This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.
Be warned:
If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.
I don’t know who needs to hear this, but:
Do not take dating advice from people who never dated.
Do not take relationship advice from people who never had a relationship.
Do not take sex advice from people who never fucked.
And especially do none of these things on 4chan.
Seriously, I have been in a relationship for a decade and a half and some of the relationship advice I have seen men give other men on the internet the past several years tells me that they have never been in stable relationships themselves.
It also tells me that most of them have no clue what women want.
Quick video about what body type women think is attractive vs what men thought women think is attractive.
Spoiler alert: Most men think they have to be ripped like a Marvel superhero while most women thought that shit looked scary and wanted the slightly toned body or the dad bod.
Please don't starve/dehydrate yourself, take steroids, and stay at the gym for 5 hours everyday. Exercise and be healthy because it's good for you and that you love yourself. Be as normal as you can be. Take a shower, clean your room, do hobbies and activities, including outdoor ones.
You know what a woman really wants?
Have meaningful conversations, clean up a little bit, eat puss, sometimes cook food.
This isn't rocket surgery.
It's almost like women are people who want the same things everyone wants or something.
Forgot eat hot chip and lie
Only take the advice of people you want to end up like. It's such a simple concept that so many people don't heed
To every guy feeling a little self conscious about size, try putting something the same size as your penis inside you. It'll feel a lot bigger after that.
I prefer to put something larger in me (last time was a sandwich)
Less painful. Take a piece of paper and cut it your your length and girth (roll it into a tube and tape it). Then hold it up to your face.
Looks way bigger up close.
instructions unclear, learned I enjoy a larger member than my wife does
Fake: Anon has sex with a woman
Gay: Anon started this whole thread just to get guys to talk about dicks.
All dicks are good dicks, just like all boobs are good boobs. Don't let your dreams be dreams.
Most chicks don’t know how big 5.5” is.
I mean, as a European I don't even know how big that is
When I was at school we had rulers that had both inches and centimetres on. 1-12" and 1-30cm. Now they didn't perfectly line up. But as a good rule of thumb, 6" = 15cm and 12" = 30cm.
Speak softly but carry a big dick.
Remember having that boring conversation about size, and a girl in the group summed it up perfectly: "The most important thing is the guy it's connected to"
pic unrelated..?
Pic very cute <3
Pic is talking shit about people's moms in the cod lobby.
Aight, so whomever needs to hear this. The average vaginal canal is only about 3-4 inches long and might lengthen to about 5 inches if relaxed. Despite what bad porn anatomy might tell you it can hurt to go deeper than that. All of the nerve endings are clustered at the opening.
The prostate is two inches deep. Virtually all the same mechanics apply.
Your penis is fine.
This is the correct take. As someone well endowed, I get to either be real real careful and avoid a lot of positions, or date exclusively masochistic girls who want it to hurt. As a result, I have had the thought "I'm not sadistic enough for this girl" during sex before.
Yeah as a bottom with a large partner with delayed ejaculation I can say that while people seem to value length and stamina/lasting power in porn... the reality is there's advantages to not accidentally knocking the absolute stuffing out of your partner and tiring them to the bone whenever you do the deed.
Yes please. I’m sorry guys, but it’s not a super power to “be able to keep going and going” without effort. That’s called desensitivity, and it’s troubling.
I don’t like always having to be the one to decide when sex has to stop. I don’t like when every act ends because I’m getting sore. It makes me feel like a buzzkill. If you can’t sometimes stop yourself first, sex risks becoming a chore for your partner to endure, instead of a mutually-enjoyable act of bonding.
YMMV, talking to your partner is better than assuming anything based off a Lemmy comment. This is just some food for thought.
Let's put that super clear:
There. Is. No. Good. Dick. Size.
There are ladies that prefer 8 inches, and ladies that prefer 4.
Some will not feel it deep enough, some others will say it hurts because it's too deep.
Just...make sure you and your partner find a way to make good use of whatever you've got. Select poses that will set you on the right depth, do magic with other sorts of penetrative and non-penetrative sex, and just listen to each other's bodies.
Also, to everyone who goes with "big dick = alpha" shit, you're both wrong and make it hard to unfuck some guys' minds on what makes them good for sex.
if you have a dick at all you should consider yourself lucky. half the population are born with a condition that causes dicklessness.
It's just a negative penis size!
(But really, clitoris is kinda a derivative of penis)
It's the other way round! A penis is more a derivative of a clit. That's why that line along the balls exists: everything started out closer to a vulva, and that line is where the proto labia fused.
correction: there is a social stigma that having a big dick is good, thus having a big dick is good. completely irrelevant what anyone prefers
stigma - a mark of disgrace or infamy; a stain or reproach, as on one's reputation.
I’m not sure what word you meant to say, but I don’t think it was supposed to be “stigma”?
oh i guess ive been misusing that word lmao
The proper way to use it in a sentence is "stigma dick in your mouth." Trust me, I've got a really good vocabulary.
Isn't the world average supposed to be like 4 or slightly under at ~100 mm. Donkey Kong's are like wildly mutated freaks. Porn just needs them because a camera is in the way so diagonosexnastics is required.
It's a rather dumb plot hole IMO. I never met a drummer rocket scientist type. I'm sure they are out there somewhere, but pounding the cervix like a drum is a boring tune fit for an absentee-alpha brain. If that is what a person is interested in – ehh just consider me tiny to maybe make you feel a little better.
If you feel self conscious, become a roadie (bicycle). Everyone says I won't wear the clothes and we all learn the clothes have a solid purposeful reason to exist. A few years of solid riding and you will not give a fuck about how anyone thinks of your junk. If you want to look, go ahead you dirty slut. I don't care if you look or that you are a slut.
Does anyone know what this individual is trying to say here?
Let bike rider spandex being revealing but necessary act as exposure treatment for your small penis complex?
That definitely clears things up.
Or why (at the time of writing) 14 people apparently upvoted them?
This is like interpreting Dickens, let's see if I'm smarter than an English major
Isn't the world average supposed to be like 4 or slightly under at ~100 mm. Donkey Kong's are like wildly mutated freaks. Porn just needs them because a camera is in the way so diagonosexnastics is required.
They posit that the average penis is around 4 inches long, and that porn tends to employ people with abnormally large penises so they look better on camera.
It's a rather dumb plot hole IMO. I never met a drummer rocket scientist type. I'm sure they are out there somewhere, but pounding the cervix like a drum is a boring tune fit for an absentee-alpha brain. If that is what a person is interested in – ehh just consider me tiny to maybe make you feel a little better.
Here it's getting more metaphorical. They poetically compare sex with someone with a large penis to "pounding the cervix like a drum," drawing a contrast against someone with a more standard penis who has to use it more intelligently (a "rocket scientist" in this analogy).
If you feel self conscious, become a roadie (bicycle). Everyone says I won't wear the clothes and we all learn the clothes have a solid purposeful reason to exist. A few years of solid riding and you will not give a fuck about how anyone thinks of your junk. If you want to look, go ahead you dirty slut. I don't care if you look or that you are a slut.
Here they're poetically describing someone who receives anal sex regularly as a "roadie" or a "bicycle," i.e. one who gets "ridden" regularly. They're suggesting that once you've had a variety of penises of varying size inside of you, you'll feel a lot less self conscious about whatever you're packing.
I saw what you did. Carry on.
Its interesting when its not obvious whether someone is on drugs or just isn't very good at writing clear English. Maybe both? Certainly was a ride!