this post was submitted on 01 Jul 2025
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Not The Onion

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[–] timewarp@lemmy.world 60 points 18 hours ago (2 children)

What does the Bible say about those who worship golden statues?

[–] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 23 points 18 hours ago

Yeehaw git'r'dun bake the steak boy howdy?

[–] Thekingoflorda@lemmy.world 9 points 12 hours ago

Don’t worry, the target audience is people who can’t read.

[–] Windex007@lemmy.world 43 points 18 hours ago (1 children)

RIP to the ER staff in deep red states being subjected to whatever stories they're gonna hear.

[–] surewhynotlem@lemmy.world 27 points 18 hours ago

~deep~ red states

At least the base is flared.

[–] peteyestee@feddit.org 31 points 19 hours ago* (last edited 19 hours ago)

Americans = QVC shoppers.

It's like his demographic is people that buy diet pills and insurance from daytime tv commercials.

[–] WatDabney@lemmy.dbzer0.com 24 points 18 hours ago (1 children)

So can we assume it smells like some combination of stale bronzer, McDonalds, flop sweat and ass?

[–] obvs@lemmy.world 10 points 18 hours ago

Oh it's definitely gonna smell like some asses.

[–] tal@lemmy.today 19 points 18 hours ago* (last edited 18 hours ago) (1 children)

The fragrance is available in two versions – one for men and one for women – and will set back supporters a whopping $249 for each 100ml bottle.

https://www.opeu.org.br/2024/09/18/a-profile-of-trump-voters-the-demographics-of-his-maga-enthusiasts/

A Profile of Trump Voters: The Demographics of his MAGA Enthusiasts and Their Relationship to Him

In their majority they tend to be white, male, and mainly older, are highly conservative, support traditional values such as religion and proud patriotism, are less likely to have a college degree, are more likely to be rural or small town-based and lower-income

I dunno if $250 bottles of cologne is highly aligned with what Trump's demographic wants, but I suppose he has more experience in brand building than I have.

[–] YourAvgMortal@lemmy.world 10 points 16 hours ago

It’s going to flop, but that’s ok because they only bought one lot from the Chinese factory

[–] Almonds@mander.xyz 18 points 19 hours ago* (last edited 19 hours ago) (1 children)

I don't think Trump has ever had that body shape. It's weird that he both signed it and put "his" likeness on it when he isn't the kind of famous person that people normally want either of those things from

[–] I_Fart_Glitter@lemmy.world 24 points 18 hours ago (1 children)
[–] Almonds@mander.xyz 4 points 18 hours ago

That would be iconic!

He is incapable of that though

[–] SpaceNoodle@lemmy.world 18 points 18 hours ago

LOL, that's supposed to be him?

[–] auraithx@lemmy.dbzer0.com 18 points 13 hours ago

The writers this season aren’t even trying anymore.

collapsed inline media

[–] BigMacHole@sopuli.xyz 13 points 19 hours ago

If it DOESNT smell like DIRTY DIAPER I'm going to be ANGRY but Still vote for Trump again!

[–] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 8 points 18 hours ago (1 children)
[–] SpaceNoodle@lemmy.world 7 points 18 hours ago

Axespensive

[–] huppakee@feddit.nl 6 points 19 hours ago

Before you know it there will be a Trump fan shop in every city, selling his parfume and other nonsense. Then they'll conquer the rest of the market: 'gold' side tables, 'gold' doormats, 'gold' bread knives, 'gold' salami, 'gold' olives, 'gold' potatoes, 'gold' paperclips, 'gold' sunglasses, 'gold' flip-flops, you name it. All with his head on it. And of course that signature 45-47 lettering. Super exclusive.

[–] Zier@fedia.io 5 points 13 hours ago

Why is that statue shiny orange????

[–] Maeve@kbin.earth 4 points 18 hours ago (1 children)

Does it smell like a combination of Old Spice and English Leather?

[–] nokturne213@sopuli.xyz 11 points 18 hours ago (2 children)

Naw it is dirty diapers and beef grease

[–] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 3 points 18 hours ago

Shush dude that's my retirement plan right there

[–] Zier@fedia.io 2 points 13 hours ago

You forgot the twice fried KFC and room temperature ketchup.

[–] ayyy@sh.itjust.works 2 points 3 hours ago

That is not a statue of him.

[–] Ioughttamow@fedia.io 2 points 18 hours ago

Old and busted: sewage district New and exciting: Trump perfumery