this post was submitted on 22 Jun 2025
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Programmer Humor

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[–] spongebue@lemmy.world 107 points 2 days ago (4 children)

I was looking for "buzzword soup website doesn't say what the product fucking does"

Maybe that wouldn't fit in a square

[–] Stovetop@lemmy.world 76 points 2 days ago (5 children)

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[–] spongebue@lemmy.world 38 points 2 days ago

It's so perfectly terrible 🥹

[–] Nikophos@lemmy.ca 9 points 1 day ago

I was scrolling through job postings today and came across one that read like this. I was confused -> clicked the link -> saw a picture of two oil rig workers -> genuinely said "Ah, oil!" out loud -> and closed the web page.

They try to hide behind green washing and jargon. It happened to me at a university career fair a few months ago, too.

[–] QuazarOmega@lemy.lol 9 points 1 day ago

Chat, is this real?

[–] affiliate@lemmy.world 9 points 1 day ago

the only possible way this could be worse was if it was called CloudChain and also had weird blockchain/crypto nonsense.

[–] AnUnusualRelic@lemmy.world 6 points 1 day ago

Oh, that CloudBox...

[–] captain_aggravated@sh.itjust.works 42 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

A game of Bingo requires several players to have different cards. That would be on another card. Other possible entries:

  • Uses recently popular buzzword tech for no reason.
  • Uses an always-on internet connection and multiple server farms to perform a function that ran locally on a Palm V PDA in 1997
  • Isn't legal in the EU
[–] kautau@lemmy.world 12 points 2 days ago

Are you talking about the turbo encabulator, retro encabulator, or hyper encabulator?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RXJKdh1KZ0w

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5nKk_-Lvhzo

[–] ICastFist@programming.dev 3 points 1 day ago

Happens often with GitHub projects as well. It's that or "it expands on the capabilities of BLARG by making it easier to use" - doesn't explain the changes

[–] CheeseNoodle@lemmy.world 38 points 1 day ago (1 children)

You completely forgot:
"Actually just monetizes somethign that already existed for free"
Though I guess Ads is already the free space.

[–] Lemminary@lemmy.world 7 points 1 day ago

But it's new and better! Just ask our huge team of three programmers and thirty marketing geniuses.

[–] spacecadet@lemm.ee 28 points 2 days ago (8 children)

What apps only work for straight white guys?

[–] blackluster117@sh.itjust.works 28 points 2 days ago

Does truth social have an app?

[–] cryptiod137@lemmy.world 20 points 2 days ago

Not an app, but the Kinect had trouble with people of certain shades

[–] LeFrog@discuss.tchncs.de 14 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

Not really an answer to your question, but worth a read to widen your horizon: It’s a huge problem that most health apps are created by men — here’s how to fix that

[–] captain_aggravated@sh.itjust.works 13 points 2 days ago (2 children)

I'm sure there are none, straight white guys are just a favorite villain around here.

I can think of a tech that doesn't work as well on black people though: Pulse oximeters. A pulse oximeter works by shining two wavelengths of light through your finger to measure the amount of oxygen in your blood. It also sees your blood come and go with your pulse, so it can detect your heart rate. Well get this: melanin blocks light. A black man's finger is more opaque than a white man's finger, so optical pulse oximeters have been known to fail to detect hypoxia in dark skinned people. This problem has been known since the 70's, and continues to be a problem to the present day. Because you know what happened recently? A global pandemic of a respiratory disease. Pulse oximeters failed to detect hypoxia in more black patients than white patients, who then weren't given supplemental oxygen. So why in the last 50 years hasn't that been addressed?

[–] Eranziel@lemmy.world 3 points 1 day ago (1 children)

While I'm sure the obvious systemic issues contribute to not looking for alternatives, that does sound like largely an issue inherent to optical pulse oximeters. Engineers aren't miracle workers, they can't change physics to their liking.

