this post was submitted on 15 Jul 2025
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Lemmy Shitpost

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This is about this

I made this with photo editing tools bc I can't defeat 4chan's captchas

Poll:
https://strawpoll.com/NMnQNvjeBg6

Poll Results:
https://lemmyverse.link/lemmy.blahaj.zone/post/28960622

top 50 comments
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[–] DmMacniel@feddit.org 228 points 1 day ago (4 children)

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seriously who touches others food to flirt?!

[–] spankmonkey@lemmy.world 113 points 1 day ago (2 children)

Flirty people in movies.

Real people in relationships.

Weirdos who deserve to have their reheated fast food burger smashed.

[–] merc@sh.itjust.works 15 points 1 day ago (1 children)

It's one of those things that works in movies because it's something you can get away with if you're incredibly attractive. There's a whole stock images category involving girls licking their fingers, mostly in a seductive style. But, in the real world, it's something you do with your husband or long-term partner, not a random cow-orker.

[–] Mouselemming@sh.itjust.works 18 points 1 day ago (3 children)

But those girls are licking their OWN food off their fingers, not pasta sauce from sticking their hand into a co-worker's spaghetti! Even within an intimate relationship grabbing the other person's food isn't appropriate without consent.

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[–] Soup@lemmy.world 33 points 1 day ago (2 children)

It wasn’t flirting, but this ADHD positive girl I was crushing on(and was crushing on me) once absentmindedly stuck the tip of her finger in a full glass of water in front of her to ask whose it was and I had to desperately fight falling in love right then and there.

Now, that was an accident born of silly brain vs purposefully fucking with someone’s food so I understand the difference, but I really like my story so…

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[–] SweetPomegranate@lemmy.world 10 points 1 day ago (2 children)
[–] spankmonkey@lemmy.world 9 points 1 day ago

"In front of my salad!?"

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[–] PlaidBaron@lemmy.world 98 points 1 day ago (3 children)

ITT: people taking a shitpost from 4chan seriously.

[–] TherapyGary@lemmy.blahaj.zone 78 points 1 day ago

I made this greentext with photoshop in response to this post

[–] themeatbridge@lemmy.world 38 points 1 day ago (4 children)

You can discuss the events of a story, and the relative morality and social etiquette of the characters in it, even if the whole thing is entirely fiction. Functionally, it makes no difference if it really happened or it didn't. Sometimes that matters, but here is doesn't. You don't know these people, you'll never meet these people, and there's no real-world effect of discussing this story (except maybe someone learns not to touch somebody else's food?).

Fuck it, you could be a bot programmed to complain about people taking shitposts seriously. I could be an AI created to respond to your prompts to try to convince you not to complain about fabricated stories. This entire interaction could be four bots engaged in a learning exercise in a simulated online forum. Or maybe it was all a dream the whole time.

[–] UnderpantsWeevil@lemmy.world 12 points 1 day ago

Fuck it, you could be a bot programmed to complain about people taking shitposts seriously.

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[–] PlaidBaron@lemmy.world 12 points 1 day ago

Now thats a good shitpost comment. You get it.

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[–] DrDystopia@lemy.lol 64 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Poll: VPN user voting is not allowed.

Ok bye.

[–] TherapyGary@lemmy.blahaj.zone 21 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Yeah I thought I disabled that, but apparently not. Silly that that seems to be the default

[–] DrDystopia@lemy.lol 12 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Enter my answer "I deserve to be able to opt out of taking this poll" for me pls.

[–] TherapyGary@lemmy.blahaj.zone 14 points 1 day ago (1 children)

I can't vote either bc I also refuse to turn off my VPN 😅

[–] REDACTED@infosec.pub 8 points 1 day ago (2 children)

Is it anti-dystopian if I trust my ISP and government with my data more than I trust random VPN companies?

[–] TherapyGary@lemmy.blahaj.zone 9 points 1 day ago (1 children)

I mean I certainly wouldn't trust any random VPN company, but I trust ProtonVPN

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[–] Semi_Hemi_Demigod@lemmy.world 45 points 1 day ago

Anyone who sticks their hands in my food uninvited is not someone I would like a relationship with.

Respect boundaries.

[–] uriel238@lemmy.blahaj.zone 44 points 1 day ago (3 children)

This sounds like the kind of flirting I'd expect after seeing '80s and '90s teen angst movies. In retrospect screenwriters just don't understand how humans interact, or rather they just don't care and go for madcap antics instead.

I'm way neurodivergent, and was completely unaware of human interaction, so I was looking at Pretty in Pink and St. Elmo's Fire (etc. etc.) trying to decipher how all that works.

I became sexually active at 26 after folks from the kink community noticed my nerdy vibe, and they schooled me in some basic human interaction. (Note that I matrix-dodged a barrage of incel-to-fascist pipeline bullets thanks to some amazing strokes of fortune.)

After the fact, in recollection, I realized then that a lot of women in my young adult life were signalling me and I never knew.

I also realized my aunt was totally hitting on me when I was sixteen. That's all sorts of awkward to reconcile.

