS app that can't sync with the poop machine and the PM can't connect to my 5 GHz wireless network (only 2.4 GHz) nor does it have any way to enter the password for said network I have resorted to deleting the app and just pushing two physical buttons in sequence on the PM twice daily to clean the litter area.

car

Return to Analog!

Omg yes preach !!! I feel it's everything these days, coffee maker....app Vacuum....app Scale...app Electric shower nozzle...fucking app Everything needs a password and an account and my mind is crumbling because of it.

you can still have this, you just have to not buy the shit things

the only thing i'm aware of that has no non-shit option anymore is TVs, but then who the fuck watches TV anymore?

Yup.

Comcast "updated" their network yesterday and broke every fucking smart plug in my house. None of them will work anymore.

I remember when games asked you to register and it was optional... and people joked that they never did because there was no benefit to them whatsoever.

Now it is obligatory. No wonder I prefer retrogaming.

The internet has become more and more complex. I miss the early 2000s when I was a kid and everything was open and easy to use. No need to register ,no need to download this or that app. Everything was easy, even the laws.

I have this smart lightbulb that I got for halloween last year because I thought it'd be cool to make the porch glow purple for trick or treaters. Now I have to replace it because the app that controls it has decided to try and blackmail me for camera and location access and the bulbs default state without the app is to flash on and off in a way seemingly deliberately designed to cause headaches.