this post was submitted on 05 Aug 2025
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I’ll engage honestly with this for a sec.
Yes, parenting is hard work. I have kids myself. It’s not easy and can be rather thankless at times.
I think what people are downvoting/getting upset with you about is that there’s a lot of parents who take the above and say “you owe me XYZ. Do you know how much I sacrificed for you !?!” My family did this to me. It’s heartbreaking when they pull this card and you’re just trying to get them to…well just not be shitty towards you and your family.
You kinda opt-in to the thanklessness a bit. Which renders the “owing” argument moot.
Yes I understand this is coming from people who feel (probably rightly) that their parents weren't good parents and didn't do enough for them, and which may have said the things you mention.
But even taking all of that as true, those parents, as bad as they may have been, still made sacrifices for their kids. I agree that this is a horrible thing to hang over their heads, but it doesn't make it untrue either.
I also agree you are signing up for this usually thankless job and should be ready for that. But that also doesn't negate the fact that you are making some sacrifices to be a parent.