Ask Lemmy

I feel you. I'm older, and some years ago I decided to get off facebook. All the people I loosely connect with in my region are on there, events get announced there, my hobby groups are there. I felt very superior to all those who kept using fascist social media, and told myself I was better off without it. I also became very isolated from other humans and spent 24/7 with the same person and with my animals. It was great for a while, but ultimately I went back to using the blasted site. I believe it can be healthy to spend time away from the algorithm especially when one is a little too hooked, I don't think it's good to isolate from others forever and get too hung up over how and where most people like to interact.

I'd say I now use the site with more self awareness - when I realize that the algorithm is fucking with me I get off. I also make an effort of engaging with people I like in real life, through shared interests and activities. I still hate facebook with a passion and to not feel too bad about using it I post a lot of political stuff to try and radicalize my friends on there.

I'd say don't suffer too much for your idea of social media purity. If it helps you connect with others, use it. If you feel you are too hooked, go touch grass.

0 relatable things to share with people irl

I'm having a hard time understanding this. I guess I get not being 100% with the clusterfuck of news, but don't think that's a bad thing. If you don't know what they're talking about then just ask them what's happening. Other than that is the only thing you have to talk about IRL are memes?

I try as hard as possible to not let the internet bleed into my real life. Saying or talking about a meme IRL is cringe that I cannot commit. I have plenty of hobbies, interests, knowledgeable experience, etc to be having normal human conversions. And usually so do other people.

Lemmy and YouTube are the only user created content that I view and don't feel like I'm missing out on anything. And I feel I should cut down my usage of both. I wouldnt say I'm a privacy freak but do as much as a can with as little effort because 90% of it doesn't take much.

If you're not happy and "just want to enjoy stuff" then go for it, do whatever makes you happy. I think its a pretty inconsequential decision. Only you know what'll make you happy, sometimes you gotta try different things and figure out what the balance is to accomplish that.

can't speak for you, but I follow nothing. I find zero enjoyment in talking about weird videos of people doing dumb things. my mental health is better then those that do, and I can have actual conversations about real things instead of needing to resort to whatever junk is trending.

I think we'll see the wave function flip soon enough. Some young people are actively seeking the analogue world that they are too young to remember.

Schools are realizing hand written assignments do have a place in the digital age. School admins are finally stepping up and restricting cellphone usage during class times.

Parents are realizing ipads and youtube are infinitely worse than the saturday morning cartoons that filled older generations screen time.

I have a hunch we're going to see a hard swing back to analogue tech like cash, paper & pen, and face to face activities.

Is it worth it?

No. It will never be worth it. This is not the trade you think you are making.

Idk, I have constructed this "superior" all different character of mine

I assume that here lies your problem. That you somehow want this feeling of superiority, and you pick whatever could make you feel that way.

There are two ways you could do this:

• Detach from feelings of alienation in your friend group.
  OR
• Detach from the feelings of superiority.

There are ways to find mainstream stuff, but they need effort. RSS feeds, good news letters, subscriptions to actual newspapers, throwaway accounts for Social Media with strict time limits and adblockers.

I don't understand how social media is seen as the only source of enriching content. I have loads of stuff to talk to people about without social media.

The only social media I'm on is Lemmy.

• follow news via RSS. Use an app that let's you blacklist content you don't want to see.
• follow interests via RSS (gaming news, tech news, movie news, biking news... Whatever you like)
• listen to podcasts
• watch movies and TV shows
• read books
• follow sports
• pick a hobby or skill of interest
• talk to people about their interests

There are tons of ways to keep up with things. Social media isnt the only option..... Unless you particularly want follow social media trash specifically. If that's the case, then you're welcome to join any social media you want. You won't die. Use fake details, burner emails, burner phone sims if you want. The world won't end if one person goes back to contributing to data mining and consuming algorithm trash. You've got to live in your social circle and that's more important than what a bunch of people on Lemmy think.

