this post was submitted on 26 Apr 2025
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Lemmy Shitpost

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[–] Bishma@discuss.tchncs.de 119 points 17 hours ago (2 children)

When I was in college my roommates and I would open all those offers standing at the mailbox, seal the empty envelopes back up, then put then right back in the mailbox for the carrier to grab the next day (or maybe mail thieves, who knows). We figured just mailing them all back was going to cost something.

[–] Jayb151@lemmy.world 21 points 11 hours ago (1 children)

I did the same, wrote in the letter for them to suck my balls... They called me back lol

[–] LostXOR@fedia.io 19 points 9 hours ago

Well... Did they suck your balls?

[–] The_v@lemmy.world 5 points 8 hours ago

When I was first out of college I used to get 8-10 of pre-payed envelopes every week. I kept a PO box for my mail that I would check weekly.

I would have maybe 1 or two pieces of real mail and a full box of junk.

So I started folding up the junk mail I to the 8-10 prepared envelopes every week. This was all done at the counter next to my PO box and dropped mailed back right then.

It was quite cathartic.

[–] Iheartcheese@lemmy.world 98 points 16 hours ago (4 children)

I fart in the envelopes then they are like 'yay someone wants our credit card OH NO ITS FARTS!'

[–] Imgonnatrythis@sh.itjust.works 17 points 15 hours ago

Basically the same thing they do when they send these things in unmarked envelopes.

[–] TheColonel@reddthat.com 11 points 12 hours ago

I know/hope this is a joke but people used to do this at an independent, third party, mail sorting place I worked at as a teenager.

They’d mail all sorts of shit (both literal and figurative) and it was basically handled by one guy who seemed ok with it but was definitely not ok.

Mail them lead, weights, whatever. But please, no matter how despicable the company, there’s likely some at very least mildly abused worker who is just trying to earn a wage and has to deal with the vile shit people try to punish companies with.

[–] dai@lemmy.world 8 points 15 hours ago

Aaaah pink eye!

[–] fmstrat@lemmy.nowsci.com 8 points 13 hours ago

I read this as you wrote it: "its farts", like the envelope has farts, vs "it is farts". Both are technically correct, but seems so much funnier that way.

[–] ptz@dubvee.org 74 points 17 hours ago (1 children)

Huh. I should try this with the old refrigerator in my basement that I've been needing to get rid of.

[–] spankmonkey@lemmy.world 56 points 17 hours ago* (last edited 13 hours ago) (2 children)

If it wasn't shitty towards the post office people I would support it.

But under 10 lbs...

[–] ininewcrow@lemmy.ca 27 points 16 hours ago (1 children)

Now you have to cut up your refrigerator into 10lbs pieces

[–] FelixCress@lemmy.world 7 points 14 hours ago (1 children)

What about the body inside?

[–] tenchiken@lemmy.dbzer0.com 4 points 13 hours ago

Liquify and add to old beverage bottles. Simple and fun for the whole office upon opening!

[–] BigDaddySlim@lemmy.world 25 points 16 hours ago* (last edited 16 hours ago) (2 children)

Sadly we have a weight and size limit on these, but if you can load a mini fridge and keep it under 70lbs it should be accepted.

Legally this is not shipping advice and purely a shitpost

[–] orbituary@lemmy.dbzer0.com 23 points 15 hours ago
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[–] kieron115@startrek.website 53 points 15 hours ago (1 children)

IF you're going to do this, make sure use some sort of sealed package (like the box in the photo). You used to be able to slap these things on like a sheet of plywood and just send it as is but now if the package isn't sealed and is obvious misuse the post office can just throw it in the dumpster. If its a sealed package then the post office has to deliver it and the permit holder has to pay the charges. https://about.usps.com/postal-bulletin/2019/pb22525/html/updt_001.htm

[–] Th3D3k0y@lemmy.world 24 points 14 hours ago (2 children)

Like 70lbs of neutronium in a USPS flat rate box?

[–] Kolanaki@pawb.social 4 points 12 hours ago (1 children)

Hmm... Where can I get a bunch of tungsten? 🤔

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[–] softcat@lemmy.ca 48 points 17 hours ago (3 children)

Let's all do our part to help little boulders travel

[–] mosiacmango@lemm.ee 8 points 14 hours ago (1 children)

Glaciers take millions of years to deposit boulders across the land.

Humans: "we can do better."