[–] vivalapivo@lemmy.today 18 points 1 day ago (4 children)

Note that I matrix-dodged a barrage of incel-to-fascist pipeline bullets

Here goes my hero

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[–] AnarchistArtificer@slrpnk.net 14 points 1 day ago

"I became sexually active at 26 after folks from the kink community noticed my nerdy vibe, and they schooled me in some basic human interaction."

Solidarity fist bump. My own experience was somewhat different, but there is the common ground of learning communication skills on a lag, and learning from a niche community of lovely weirdos

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[–] Numuruzero@lemmy.dbzer0.com 43 points 1 day ago (1 children)

It's not weird to touch other people's food everyone does it just for fun. Go to your neighbor's house and touch their food and you can laugh together.

[–] IAmNorRealTakeYourMeds@lemmy.world 7 points 1 day ago (4 children)

ngl, I usually touch my own food, not sure how to eat it otherwise

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[–] iAvicenna@lemmy.world 38 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (7 children)

Girl tries flirting by biting lip

I use arch btw

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[–] SweetPomegranate@lemmy.world 34 points 1 day ago

I'm not sure if the guy was trying to protect his virginity, or if he was genuinely bothered by the damn bitch constantly touching his food. I'd be annoyed too if someone kept sticking their hand in my food every single day.

[–] marighost@piefed.social 31 points 1 day ago (3 children)

Instead, he smashes my burger to bits without even looking away from his coffee, just stares at me
Without looking away from his coffee
Just stares at me

how he do that

[–] TherapyGary@lemmy.blahaj.zone 26 points 1 day ago

She forgot to mention his lazy eye

[–] themeatbridge@lemmy.world 20 points 1 day ago

She was lounging in his coffee cup like it was a hot tub.

[–] Feathercrown@lemmy.world 7 points 1 day ago (1 children)
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[–] merc@sh.itjust.works 24 points 1 day ago (1 children)

"Touching his food" can run the gamut between:

Take one of his potato chips and eat it

to

Stick my thumb in his soup

If a friend or family member took one of my potato chips and ate it, I'd probably be fine with it. At worst I'd be a little annoyed. If an acquaintance or cow-orker did that it would be a little more strange, but not the end of the world. But, the other end of the spectrum is much weirder.

Grabbing a potato chip, if done carefully, will mean not touching anything else. Any dirt or germs on the toucher's hands aren't going to get spread around the rest of the food, but touching a liquid or something with sauce on it is different. IMO, touching someone's pasta is definitely on the germ-spreading end of the scale.

[–] TherapyGary@lemmy.blahaj.zone 7 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (5 children)

I can't respond to your other comment bc snooggums is banned from my instance

It’s one of those things that works in movies because it’s something you can get away with if you’re incredibly attractive. There’s a whole stock images category involving girls licking their fingers, mostly in a seductive style. But, in the real world, it’s something you do with your husband or long-term partner, not a random cow-orker.

I think this is what people aren't understanding. Someone who does this repeatedly surely must have learned that it's okay/works from a history of doing it, so they're probably very attractive. I'm pretty confident that most normies would react much more playfully/positively than the responses in the comments here if an incredibly attractive person did this to them. If the goal is to swap spit anyway, you're not gonna be thinking about the germs on their fingers

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[–] troyunrau@lemmy.ca 19 points 1 day ago

This is not flirting. It is socially maladjusted behaviour. Just because it has worked before doesn't mean it is a good idea.

Pickup artists do all kinds of stupid shit that works that isn't socially acceptable either.

[–] realitista@lemmy.world 18 points 1 day ago

I didn't have to go past femanon to know that this was fake.

[–] mojofrododojo@lemmy.world 16 points 1 day ago

I like it when these little dramas align on the front page:

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[–] ConstantPain@lemmy.world 16 points 13 hours ago (1 children)

That's a copypasta reference of another post from the guy's perspective.

From his perspective, she is just a weird coworker who likes to touch his food, and he gets tired of telling her off.

[–] TherapyGary@lemmy.blahaj.zone 8 points 13 hours ago* (last edited 13 hours ago) (2 children)
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[–] TherapyGary@lemmy.blahaj.zone 16 points 1 day ago

The correct response is obviously to demand to lick her finger to get your sauce back

[–] jia_tan@lemmy.blahaj.zone 15 points 1 day ago

I use Debian fyi

[–] 90s_hacker@reddthat.com 14 points 1 day ago (1 children)

How are we so sure bro wasn't just flirting back?

[–] nightwatch_admin@feddit.nl 7 points 1 day ago

Because he was smashing the burger, not femanon.

[–] grue@lemmy.world 13 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

Fake: you said yourself that you made it with photoshop in response to the other greentext

Gay: "Femanons?" Female 4chan users? I don't think they exist.

[–] Deathray5@lemmynsfw.com 12 points 1 day ago

Fake: well obviously

Gay: almost certainly written by a guy

Only on Lemmy, is one of the options "I use Arch".

[–] abbadon420@sh.itjust.works 7 points 1 day ago
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