I'm skeptical of trying to put myself on too much of a pedestal for what things I choose to consume, but I do feel with some conviction that I am 100% making the correct choice but trying to only minimally connect with social media for any kind of reason. With full awareness of just how snobby I sound saying this, I see the shit my co-workers and friends talk about from TikTok and instagram etc, and I'm just thinking the entire time "this is not that funny, or interesting" It always feel the anthropomorphized equivalent of a dog's chew toy. " Anyways, enough verbally fellating myself, if avoiding social media is making you feel better and less anxious then stay away from it, but if it's not really working and it's just making you feel isolated from your peers then maybe indulge at least a little. Stay conscious of your usage and don't let it eat into your psyche, but you don't always have to consume the "Best" media at all times, it's okay to eat some junk food from time to time.

I'm gen Z, and even though my knowledge about current meme topics have lowered noticeably, but I'm finding myself happy, since I still get a lot of infos from a VRChat discord server I'm active in, and an another one where my old and still uni friends posts some random shits about whatever dramas.

I feel your pain of feeling left out. I think as with most cases, being in the middle might be the best approach.

I've honestly been considering going back to Reddit but disabling comments in all but a handful of subreddits. My world has been a hell of a lot smaller since I started using Lemmy and has been shrinking.

I’m a big privacy nerd too but I still keep up with the news.

One thing I’ve noticed not using TikTok, etc. is that people will flat out tell me things that are objectively false: this goes for both liberals and conservatives. I block fake news and disinformation so many times links to those websites will just return DNS resolution errors.

The privacy stuff does get tiring sometimes. People try to link me to Google-owned platforms that I have blocked. I tunnel my end devices to a VPS in my country, then I use ECMP routing between three tunnels routing through different countries. Those three are access through yet another double-hop VPN with both hops in-country to lower suspicion of foreign-bound traffic from my VPS.

There are some tasks that are impossible to achieve without bypassing the VPN though.

In the end though, I feel my internet experience is extremely “clean” compared to others’. I don’t deal with ads, tracking, bad privacy laws, cookies, etc. Both my ISP and cellular company only see encrypted data and that’s it.

I have cut off most mainstream social media from my life, also starting from the Reddit exodus. What strikes me from this post is the idea you are pursuing data privacy as a way to be "superior" to other people, and not only that, you separate yourself from this person by calling them a character. I dunno, it sounds like you are doing things for the wrong reasons.

I joined the fediverse because I saw the business models of the mainstream sites becoming more and more abusive and manipulative towards their users. Staying on those platforms just felt distasteful. If others want to stay there, that's up to them. Weilding my social media cred over others like a cudgel just isn't a factor.

This may be a point where you reevaluate what is important to you. You'll drive yourself crazy if you try to adhere to what every privacy advocate online tells you to do. I recommend trying to make good privacy choices. When you have energy for it. And encourage others to do the same.

It's not a principle if it doesn't cost you anything.

The answer here depends on your values. Is it more important to you to consume media intentionally and at a slower pace – even if that means missing out on a lot of objectively less important stuff – or do you place higher value on staying “in the loop”? The real answer probably lies somewhere between those two extremes.

But one thing worth considering is this: if your friend group consists of people who are terminally online, then of course most of what they talk about will be things they’ve encountered online. If you’re not like that yourself, then some friction is inevitable. It’s like hanging out with golfers when you don’t golf.

If there's stuff you enjoy, and it's healthy for you to enjoy (eg, you feel more connected, and are learning about stuff that interests you) then you should keep doing it.

I have constructed this "superior" all different character of mine only to find I just don't have the personality irl to back up the character I've created and was longing to have something to be relatable to people.

Who does the character benefit? If it isn't you, or the benefit of being superior is outweighed by the cost of being different, then you should stop.

I use Lemmy and moved here in protest of the Reddit API pricing changes, but I'm not entirely opposed to other forms of social media. I'm aware of the privacy implications of a lot of them, and try to manage my use of them accordingly. I have Instagram and Snapchat etc which I have used for years to keep in touch with friends. 90% of my friends use Facebook messagenger to IM and I think that's pretty standard in Australia. I can't justify cutting that many people off for privacy reasons. I understand the privacy implications of using these. It's a balance. Social media can be bad for mental health, but a lack of social connection can be too. You need to find your own balance.