“The white zone is for the immediate loading and unloading of passengers only. There is no stopping in the red zone”.
this post was submitted on 09 Jul 2025
120 points (99.2% liked)
Not The Onion
17147 readers
2555 users here now
Welcome
We're not The Onion! Not affiliated with them in any way! Not operated by them in any way! All the news here is real!
The Rules
Posts must be:
- Links to news stories from...
- ...credible sources, with...
- ...their original headlines, that...
- ...would make people who see the headline think, “That has got to be a story from The Onion, America’s Finest News Source.”
Please also avoid duplicates.
Comments and post content must abide by the server rules for Lemmy.world and generally abstain from trollish, bigoted, or otherwise disruptive behavior that makes this community less fun for everyone.
And that’s basically it!
founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
Listen Betty, don’t start with your white zone/red zone shit again.
Oh, really, Vernon? Why pretend, we both know perfectly well what this is about. You want me to have an abortion.
Why not? Might be the time of the month eh?
"Never leave baggage unattended at anytime. If you see unattended baggage please repor-- MISTER ROBERT ANTWAN ZIMMEKIZ, YOU HAVE 1 CALL WAITING FOR YOU ON THE WHITE COURTESY TELEPHONE..."
Somebody was paid money for this.
Somebody was paid cold hard cash money to come up with this idea.
Somebody was paid money to approve this.
Somebody was paid money to create and record this.
Somebody was paid money to write this ludicrous story.
Somebody was paid money to edit this ludicrous story.
And it's the poors and immigrants that are to blame for the failings of this country?
Don’t worry, soon AI will do all this work and no one will get paid to do anything.
And yet, the bullshit will flow just as freely, if not faster, than before.
Chances are the people who came up with this idea already used AI to come up with the stupid fucking idea.
I mean, it could be interesting if they piped in ambient noise from outside the boarding area, etc, into the boarding area, particularly around the windows where you can see your plane and stuff.
Or like if there's an observation lounge watching take offs and things.
I assume that's not what they're talking about because no way an airport could be that cool, but details.
The best thing to pipe into an observation lounge is the tower/ground frequencies. Watching planes doesn't have to be a Disney experience with a soundtrack.
Watching planes doesn’t have to be a Disney experience with a soundtrack.
better than a "close encounters of a third kind" experience. Just saying. ;)
It's more likely people were already getting paid and just needed to come up with something to do to justify why they are there.
Ok, per usual the actual story is slightly less ludicrous. I'm reading this as they are going to make "songs" by taking real sounds but mixing and arranging them into rhythms, the same way they do in some movies as part of an in-world lead up to a song and dance number. So it will blend in but you may notice if you look for it and it will probably impact your subconscious and mood. Which seems to be the main goal.
Have some airport ASMR for your airport.
Yo dawg.
Yeesh
That's going to suck for anyone that gets sensory overload/feels overwhelmed by loud busy places like airports.
I actually disagree having listened to it as someone who gets sensory overload and panic attacks. (Disclaimer: I've just listened with headphones; the real-world implementation might change this.)
I thought the music was pleasant. I can see it helping to organically drown out the loud, chaotic, stressful noises naturally present in the airport.
I'm interested to hear what other people who get sensory overload think, though, since I'll bet it manifests in very different ways.
https://on.soundcloud.com/7zkln9SRp6hPlWXgs3 like, i don't hate it. baffling justification to make it, though.
That feeling is civilizational collapse right there
The sign of a dying empire is when you no longer bother to etch designs on the buildings. It's when you no longer give out swag. It's when you cut everything that doesn't make money, but does just make things nice
Doing things just to make things nice is good. It shouldn't need a reason beyond that
I'm not really confused by them commissioning music. I've seen like, murals and so on in airports. I also like the idea of using recordings of background noise to make a track. It's the idea of playing ambient airport noises in an airport that confuses me. But that's art, I suppose. Something to think about. I don't think me being confused by the thought process here - knowing very little about the theory being ambient music - is a sign of the death of an empire. There's plenty of those around.
Do you not think the soundscape of a place matters? If you don't understand why it makes a place better, I take back what I said about civilizational collapse
It's subtle to some people, but it affects your emotions, and how you perceive an environment. We're wired to go on alert when the forest goes silent, and to pay attention to loud noises... So when a plane, one of the loudest things in modern life, takes off and leaves the airport quiet, that's deeply disturbing on an animal level. When you walk through long hallways in the depth of night, it's unsettling no matter how brightly lit it is... Less so if a hundred other people are dragging their luggage and coughing
It's why they play birdsong and music at Disney... The rattle of a rollercoaster in the distance is terrifying without it
The sounds of life make a place feel safe, even if the paint is peeling, a light flickers, and there's no one around, the paths at Disney always feel safe
I've long complained about what happens when MBAs control companies without regard for industry experience. This is the inverse and what happens when people whose entire professional life is one industry wind up making decisions for it
So... Kinda like piping in ambient soothing audio over the livestock queueing in the slaughterhouse?
Uh... Hol'up. 😶
I can only guess this prescient classic isn't publicly viewable anymore.
"Don't call me Shirley!"
"Nothing compares to the excitement of stepping foot in the airport for the start of a summer holiday, and this new soundtrack perfectly captures those feelings,"
This is what happens when you don't have enough bullying in your schools
With public fundages? Erm. I.. erm
Seems like the rest of the comments, sans a few, didn't read the article.
Having flown a fair bit, Heathrow always felt rather quiet. I flew out and back to Heathrow 3 times within the span of a year, recently, and didnt notice any background music - something I became familiar with in other airports. If this is how they're planning to introduce some music I'm all for it.