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[–] ryan213@lemmy.ca 8 points 16 hours ago (1 children)

Are they an invasive species?

[–] jmiller@lemm.ee 11 points 16 hours ago (1 children)

They can't reproduce, should be fine.

[–] Burninator05@lemmy.world 4 points 14 hours ago* (last edited 14 hours ago)

Their reproduction cycle is weird but they multiply. Oddly enough all it takes is a couple of sold hits with a hammer and you'll have a bunch of boulers instead of just one. They'll be smaller but there will be more of them.

[–] GroundedGator@lemmy.world 44 points 14 hours ago

This is how we save the USPS.

[–] Delphia@lemmy.world 27 points 11 hours ago (2 children)

Friendly reminder.

Make sure that you use a box with no identifying information. Scribbling out the barcodes isnt enough.

Mailing restrictions still apply. Mailing them back rotting fish or potentially hazardous materials is a federal offence.

Mailing any kind of threat is also against the law.

[–] Natanael@infosec.pub 14 points 11 hours ago

Doesn't help when you use a return postage slip. They have unique codes. Being "just annoying" is probably the safest bet.

[–] nickiwest@lemmy.world 9 points 9 hours ago

If you're concerned about your anonymity, keep in mind that companies frequently put ID numbers on their return envelopes to help match the returned mail piece with your record in their database. Sometimes the number is invisible (UV ink) so it doesn't look "mass produced" to the recipient.

[–] Mediocre_Bard@lemmy.world 23 points 9 hours ago (1 children)

We can do that?

Do I just take it to the post office?

[–] Ajen@sh.itjust.works 28 points 8 hours ago (1 children)

No, this is fake. You can put whatever you want in the envelope and send it back, but they won't deliver a whole package. They only prepaid postage for a letter.

Of course if you send something dangerous/threatening you might get arrested.

[–] daggermoon@lemmy.world 5 points 6 hours ago

I'ma print out a goatse and mail it to them.

[–] notabot@lemm.ee 22 points 15 hours ago (3 children)

Don't use a rock, use 10lb of glitter.

[–] PaintedSnail@lemmy.world 12 points 13 hours ago (5 children)

Nah. That would piss off the mailroom employees, but they don't control who gets sent mail. The weight costing money does hurt the people who make the marketing decisions, though.

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[–] mvilain@fedia.io 21 points 17 hours ago (11 children)

I have long fantasized about doing this exact same thing, especially to MAGA-types who somehow got my address and are mailing me requests for donations. Someone in those groups as well as THE SALVATION ARMY have discovered that those postage guaranteed reply envelopes cost money and prompt this response. So now all that stuff requires a stamp if you want to reply. I hope that's cut down on their fundraising efforts.

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[–] GrumpyDuckling@sh.itjust.works 13 points 13 hours ago (1 children)

Check the barcode on the bottom and make sure it doesn't have your information in it.

[–] Pyr_Pressure@lemmy.ca 9 points 11 hours ago

What can they do? Send you more junk mail?

[–] djehuti@programming.dev 13 points 7 hours ago

That's actually a large boulder; it's just the size of a small boulder.

[–] Matt3999@lemmy.world 11 points 12 hours ago (1 children)

I once sent a thick telephone book with "Return to Sender - not at this address" on it after receiving mail addressed the previous house owner. This was after receiving their junk mail over several years and returning it with the same message scribbled on the envelope. This tactic finally worked and stopped the junk mail coming.

[–] JasonDJ@lemmy.zip 6 points 11 hours ago

This must've been a long time ago. Otherwise where would you find a phone book, let alone a thick one.

[–] sin_free_for_00_days@sopuli.xyz 10 points 11 hours ago (5 children)

USPS got so pissed at me for just leaving my junk mail in the box. I told them over and over I didn't need trash delivered to my place. In the end, I just stopped all USPS deliveries. I had nothing of importance coming in through the mail.

[–] anachrohack@lemmy.world 18 points 11 hours ago

Postal Employee: "May I help you?"

Kramer: "Yeah, I'd like to cancel my mail."

Postal Employee: "Certainly. How long would you like us to hold it?"

Kramer: "Oh, no, no. I don't think you get me. I want out, permanently."

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[–] mavu@discuss.tchncs.de 8 points 11 hours ago (3 children)
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[–] Memetic@lemmy.ca 7 points 14 hours ago

I used to send them coupons.

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