this post was submitted on 12 Nov 2025
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People actually LOVE to complain to each other. Perhaps if you shared your downer shit, you could find lots of connection. Just be sure to dose the information in small bits, so that the other person has enough space to react and share their own depressiive stories.
Why would I want to just add more shit to what someone else is dealing with and then have theirs added to me? That would just leave us both more stressed out than ever.
You'd think that, but that's part of the point and magic, and it does not necessarily add up to that point of "leave us both more stressed than ever".
It still adds up to increasing connection, not decreasing it. The caveat is that the whole leaving room for the other person too is vital, it can't be overwhelmingly one sided, good or ill.
The human condition includes depressive shit too, and no one is unique in capacity for suffering, only details. That's still something to bond over.
It does me. You all are acting like I have no experience with this. Finding out other people are suffering the same as me doesn't make me feel better about the situation. It makes it feel more hopeless.
People often vent that way. They need to hear they're not alone in this shit - it makes them feel better.
It doesn't make me feel better. It makes me feel like our situation is hopeless.
Because people with problems in common often have solutions in common and then only one of you needs to have the answer. The whole person-climbs-down-into-the-hole-with-you story.