I'm sure pulse oximeters now are more accurate than they were 20 years ago. The fact we're still using them is because no alternatives have been found which are as easy to use, reliable, and non-invasive as pulse oximeters, even with the known downsides.

Engineers aren't miracle workers, granted. Which is why it is their responsibility to thoroughly test the devices they design and document their limitations. It's then on the medical industry to train doctors and nurses on those limitations.

I’m sure pulse oximeters now are more accurate than they were 20 years ago.

As I said, this continues to be a problem into the present day. COVID-19 patients with dark skin would suffer from hypoxia that pulse oximeters would fail to detect, leading the medical staff to fail to administer supplemental oxygen. That's probably happening somewhere on earth as I type this.

Do the little lights in the device need to be brighter, or have a brighter mode? Does their need to be a switch on the side? Can our cultures handle a medical device with a "white people | black people" switch on the side?

[–] CanadaPlus@lemmy.sdf.org 2 points 15 hours ago* (last edited 15 hours ago) (1 children)

Dating apps and similar with insufficient moderation come to mind, or even ones that effectively paywall dickpics and harassment instead of removing it.

For gender nonconforming people, lots of forms.

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[–] 21Cabbage@lemmynsfw.com 6 points 2 days ago

Nothing comes to mind at the moment but I doubt somebody isn't trying.

[–] ulterno@programming.dev 6 points 2 days ago

Maybe the skin cancer detection app?

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[–] Jankatarch@lemmy.world 21 points 1 day ago

I would add "people blame programmers and CS majors instead of rich dudes for some reason."

[–] PlexSheep@infosec.pub 9 points 1 day ago (2 children)

The "bug causes death" thing can be ticked for everything safety critical. Starts with the small electronics in an elevator.

[–] CanadaPlus@lemmy.sdf.org 2 points 15 hours ago

Are they making elevators without mechanical fail-safes now?

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[–] goatinspace@feddit.org 7 points 2 days ago
[–] Ziglin@lemmy.world 7 points 21 hours ago

My code only gets me one square :(

(Doesn't work)

[–] Dagwood222@lemm.ee 6 points 1 day ago

[obligatory George Carlin reference]

https://youtu.be/6MVABINRzN4

[–] DrunkAnRoot@sh.itjust.works 5 points 1 day ago

skynut will 100% be a thing meta makes

[–] lemmyknow@lemmy.today 3 points 1 day ago (6 children)

Somewhat unrelated but… can anyone define "rich"? How much money before one is deemed rich? Where is the line drawn between rich and non-rich?

[–] MadhuGururajan@programming.dev 18 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Here's a couple of good starting points for the line:

if you have to sell your time/labour for money, you're not rich.

if you can take a day off and not need to tell anyone about it and not lose money because of it, you're rich.

[–] expr@programming.dev 7 points 1 day ago (1 children)

That's a really poor metric, because that encompasses many salaried jobs.

But yes, it's ultimately just about whether or not you are selling your time for money, or if you have acquired enough money to exploit the labor of others to make yourself more money without doing anything yourself.

[–] yessikg@lemmy.blahaj.zone 3 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Most people with salaried jobs are not rich

[–] expr@programming.dev 3 points 1 day ago

That's what I'm saying.

[–] HK65@sopuli.xyz 14 points 1 day ago

Is your main income through capital or labour. That simple. Always been.

[–] Dagwood222@lemm.ee 8 points 1 day ago

You're middle class if you're still working for your money. You're rich when your money works for you.

A $5 million a year actor/athlete still has to work; they are also paying for their trainers, agents, dietitians, clothes etc. They are upper middle class.

A trust fund baby with an income of $1 million a year is the rich one. imho.

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[–] ScoffingLizard@lemmy.dbzer0.com 3 points 16 hours ago

So if someone says Windows, everybody gets a Bingo somehow?

[–] Madzielle@lemmy.dbzer0.com 3 points 1 day ago

This is fucking hilarious

do i create a new tech alt on some short form content site? or is there an intended way to use the bingo board

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