It sounds like you have a lot of hurt wrapped up in this and I am sorry for that. Men are people. A lot of alt right men were led down a path by people who cared, because others did not and told them they were the opressor and enemy when in reality they were lost and without social connection. Men do not get socialized in the same way women do and beating on them like this rather than offering a hand in help is what led to this exact thing.
You also sound young as well as full of energy on this topic. You are losing the human perspective in favor of us versus them politics. You are perpetuating it.
Please think about what you are doing, I don't think me debating you further will lead to anything.
Sincerely a leftist white man who loves all people and wants us all to get along and support one another.
You seem deeply affected by them caring now and not before. Are you worried they will convince him? If not then they will eventually see it worked itself out and stop caring. If not, well they aren't involved in your relationship so what do they matter? Not everybody will like you, it's wasted energy to try and make that the goal.